If we could do over days, yesterday would be one of those days for me. I couldn't get anything right and made a few things wrong. Though if I were to be honest, I would do over about 90% of the days. Unfortunately none of us have this ability. 90% might seem high but I really think a few months ago it would have been 95%. No point complaining that I am not happy because only I can change that, it should be easy but really isn't.
Once again today the weather is absolutely crappy. It is 8 degrees, overcast, windy and ready to rain. I would rather it just rained, it is far less depressing than weather that looks like should be raining. Rain is actually very therapeutic, at least in my mind. I actually think I need to snap at someone for something stupid they have done. But since I often do stupid things, I stop myself. Though I often think I am too laid back and don't say what I really want to say enough. I think this is because it keeps others from really saying what they want to say to me. Let them be and they will let you be. Whatever it is you are being.
"Love hurts but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zxPcmi1U25g
The diversity of Incubus is what makes them one of my favourite bands. They have a great ability to produce straight forward rock songs mixed with club beats along with rock songs that are full of meaning without being sappy. Above is one of my recent favourites called Love Hurts and yes it does, not having love can also hurt.
I wrote the following yesterday. It is called Absolutely Real Or Completely Imagined. There are times when I wonder if what I am feeling is real or if it is just something I imagined. There are also times when I wonder if I imagine feelings that they will become real. I am sure it isn't as complex as I make it but my brain has been programmed to make it as complex as possible.
Absolutely Real Or Completely Imagined
I am used to fighting myself
Resulting in multiple wounds
Most of them are invisible to you
Though my eyes see everything
Absolutely real or completely imagined
I do not think it really matters
There is no explanation for these fights
Human nature or complex genetics
I could not really tell you
Words often fail me
Despite their ability to create
The most beautiful imagery
Coloured ribbons and blue sky
I would fly beyond them
If contentment existed there
Down here under night
There is nothing but instability
Skin crawling with worrying
Spiders gathering in cobwebs
Where dust lingers and stays
I cannot touch anything real
All of my inspiration has died
There was no funeral or flowers
Only a sinking feeling of inadequacy
When it came time to speak
I had no mouth or eyes
They had been replaced by rocks
More of a weight to carry
Up and down these spring hills
Covered with yellow dandelions
Thicker than wild purple violets
I will always be a melancholy blue
The sun might burn me red
Should exposure be heightened
Life is not lived on the outside
Unfortunately it is lived on the inside
Where the doubts live like kings
I am a beggar to my own thoughts
Happy for an occasional good day
The escape of a familiar movie
Smiling for less than two hours
Longer than a favourite song
Stuck on repeat for an hour
I have been trying and failing
Longer than a movie or a song
No matter how often they are repeated.
05/20/08
"Still and transfixed, the electric sheep sheep are dreaming up your fate and judge you from the card castle, comfort of America...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xm5Ul18DasI
Talk Shows On Mute might be my favourite Incubus song, I absolutely dig it. The only "talk show" I watch is Letterman, I have since the late 1980's and I am not going to stop now. Others (and not Leno) are funnier and hipper but Dave is like an old friend. I only watch other "talk shows" if there is music or a guest I like, usually music. Occasionally I will watch Ferguson just for his monologue.
Sticking with Letterman, below are a bunch of my favourite clips from his show.
The first is Jeff Dunham and Walter doing Ventriloquism.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=D60yjEbQnDg
The second is Borat making his first appearance on Letterman.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NvQScRuZj9s
The third is Richard Simmons and his exploding steamer.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3SCJLlSf21Y
The fourth is Frank Caliendo as John Madden.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=XBW7ysPcbT0
The fifth is Crispin Glover absolutely fucked up in 1987.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ALapHYNSmoA
The sixth is Diet Coke and Mentos on the street.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3L4BuJXObA0
The seventh is Dave at McDonald's.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AtPGdOs7zOM
The eighth is Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lawler, lots of swearing.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kv73yzYuE_M
The ninth is Bill O'Reilly and Dave going at it over politics and Iraq.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uKftpGB03vU
The tenth is Jay Leno on Letterman in 1983.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=o25FiglIujU
The eleventh is Norm MacDonald after being fired from SNL, long clip.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tudRETrphxk
The twelfth is Dave fighting Butterscotch the miniature horse.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=b1UslLhkQuc
That is enough for now. One last thing on talk shows, Counting Crows will be on Good Morning America for an outdoor performance this Friday, I imagine they will be playing a few songs between 8:30-9:00 am. Below is Mr. Jones from their last performance on the show.
"We all want something beautiful, I wish I was beautiful..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jDN7v8kHmbA
Below is an article from the New York Times, explaining how an older brain might actually be a wiser brain. It just takes longer for the information to be filtered through the brain because there is more information. But once all the information is processed, there are more experiences to build upon.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/20/health/research/20brai.html?em&ex=1211515200&en=6b45984e523a9f97&ei=5087%0A
"Hey megalomaniac, you're no Jesus, yeah, you're no fucking Elvis..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=iFnnV595byE
If Talk Shows On Mute isn't my favourite Incubus song than Megalomaniac is. Someone suffering from megalomania might have illusions of grandeur and think they are smarter or more powerful than they really are. I wonder what the opposite is. Minimomaniac.
Oil and water. Me and most people.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7SF9b5QgMCs
jr.
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