The weather sucks again today. It is a holiday here in Canada; Victoria Day. We are celebrating the birthday of Queen Victoria and it is also a day to celebrate the birthday of our reigning sovereign's birthday; Queen Elizabeth II. Though her birthday is actually April 21. Canada has some interesting quirks which make us unique and also makes me question, if we shouldn't be rewriting our own history and celebrating the lives of Canadians instead of British Monarchs. After all we are an independent country.
I think holiday Monday's are the most boring days of the year, everyone is tired from the weekend and not wanting to do anything, myself included. They are the most quiet of days for me and crappy weather makes them even quieter.
"Went out on the street today, the Canadian Dream was as far away as it’s ever been..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zo_S13SYeZw
Since it was quiet and I was bored, I decided to try writing something and the results are below.
Rejecting Myself
The sky looks like a smoker’s lungs
Intermittent rain spoils Victoria Day
I have been closing doors and windows
Not finding inspiration beyond them
Almost perfect girls are on my mind
I do not think almost perfection is in me
The weekend has extended into Monday
My most recent search yielded nothing
Forming new friendships are becoming rare
There always seems to be things missing
Whether they are not in me or someone else
I can never really tell and can only guess
Why it seems like moments are being lost
Slipping through fingers without commitments
Unable to decide between trying and failing
Needing to love but afraid of being loved
I have always protected my heart
With invisible reasons why it should not be loved
They come to me with great ease and clarity
A beautiful illusion of permanent loneliness
This might be my own field of gold
I can deny anyone entrance into
A selfish keeper of stories and jokes
Songs, poems, books, dreams and embraces
All the rejection is avoided by rejecting myself
Therefore no one but me can hurt me
I am already alone and it is a known feeling
Steady rain splashes on the balcony
I have been carefully writing and thinking
Piecing together memories and opinions
Ready to accept the consequences of my changing
There is not enough forgiveness left in me
For the moments we have lost or missed
They are gone like the sun today
Perhaps tomorrow they will return
When the light is different
When the music is brighter
For now melancholy sounds vibrate
A heart beating but not loving
Anything more than it did yesterday.
05/19/08
"I can never bring them back but those days remain inside the very heart of me, my memories are white and black but the song's the same, it plays in every part of me..."
http://www.imeem.com/tikasmusic/music/wINimCoi/sam_roberts_every_part_of_me/
Below is an article from the New York Times about how Germany is thriving with $8 a gallon gas whereas the U.S. is struggling with $4+ a gallon gas. As gas prices here in North America continue to rise it will be up to us to find alternatives and demand alternatives from our countries and the companies working inside our countries.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/19/opinion/19krugman.html?_r=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin
"'Cause there's no road that ain't a hard road to travel on..."
Below is a link to my friends Jeremiah and Jason's band Phantom Of The Mind, they have some new demos up for our listening pleasure. They are also playing a show this Saturday here and I am looking forward to it because I haven't seen them playing since January.
http://www.myspace.com/phantomofthemind
I think I will do some reading to pass the early evening. At least the sun has decided to make an appearance but it is only 11 degrees.
The Gate below is a really good song by Sam Roberts, along with Canadian Dream, Every Part Of Me and Hard Road scatter throughout this blog.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=h0XQB5Jq6yw
jr.
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