7:50 pm
Home
I did not get to watch much of the Oscars last night because I had to go into work. What I saw were the minor awards and relatively boring skits. Anne Hathaway proved that she could really sing, Jennifer Aniston proved she still is not funny even paired with Jack Black. Tina Fey and Steve Martin were mildly amusing and what is wrong with Goldie Hawn, she scared me. Also how the hell does Penelope Cruz win an Oscar, I can't understand her in Spanish or English. I was happy this morning to learn that Heath Ledger, as predicted, won for his Joker role in Batman, this was the first Batman movie I really liked. The only nominated lead actor role I had seen was Sean Penn in Milk and I thought he was great, so his win does not surprise me. I am glad in his speech he spoke up against California's disgraceful anti-gay legislation because taking rights away from gay couples is just wrong. If there is a God, this person would never condemn anyone for loving someone else. Kate Winslet finally won in the category of lead actress for her role in the Reader, I haven't seen the movie but did read the book. I found it a little hard to wrap my head around the entire story, so I might watch the movie when it comes out on video.
Appropriately yesterday I had Bruce Springsteen's Oscar nominated (but losing) song The Wrestler stuck in my head. I think it fits me perfectly. There is something profoundly sad about the song, whether it is the lyrics or the melody, or their combination.
Last night was a long night at work. 3 weeks off was probably a week and a half too long. I must have looked and wondered at the clock more than any other night.
The wind was cold this morning, the sun was slowly rising as an orange pumpkin might out of the ground in autumn and the snow was new like spilt sugar.
Right now Big Bang Theory is making me laugh, as it usually does.
Take care.
john.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OSvJvSwmd4
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
"I get my sessions on the phone, I'm gonna take my pills, spend my nights alone, when I find myself the real thing I go home........"
1:15 pm
Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKgYVj1yNhI
Sessions by Counting Crows
The song above is a bonus track from Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings. I am so glad someone finally put it on Youtube, I really dig it.
My laptop is still not working. The snow like this sucks. I am not impressed with the additional snow over the last day or so.
I had fun last night heading out with the boys and having some beverages. I am slightly hungover though and have to go back to work tonight.
I should really write something but it seems like it will not accomplish anything. So the words disappear and the beauty escapes. Another man always occupies her heart and her love waits. I am a train without an arrival board or a passenger list. A light in the tunnel.
john.
Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKgYVj1yNhI
Sessions by Counting Crows
The song above is a bonus track from Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings. I am so glad someone finally put it on Youtube, I really dig it.
My laptop is still not working. The snow like this sucks. I am not impressed with the additional snow over the last day or so.
I had fun last night heading out with the boys and having some beverages. I am slightly hungover though and have to go back to work tonight.
I should really write something but it seems like it will not accomplish anything. So the words disappear and the beauty escapes. Another man always occupies her heart and her love waits. I am a train without an arrival board or a passenger list. A light in the tunnel.
john.
Friday, February 20, 2009
"Providence blinked, facing the sun, where are we left to carry on, until the day is done..."
4:30 pm
Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH8Umb7WBFw
Until The Day is Done by R.E.M.
Like millions of Canadians I watched Barack Obama's visit to Canada yesterday with great interest. There was certainly no shortage of media coverage in this country. The CBC aired pretty much every moment of movement by the U.S. President. Meanwhile back in his country, there were the occasional clips on their major news networks but without the intensity of the Canadian media. The reality of Canada, like we Canadians know, is that we don't interest Americans very much. We are like distant cousins and other estranged family members. Occasionally thought of but not for long.
I think this is perfect for Canadians because actually being fawned upon by Americans would be seen as a sin.
I actually thought Stephen Harper represented our country rather well. I am not a fan of his politics and will vote for the Liberals led by Michael Ignatieff in the next election. Harper looked and even sounded less arrogant than he has in the past. I think the near defeat of his government has humbled him but I still don't think he can be trusted. I even liked how he took jabs at the American banking and health care system.
"And there was no sunlight, no sunlight. Anymore... It disappeared with the same speed. With idealistic timing the optimist died inside of me..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn8RLtmTbNM
No Sunlight by Death Cab For Cutie (interview + song)
The weather has turned cold again and winter is back as it was before. There has been little sunlight this week and it is depressing. I will be happy to go back to work Sunday after 3 weeks off and I can sleep through the depressing day.
I also think the optimist in me has died. I expect the worst and see it in me. It doesn't mean I won't fight it, it just means I am not hopeful. I am like William H. Macy in the Cooler.
I am trying to finish The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls today. The story of her youth is remarkable in its extremes.
john.
Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH8Umb7WBFw
Until The Day is Done by R.E.M.
Like millions of Canadians I watched Barack Obama's visit to Canada yesterday with great interest. There was certainly no shortage of media coverage in this country. The CBC aired pretty much every moment of movement by the U.S. President. Meanwhile back in his country, there were the occasional clips on their major news networks but without the intensity of the Canadian media. The reality of Canada, like we Canadians know, is that we don't interest Americans very much. We are like distant cousins and other estranged family members. Occasionally thought of but not for long.
I think this is perfect for Canadians because actually being fawned upon by Americans would be seen as a sin.
I actually thought Stephen Harper represented our country rather well. I am not a fan of his politics and will vote for the Liberals led by Michael Ignatieff in the next election. Harper looked and even sounded less arrogant than he has in the past. I think the near defeat of his government has humbled him but I still don't think he can be trusted. I even liked how he took jabs at the American banking and health care system.
"And there was no sunlight, no sunlight. Anymore... It disappeared with the same speed. With idealistic timing the optimist died inside of me..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn8RLtmTbNM
No Sunlight by Death Cab For Cutie (interview + song)
The weather has turned cold again and winter is back as it was before. There has been little sunlight this week and it is depressing. I will be happy to go back to work Sunday after 3 weeks off and I can sleep through the depressing day.
I also think the optimist in me has died. I expect the worst and see it in me. It doesn't mean I won't fight it, it just means I am not hopeful. I am like William H. Macy in the Cooler.
I am trying to finish The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls today. The story of her youth is remarkable in its extremes.
john.
Monday, February 16, 2009
"Waiting here for you, wanting to tell you, how I find myself slowly disappearing too, just the way you do.........."
My laptop is not working and it is where I do all my writing. I find it nearly impossible to write meaningful words anywhere else. I do have a black book where I jot down random images and ideas but never anything complete. I guess until it starts working again or I buy a new one, my creativity is going to be seriously limited.
I guess I missed commenting on Friday the 13th and the contrasting Valentine's Day following it. My love life has and probably always will be more like the supposed bad luck of a Friday the 13th. I chose not to commiserate about it anymore and I am getting used to the idea of having a solitary heart. This does not mean I will not write about needing love, when I return to writing.
High Life (below) always amazes me, it is yearning at its poetic and musical best.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSZEzLyaSjA (live 4/16/08 Kansas)
With the expect of Saturday I have had a pretty busy couple of days. I visited my grandparents for dinner Friday, mostly read Saturday, went to my niece's birthday party yesterday and then hung out with the boys last night. I went out for breakfast (well it was after noon) today with a couple of friends. It was good to eat especially considering I felt like crap, happy Family Day hangover.
Below is part 3 of the Counting Crows experience, less music in this one and more talking. A little bit of A Long December at the beginning and Goodnight Elisabeth at the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YUDhko5j9c
Since I last wrote, I finished reading Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky, a truly remarkable tribute to an equally remarkable woman. There is going to be an exhibition and memorial to her at the Museum of Jewish Heritage in New York later this year. More information about this is below.
http://www.mjhnyc.org/irene/index.html
I also finished reading A Student of Weather by Elizabeth Hay, which like Late Nights on Air was a very good read. I enjoy her characters, her landscapes and especially her Canadianism.
The following is from A Student of Weather.
"Luck. This was the time, the 1930's, when superstition embroidered every mind, when knitting needles of worry clicked inside every skull. Taboos were many and urgent: Never boast and never overpraise or you'll draw down the jealous evil eye. Never predict a good crop. Never predict good weather. Never predict happiness of any kind. Always hedge your bets. Throw salt over your left shoulder if ever you spill any. Wait for somebody else to come along and take the bad luck if a black cat crosses your path. Never fall asleep with the full moon on your face. Turn the lucky coin in your pocket at the first sight of the new moon. Wear a red ribbon to ward off the evil eye."
"Round here something radiates......"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bn2ozlSp8A (live 04/15/08 Iowa)
It usually isn't me but it doesn't mean I can't see you when you do.
"And mornings spreading out across the feathered thighs of angels..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqUe7nDLuMg
Such a sexy image.
"Buy me a flute and a gun that shoots, tailgates and substitutes, strap yourself to the tree with roots, you ain't goin' nowhere..."
With Hootie and the Blowfish doing Dylan's You Ain't Goin' Nowhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YkJ4HBfHv8
I love when they play this cover and Hottie gives it a little more soul.
"She comes out of closets every night and then locks herself away....."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_paUs8m7_w (American Girls acoustic 2007)
Isn't this always the way with the beautiful girls.
I will always admire the way Counting Crows have the courage and ability to alter their songs for different venues and festivals like a bluegrass festival.
"It's 4:30 am on a Tuesday. It doesn't get much worse than this."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xTsHvWRAKQ
Not quite, but there is a dead man trying to find a way to live.
jr.
I guess I missed commenting on Friday the 13th and the contrasting Valentine's Day following it. My love life has and probably always will be more like the supposed bad luck of a Friday the 13th. I chose not to commiserate about it anymore and I am getting used to the idea of having a solitary heart. This does not mean I will not write about needing love, when I return to writing.
High Life (below) always amazes me, it is yearning at its poetic and musical best.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSZEzLyaSjA (live 4/16/08 Kansas)
With the expect of Saturday I have had a pretty busy couple of days. I visited my grandparents for dinner Friday, mostly read Saturday, went to my niece's birthday party yesterday and then hung out with the boys last night. I went out for breakfast (well it was after noon) today with a couple of friends. It was good to eat especially considering I felt like crap, happy Family Day hangover.
Below is part 3 of the Counting Crows experience, less music in this one and more talking. A little bit of A Long December at the beginning and Goodnight Elisabeth at the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YUDhko5j9c
Since I last wrote, I finished reading Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky, a truly remarkable tribute to an equally remarkable woman. There is going to be an exhibition and memorial to her at the Museum of Jewish Heritage in New York later this year. More information about this is below.
http://www.mjhnyc.org/irene/index.html
I also finished reading A Student of Weather by Elizabeth Hay, which like Late Nights on Air was a very good read. I enjoy her characters, her landscapes and especially her Canadianism.
The following is from A Student of Weather.
"Luck. This was the time, the 1930's, when superstition embroidered every mind, when knitting needles of worry clicked inside every skull. Taboos were many and urgent: Never boast and never overpraise or you'll draw down the jealous evil eye. Never predict a good crop. Never predict good weather. Never predict happiness of any kind. Always hedge your bets. Throw salt over your left shoulder if ever you spill any. Wait for somebody else to come along and take the bad luck if a black cat crosses your path. Never fall asleep with the full moon on your face. Turn the lucky coin in your pocket at the first sight of the new moon. Wear a red ribbon to ward off the evil eye."
"Round here something radiates......"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bn2ozlSp8A (live 04/15/08 Iowa)
It usually isn't me but it doesn't mean I can't see you when you do.
"And mornings spreading out across the feathered thighs of angels..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqUe7nDLuMg
Such a sexy image.
"Buy me a flute and a gun that shoots, tailgates and substitutes, strap yourself to the tree with roots, you ain't goin' nowhere..."
With Hootie and the Blowfish doing Dylan's You Ain't Goin' Nowhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YkJ4HBfHv8
I love when they play this cover and Hottie gives it a little more soul.
"She comes out of closets every night and then locks herself away....."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_paUs8m7_w (American Girls acoustic 2007)
Isn't this always the way with the beautiful girls.
I will always admire the way Counting Crows have the courage and ability to alter their songs for different venues and festivals like a bluegrass festival.
"It's 4:30 am on a Tuesday. It doesn't get much worse than this."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xTsHvWRAKQ
Not quite, but there is a dead man trying to find a way to live.
jr.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doin' here?.........."
8:15 pm
Home
The latest interview from Joaquin Phoenix has many people calling him a weirdo and a creep. Appearing on the Late Show with David Letterman, he seemed completely withdrawn and unable to string together an intelligent conversation. His lack of interest brought out the sarcasm in Letterman and he started to tell jokes at Phoenix's expense. I am a fan of Joaquin in movies but he has always seemed a little strange to me. If he didn't want to be on the show he should have just cancelled. Letterman is not the type of person to take lightly such an obvious show of disinterest at being a guest on his show. The clip is below, it is both awkward and funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVg-c9P2CKc
Check it out quickly because CBS is taking down the clips at an alarming rate.
"They say love is hell, but I've only been laughin' ever since I fell, it's only gonna make me love you more......."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25Cg8yKdX44
Gonna Make You Love Me by Ryan Adams
Well apparently Mr. Adams has made Mandy Moore love him more. It was announced today by Moore's people that the couple are engaged. This is one celebrity arrangements that I hope works. Adams is very cool and Mandy seems like a genuinely nice person.
I really don't have much more to write about. I was watching the Leafs getting killed but they have made the game close now. They are frustrating to watch, especially if you bet them or against them. I took them to lose, but it is Tampa Bay.
My day was mostly uneventful but I did have a good conversation with an old friend.
I need some popcorn.
john.
Creep by Radiohead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxpblnsJEWM
Home
The latest interview from Joaquin Phoenix has many people calling him a weirdo and a creep. Appearing on the Late Show with David Letterman, he seemed completely withdrawn and unable to string together an intelligent conversation. His lack of interest brought out the sarcasm in Letterman and he started to tell jokes at Phoenix's expense. I am a fan of Joaquin in movies but he has always seemed a little strange to me. If he didn't want to be on the show he should have just cancelled. Letterman is not the type of person to take lightly such an obvious show of disinterest at being a guest on his show. The clip is below, it is both awkward and funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVg-c9P2CKc
Check it out quickly because CBS is taking down the clips at an alarming rate.
"They say love is hell, but I've only been laughin' ever since I fell, it's only gonna make me love you more......."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25Cg8yKdX44
Gonna Make You Love Me by Ryan Adams
Well apparently Mr. Adams has made Mandy Moore love him more. It was announced today by Moore's people that the couple are engaged. This is one celebrity arrangements that I hope works. Adams is very cool and Mandy seems like a genuinely nice person.
I really don't have much more to write about. I was watching the Leafs getting killed but they have made the game close now. They are frustrating to watch, especially if you bet them or against them. I took them to lose, but it is Tampa Bay.
My day was mostly uneventful but I did have a good conversation with an old friend.
I need some popcorn.
john.
Creep by Radiohead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxpblnsJEWM
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
"I felt my heart strings unravel as it started to rain..."
8:10 PM
Home (not in bed)
It started raining last night and it basically has not stopped. I can still hear it knocking outside my bedroom window. I found it rather peaceful for a February day. Almost all of our snow is gone and it was a lot of snow. Unfortunately winter is not over.
I wrote the following this afternoon, sitting in the usual tea shop and seeing most of the usual people. The two songs below aided in the finishing of the piece.
"Something about a southern girl, make me feel right in a Mississippi morning, she's angel in flight, in a blink of an eye she'll be out of your sight...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slUIDNUnbO4
Southern Girl by Amos Lee
"I never thought this could happen but somehow the feeling is gone, you got sick of the patterns and I got lost in this song..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfpN3n8lR0
Hasn't Hit Me Yet by Blue Rodeo
Real Misery and Suffering
The February rain falls rather peacefully
I find its muddy puddles mildly attractive
Even as they grow and splash everything
These windows are always dirty or dusty
I have looked through them for too long
Public places draw us in and spit us out
The people become annoying and trying
Burdening us with their trivial presence
Until our personal space no longer exists
They have managed to invade it wholly
Insects at a picnic spoiling the splendour
I am a creature of habit and come back
Almost everyday to drink my green tea
Ignoring them behind novels and music
Occasionally putting thoughts to poems
Finding women to romanticize for hours
Their unique beauty transposed poetically
Often in failing comparisons and images
I have never dared to dream about reality
My nightly sleeplessness does this for me
Another morning finds me alone but alive
Surprised to be breathing and not choking
Afraid of my ever lasting mirror reflection
The self perceived horrors never departing
I carry them around like a wallet photograph
Pictures are reminders of the people we were
They never show us as we might or will be
Our imaginations age us in bizarre outlines
Freaks of the circus without a big top tent
Elephants getting more notice and offerings
Their wrinkled trunk being petted lovingly
Time has made them friendly and accepted
Whereas I appear unfriendly and rejected
Aloofness doing what it can do to protect
What is left of my ever fleeting confidence
I could be so much more than broken down
A freight train abandoned in the Prairie dust
When there was really a depressed economy
Drought only adding to the misery of people
Small pebbles finding their way into bread
No one daring to whine about their presence
There are lessons in real misery and suffering
I should be so much smarter than this hurt
The damage has been done and might last
Undoing it will take a lot more inner strength
A man I have never been or have even seen
Though February rain has brought me peace
Well Amos sings about a southern girl’s face
There are worse realities to find yourself in
Even if beauty has not hit me yet this year
I will stand transfixed by it should it arrive
Fog high in the sky on a February afternoon.
02/11/09
"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio, our nation turns it's lonely eyes to you...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfkb4qLIQ7k
Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel
Baseball probably wishes Joe DiMaggio was still alive to save the game with his class and skill. The bizarre world of current and former player revelations just got a little crazier today. There is a claim that former Toronto Blue Jay and 2010 potential Hall of Fame nominee Roberto Alomar has full blown AIDS. The New York Daily News received information about a lawsuit against Alomar by an ex-girlfriend claiming he was HIV positive and forced her to have unprotected sex with him. I must say this rather shocked me but it would explain Alomar's quick decline of play. He retired in 2005 stating health issues. Growing up in Canada during the early 1990's when the Blue Jays were winning, Alomar was naturally my favourite player. His all around skills were unmatched and he was exciting to watch. His personal actions have always hurt his public image but on the field he was magical. I certainly hope the report is not true and next year Alomar becomes the first player to enter the Hall of Fame wearing a Blue Jays hat. The New York Daily News article is below.
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/10/2009-02-10_15m_lawsuit_claims_exmet_roberto_alomar_.html
"It was in Bobcaygeon where I saw the constellations reveal themselves one star at a time........"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggm8U-CtaKs
Bobcaygeon by The Tragically Hip
From A Student of Weather by Elizabeth Hay.
"So this was Ontario. These big brick houses. These rows of fine, stable, red-bricked houses shaded by trees tossing their golden leaves on ground already blessed with flowers and hedges and lawns, the flowers like small trumpets or curly wigs, the hedges as tough as old lace, the lawns as warm in the sun as an old dog."
I hope you enjoy the rain as much as I do.
jr.
It Started To Rain by Amos Lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpcJA6POKvA
Home (not in bed)
It started raining last night and it basically has not stopped. I can still hear it knocking outside my bedroom window. I found it rather peaceful for a February day. Almost all of our snow is gone and it was a lot of snow. Unfortunately winter is not over.
I wrote the following this afternoon, sitting in the usual tea shop and seeing most of the usual people. The two songs below aided in the finishing of the piece.
"Something about a southern girl, make me feel right in a Mississippi morning, she's angel in flight, in a blink of an eye she'll be out of your sight...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slUIDNUnbO4
Southern Girl by Amos Lee
"I never thought this could happen but somehow the feeling is gone, you got sick of the patterns and I got lost in this song..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfpN3n8lR0
Hasn't Hit Me Yet by Blue Rodeo
Real Misery and Suffering
The February rain falls rather peacefully
I find its muddy puddles mildly attractive
Even as they grow and splash everything
These windows are always dirty or dusty
I have looked through them for too long
Public places draw us in and spit us out
The people become annoying and trying
Burdening us with their trivial presence
Until our personal space no longer exists
They have managed to invade it wholly
Insects at a picnic spoiling the splendour
I am a creature of habit and come back
Almost everyday to drink my green tea
Ignoring them behind novels and music
Occasionally putting thoughts to poems
Finding women to romanticize for hours
Their unique beauty transposed poetically
Often in failing comparisons and images
I have never dared to dream about reality
My nightly sleeplessness does this for me
Another morning finds me alone but alive
Surprised to be breathing and not choking
Afraid of my ever lasting mirror reflection
The self perceived horrors never departing
I carry them around like a wallet photograph
Pictures are reminders of the people we were
They never show us as we might or will be
Our imaginations age us in bizarre outlines
Freaks of the circus without a big top tent
Elephants getting more notice and offerings
Their wrinkled trunk being petted lovingly
Time has made them friendly and accepted
Whereas I appear unfriendly and rejected
Aloofness doing what it can do to protect
What is left of my ever fleeting confidence
I could be so much more than broken down
A freight train abandoned in the Prairie dust
When there was really a depressed economy
Drought only adding to the misery of people
Small pebbles finding their way into bread
No one daring to whine about their presence
There are lessons in real misery and suffering
I should be so much smarter than this hurt
The damage has been done and might last
Undoing it will take a lot more inner strength
A man I have never been or have even seen
Though February rain has brought me peace
Well Amos sings about a southern girl’s face
There are worse realities to find yourself in
Even if beauty has not hit me yet this year
I will stand transfixed by it should it arrive
Fog high in the sky on a February afternoon.
02/11/09
"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio, our nation turns it's lonely eyes to you...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfkb4qLIQ7k
Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel
Baseball probably wishes Joe DiMaggio was still alive to save the game with his class and skill. The bizarre world of current and former player revelations just got a little crazier today. There is a claim that former Toronto Blue Jay and 2010 potential Hall of Fame nominee Roberto Alomar has full blown AIDS. The New York Daily News received information about a lawsuit against Alomar by an ex-girlfriend claiming he was HIV positive and forced her to have unprotected sex with him. I must say this rather shocked me but it would explain Alomar's quick decline of play. He retired in 2005 stating health issues. Growing up in Canada during the early 1990's when the Blue Jays were winning, Alomar was naturally my favourite player. His all around skills were unmatched and he was exciting to watch. His personal actions have always hurt his public image but on the field he was magical. I certainly hope the report is not true and next year Alomar becomes the first player to enter the Hall of Fame wearing a Blue Jays hat. The New York Daily News article is below.
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/10/2009-02-10_15m_lawsuit_claims_exmet_roberto_alomar_.html
"It was in Bobcaygeon where I saw the constellations reveal themselves one star at a time........"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggm8U-CtaKs
Bobcaygeon by The Tragically Hip
From A Student of Weather by Elizabeth Hay.
"So this was Ontario. These big brick houses. These rows of fine, stable, red-bricked houses shaded by trees tossing their golden leaves on ground already blessed with flowers and hedges and lawns, the flowers like small trumpets or curly wigs, the hedges as tough as old lace, the lawns as warm in the sun as an old dog."
I hope you enjoy the rain as much as I do.
jr.
It Started To Rain by Amos Lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpcJA6POKvA
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
"And we don't care about the young folks talking about the young style, and we don't care about the old folks talking about the old style..........."
7:00 PM
Home (sitting in bed)
Below is a clip of The Von Bondies performing Pale Bride last night on The Late Show With David Letterman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qgi3gGxiQ4
Below is a clip of the 2005 Emmy Awards tribute to Johnny Carson as introduced by David Letterman, a rare appearance for him at an awards show.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oUydHL_q2k&feature=PlayList&p=1CBD39FA397661A3&playnext=1&index=70
I woke up this morning with a bad headache and it hasn't dissipated. I also received some potentially bad news concerning an elderly family member. Time is a realist's greatest enemy.
"Make a circle in the sand, make a halo with your hand, I'll make a place for you to land........"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTXyC3blapk
Above is the first part of a five part interview with Counting Crows by a very young girl shot September 21, 2008 in Seattle. Besides the interviews with various band members this clip includes live video of Miami, Richard Manuel is Dead and Omaha.
"It's nothing but time and a face that you lose, I chose to feel it and you couldn't chose, I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news from a house down the road from real love..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4v8FJhQ-teE
Your Ex-Lover is Dead by Stars
I wrote the following this afternoon. It is about how life always happens too soon, even if it seems like we have been waiting for it to happen all our life.
Always Too Soon
She had orange hair like a future moody cat
My hair was dark and shabby unlike it is now
We used to walk to and from school together
Through every category of Canadian weather
She was my very first childhood female friend
I remember her freckles but not her eye colour
They could have been blue or conceivably green
I am sure they were especially beautiful at seven
Under the fast moving clouds of a June afternoon
Where we licked purple popsicles and kissed lips
Before her family moved away to the west coast
Making my Quebec Street walks absolutely lonely
I have always preferred the company of females
Even as a young boy I was drawn to their games
Of course with age and the advancement of sex
Friendships became cluttered by physical needs
Territories were marked and lines were formed
All the dances inevitably ended with spilt tears
Boys are not supposed to understand or worry
When a girl’s heart is broken because of words
Simple sentences turning into complex emotions
Long before actions evolve and needs intensify
Always too soon we are forced into adulthood
Breasts quickly become desired and measured
The size common knowledge without consent
Daily smears are scribbled on bathroom stalls
Friends vandalizing the reputations of friends
Childhood drama and games within the sexes
There are no winners and innocence is erased
Love is absently exchanged for sexual pleasure
How quickly its vanity is learned and applied
Every guy becomes hated because he is a guy
The opposite parades very loudly behind them
Turning those polarizing girls into best friends
United by their campaign of hatred and scorn
Played out in the various theatres of society
Carefully scripted battles between the sexes
Young men and women on conflicting sides
Always too soon friendships are transformed
By the simple facts of our minds and bodies
Until they are too old to care or reciprocate
Silver haired, face wrinkled and weathered
Lined with knowledge previously impossible
How sad it is to have to make many amends
For being young and stupid but it happens
Like kindness, happiness and forgiveness.
02/10/09
"Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xza1zYM4ibA
Above is the second part of the Counting Crows experience. Along with more interview questions and answers is the song Anna Begins and a cover of Cecila performed with Augustana.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL5tP9M9shc
Yesterday in the clip above Alex Rodriguez admitted to using performance enhancing substances from 2001-2003. He had to come clean, there are too many legal issues for him to lie like Clemens, McGwire, Sosa and Bonds. The fallout of Rodriguez's admittance will be steep and baseball has been set back 10 years or more in terms of fan trust. Tomorrow Miguel Tejada of the Houston Astros is expected to admit guilty to lying to Congress in 2003 about his steriod use. I have a feeling Tejada will not be the last star of baseball to admit their guilt. Alex Rodriguez's excuse was that he was young and stupid, such an easy excuse but it could very possibly be the only real excuse.
john
Young Folks by Peter, Bjorn and John
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51V1VMkuyx0 (9 million + views)
Home (sitting in bed)
Below is a clip of The Von Bondies performing Pale Bride last night on The Late Show With David Letterman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qgi3gGxiQ4
Below is a clip of the 2005 Emmy Awards tribute to Johnny Carson as introduced by David Letterman, a rare appearance for him at an awards show.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oUydHL_q2k&feature=PlayList&p=1CBD39FA397661A3&playnext=1&index=70
I woke up this morning with a bad headache and it hasn't dissipated. I also received some potentially bad news concerning an elderly family member. Time is a realist's greatest enemy.
"Make a circle in the sand, make a halo with your hand, I'll make a place for you to land........"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTXyC3blapk
Above is the first part of a five part interview with Counting Crows by a very young girl shot September 21, 2008 in Seattle. Besides the interviews with various band members this clip includes live video of Miami, Richard Manuel is Dead and Omaha.
"It's nothing but time and a face that you lose, I chose to feel it and you couldn't chose, I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news from a house down the road from real love..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4v8FJhQ-teE
Your Ex-Lover is Dead by Stars
I wrote the following this afternoon. It is about how life always happens too soon, even if it seems like we have been waiting for it to happen all our life.
Always Too Soon
She had orange hair like a future moody cat
My hair was dark and shabby unlike it is now
We used to walk to and from school together
Through every category of Canadian weather
She was my very first childhood female friend
I remember her freckles but not her eye colour
They could have been blue or conceivably green
I am sure they were especially beautiful at seven
Under the fast moving clouds of a June afternoon
Where we licked purple popsicles and kissed lips
Before her family moved away to the west coast
Making my Quebec Street walks absolutely lonely
I have always preferred the company of females
Even as a young boy I was drawn to their games
Of course with age and the advancement of sex
Friendships became cluttered by physical needs
Territories were marked and lines were formed
All the dances inevitably ended with spilt tears
Boys are not supposed to understand or worry
When a girl’s heart is broken because of words
Simple sentences turning into complex emotions
Long before actions evolve and needs intensify
Always too soon we are forced into adulthood
Breasts quickly become desired and measured
The size common knowledge without consent
Daily smears are scribbled on bathroom stalls
Friends vandalizing the reputations of friends
Childhood drama and games within the sexes
There are no winners and innocence is erased
Love is absently exchanged for sexual pleasure
How quickly its vanity is learned and applied
Every guy becomes hated because he is a guy
The opposite parades very loudly behind them
Turning those polarizing girls into best friends
United by their campaign of hatred and scorn
Played out in the various theatres of society
Carefully scripted battles between the sexes
Young men and women on conflicting sides
Always too soon friendships are transformed
By the simple facts of our minds and bodies
Until they are too old to care or reciprocate
Silver haired, face wrinkled and weathered
Lined with knowledge previously impossible
How sad it is to have to make many amends
For being young and stupid but it happens
Like kindness, happiness and forgiveness.
02/10/09
"Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xza1zYM4ibA
Above is the second part of the Counting Crows experience. Along with more interview questions and answers is the song Anna Begins and a cover of Cecila performed with Augustana.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL5tP9M9shc
Yesterday in the clip above Alex Rodriguez admitted to using performance enhancing substances from 2001-2003. He had to come clean, there are too many legal issues for him to lie like Clemens, McGwire, Sosa and Bonds. The fallout of Rodriguez's admittance will be steep and baseball has been set back 10 years or more in terms of fan trust. Tomorrow Miguel Tejada of the Houston Astros is expected to admit guilty to lying to Congress in 2003 about his steriod use. I have a feeling Tejada will not be the last star of baseball to admit their guilt. Alex Rodriguez's excuse was that he was young and stupid, such an easy excuse but it could very possibly be the only real excuse.
john
Young Folks by Peter, Bjorn and John
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51V1VMkuyx0 (9 million + views)
Monday, February 9, 2009
"Just because I'm hurting, doesn't mean I'm hurt, doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserved, no better or worse...."
11:55 am
Starbucks
Dundas and Richmond
I watched the Grammy's until 10:30 last night. What I saw was mostly disappointing. I do not like U2's new single Get Your Boots On, which they opened the show with. Bono should become American and quit referring to his band as an Irish band. They are no longer an Irish band, they sing about America and actually seem obsessed with being American. Their last album All That You Can't Leave Behind showed some promise with songs like Kite, Walk On and Beautiful Day. I thought it was more of a return to what made U2 brilliant on the Joshua Tree and Achtung Baby. Bono seems like he would rather be a preacher than a singer. I thought Coldplay should have played the entire version of Lost, and it would it would have sounded great following Jay-Z's great rap. Instead they jumped into a circus like and lost in the jungle version of Viva La Vida. It was nice to see the outpouring of love for Jennifer Hudson but I don't like her music. Along with her and Coldplay, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss were the big winners. I don't and don't want to understand the grammy categories, they all seem a bit repetitive. A lifetime achievement award gets a mere mention, how pathetic this seems, if you are going to give someone like Gene Autry or Dean Martin a lifetime achievement award, do it with class. They are legends and deserve a few minutes of praise, even if they are dead. Maybe everyone was too busy kissing Paul McCartney's bony old ass. I thought Radiohead was excellent like they usually are performing 15 Step from In Rainbows. A final observation about Justin Timberlake, is he no longer trying to be an actor and instead trying to be a black soul singer. Next he will be rapping on stage with Joaquin Phoenix.
"We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before long we fell in love..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFfGFQZEarc
I Saw Her Standing There by Paul McCartney with Dave Grohl (Grammy's 2009)
I did enjoy Paul McCartney's performance of the Beatles classic I Saw Her Standing There with Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters on drums. It will always seem like a bit of a fraud that McCartney is able to glow in the praise of being an ex-Beatle while John remains dead.
"She's been running half her life, the crome and steel she rides collides with the very air she breathes, the air she breathes...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aBhWDpUEik
Unknown Legend by Neil Young (live Germany August 2008)
Yesterday afternoon I watched Rachel Gettin Married, mostly to see Anne Hathaway's Oscar nominated performance. She is pretty good as an emotionally damaged, drained and recovering drug addict who is getting out of rehab to attend her sister's wedding. The movie is very emotionally raw, moving from family tenderness to family hatred in the middle of a conversation. I like Hathaway when she takes on serious roles, as in Havoc and this one. She manages to maintain her beauty despite the ugliness and pain of her charcter. Information about the movie is below. During the marriage vows Rachel's soon to be husband Sidney quotes and sings part of Neil Young's Unknown Legend, this of course made me smile.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1084950/
I think I might actually now have 10 books on the go. This is horrible. I really need to finish some of them, instead of starting new ones. The two most recent books I have started reading are A Student of Weather by Elizabeth Hays, because Late Nights on Air was so good, and The Line of Beauty by Alan Hollinghurst.
For fans of the Von Bondies, they are music guests on Mr. Letterman's show tonight to promote their very solid album Love, Hate and Then There's You. Their next tour date following the Letterman show is here in London, Ontario February 12 at Call The Office. There might be tickets still available.
I need to get a haircut.
john.
Lost (acoustic with Jay-Z) & Viva La Vida by Coldplay (Live Grammy's 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmonR2McV5Y
Starbucks
Dundas and Richmond
I watched the Grammy's until 10:30 last night. What I saw was mostly disappointing. I do not like U2's new single Get Your Boots On, which they opened the show with. Bono should become American and quit referring to his band as an Irish band. They are no longer an Irish band, they sing about America and actually seem obsessed with being American. Their last album All That You Can't Leave Behind showed some promise with songs like Kite, Walk On and Beautiful Day. I thought it was more of a return to what made U2 brilliant on the Joshua Tree and Achtung Baby. Bono seems like he would rather be a preacher than a singer. I thought Coldplay should have played the entire version of Lost, and it would it would have sounded great following Jay-Z's great rap. Instead they jumped into a circus like and lost in the jungle version of Viva La Vida. It was nice to see the outpouring of love for Jennifer Hudson but I don't like her music. Along with her and Coldplay, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss were the big winners. I don't and don't want to understand the grammy categories, they all seem a bit repetitive. A lifetime achievement award gets a mere mention, how pathetic this seems, if you are going to give someone like Gene Autry or Dean Martin a lifetime achievement award, do it with class. They are legends and deserve a few minutes of praise, even if they are dead. Maybe everyone was too busy kissing Paul McCartney's bony old ass. I thought Radiohead was excellent like they usually are performing 15 Step from In Rainbows. A final observation about Justin Timberlake, is he no longer trying to be an actor and instead trying to be a black soul singer. Next he will be rapping on stage with Joaquin Phoenix.
"We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before long we fell in love..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFfGFQZEarc
I Saw Her Standing There by Paul McCartney with Dave Grohl (Grammy's 2009)
I did enjoy Paul McCartney's performance of the Beatles classic I Saw Her Standing There with Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters on drums. It will always seem like a bit of a fraud that McCartney is able to glow in the praise of being an ex-Beatle while John remains dead.
"She's been running half her life, the crome and steel she rides collides with the very air she breathes, the air she breathes...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aBhWDpUEik
Unknown Legend by Neil Young (live Germany August 2008)
Yesterday afternoon I watched Rachel Gettin Married, mostly to see Anne Hathaway's Oscar nominated performance. She is pretty good as an emotionally damaged, drained and recovering drug addict who is getting out of rehab to attend her sister's wedding. The movie is very emotionally raw, moving from family tenderness to family hatred in the middle of a conversation. I like Hathaway when she takes on serious roles, as in Havoc and this one. She manages to maintain her beauty despite the ugliness and pain of her charcter. Information about the movie is below. During the marriage vows Rachel's soon to be husband Sidney quotes and sings part of Neil Young's Unknown Legend, this of course made me smile.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1084950/
I think I might actually now have 10 books on the go. This is horrible. I really need to finish some of them, instead of starting new ones. The two most recent books I have started reading are A Student of Weather by Elizabeth Hays, because Late Nights on Air was so good, and The Line of Beauty by Alan Hollinghurst.
For fans of the Von Bondies, they are music guests on Mr. Letterman's show tonight to promote their very solid album Love, Hate and Then There's You. Their next tour date following the Letterman show is here in London, Ontario February 12 at Call The Office. There might be tickets still available.
I need to get a haircut.
john.
Lost (acoustic with Jay-Z) & Viva La Vida by Coldplay (Live Grammy's 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmonR2McV5Y
Sunday, February 8, 2009
"Can I kiss you and make you a queen, or something in between?......."
9:50 am
Starbucks
Dundas and Richmond
Another week is nearly over and below is another countdown.
Today my niece turns 10. She will always be the best birthday present of my life, even if she was a day late arriving.
Top 25 listened to this year according to my iTunes player
1. Twenty Years by Augustana (1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kkX38QTG7I
2. Heart of Gold by Neil Young (4)
3. Elephant by Damien Rice (7)
4. Kathleen by Josh Ritter (2)
5. Thank You by The Redwalls (5)
6. After Hours by We Are Scientists (20)
7. Always by Peter Bradley Adams (11)
8. Sweet and Low by Augustana (-)
9. Body in a Box by City and Colour (14)
10. A Long December by Counting Crows (17)
11. Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine (12)
12. Autumn Walker by Jets To Brazil (6)
13. End of the Empire by Sam Roberts (9)
14. A Falling Through by Ray LaMontagne (10)
15. Golden by My Morning Jacket (3)
16. Tears and Rain by James Blunt (19)
17. Flyin' by Emerson Hart (-)
18. Long Division by Death Cab For Cutie (-)
19. Michelle by The Beatles (-)
20. Hey Jude by The Beatles (-)
21. 1 2 3 4 by Feist (8)
22. Jealous Guy by John Lennon (-)
23. Human by The Killers (24)
24. I'm Amazed by My Morning Jacket (23)
25. You Are My Face by Wilco (-)
"Say it ain't so, your drug is a heartbreaker....."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0V6NQJOJQk
Say It Ain't So by Weezer (Letterman 1995)
(I thought it was funny when Dave introduced them as a peppy, power pop quartet and went onto say he wasn't afraid of them. The clip above doesn't include the introduction, there is another clip that does but the audio quality isn't as good as the clip above.)
The big news in the sporting world is that apparently in 2003 Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees tested positive for steroids while playing for the Texas Rangers. Rodriguez who has 553 career home runs seemed to avoid the steroid allegations which have followed around other prominent sluggers, in particularly McGwire, Sosa and Bonds. Bonds, the career home run leader with 762 will most likely be convicted of using steroids or some other illegal activity in regards to them. Baseball had hoped that the disgrace of its home run champion wouldn't be on the public's mind for long and Rodriguez would save the game with another 210 home runs. Now should A-Rod break Bonds home run record like it seems he is destined to do, it like Bond's own breaking of Aaron's record will be tainted. I am a big fan of baseball but have never embraced A-Rod because of his inability to perform in clutch and his personality. But had always thought he was clean or we would know it, now apparently we know it. It is too bad baseball has let all its heroes become cheaters, and for this the blame lies squarely at the feet of commissioner Bud Selig, who should be relieved of his duties. Baseball needs fresh leadership and all its players should be tested prior to the season, during the all-star break and after the season. Only then will its fans begin to trust the sacred statistics of America's game. Great and honest players like Albert Pujols shouldn't be stigmatized by cheaters like Bonds and now apparently Rodriguez. The story is below.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/08/sports/baseball/08arod.html?_r=1&ref=sports
"I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see, painted faces fill the spaces I can't reach, you know that I could use somebody...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1HXVlqexz4
Use Somebody by Kings of Leon (live)
We could all use somebody and I can't seem to get the song above out of my head.
Time to do some reading.
Have a good Sunday afternoon. A Sunday where I didn't need to wear a toque but spring is still weeks away.
jr.
Starbucks
Dundas and Richmond
Another week is nearly over and below is another countdown.
Today my niece turns 10. She will always be the best birthday present of my life, even if she was a day late arriving.
Top 25 listened to this year according to my iTunes player
1. Twenty Years by Augustana (1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kkX38QTG7I
2. Heart of Gold by Neil Young (4)
3. Elephant by Damien Rice (7)
4. Kathleen by Josh Ritter (2)
5. Thank You by The Redwalls (5)
6. After Hours by We Are Scientists (20)
7. Always by Peter Bradley Adams (11)
8. Sweet and Low by Augustana (-)
9. Body in a Box by City and Colour (14)
10. A Long December by Counting Crows (17)
11. Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine (12)
12. Autumn Walker by Jets To Brazil (6)
13. End of the Empire by Sam Roberts (9)
14. A Falling Through by Ray LaMontagne (10)
15. Golden by My Morning Jacket (3)
16. Tears and Rain by James Blunt (19)
17. Flyin' by Emerson Hart (-)
18. Long Division by Death Cab For Cutie (-)
19. Michelle by The Beatles (-)
20. Hey Jude by The Beatles (-)
21. 1 2 3 4 by Feist (8)
22. Jealous Guy by John Lennon (-)
23. Human by The Killers (24)
24. I'm Amazed by My Morning Jacket (23)
25. You Are My Face by Wilco (-)
"Say it ain't so, your drug is a heartbreaker....."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0V6NQJOJQk
Say It Ain't So by Weezer (Letterman 1995)
(I thought it was funny when Dave introduced them as a peppy, power pop quartet and went onto say he wasn't afraid of them. The clip above doesn't include the introduction, there is another clip that does but the audio quality isn't as good as the clip above.)
The big news in the sporting world is that apparently in 2003 Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees tested positive for steroids while playing for the Texas Rangers. Rodriguez who has 553 career home runs seemed to avoid the steroid allegations which have followed around other prominent sluggers, in particularly McGwire, Sosa and Bonds. Bonds, the career home run leader with 762 will most likely be convicted of using steroids or some other illegal activity in regards to them. Baseball had hoped that the disgrace of its home run champion wouldn't be on the public's mind for long and Rodriguez would save the game with another 210 home runs. Now should A-Rod break Bonds home run record like it seems he is destined to do, it like Bond's own breaking of Aaron's record will be tainted. I am a big fan of baseball but have never embraced A-Rod because of his inability to perform in clutch and his personality. But had always thought he was clean or we would know it, now apparently we know it. It is too bad baseball has let all its heroes become cheaters, and for this the blame lies squarely at the feet of commissioner Bud Selig, who should be relieved of his duties. Baseball needs fresh leadership and all its players should be tested prior to the season, during the all-star break and after the season. Only then will its fans begin to trust the sacred statistics of America's game. Great and honest players like Albert Pujols shouldn't be stigmatized by cheaters like Bonds and now apparently Rodriguez. The story is below.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/08/sports/baseball/08arod.html?_r=1&ref=sports
"I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see, painted faces fill the spaces I can't reach, you know that I could use somebody...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1HXVlqexz4
Use Somebody by Kings of Leon (live)
We could all use somebody and I can't seem to get the song above out of my head.
Time to do some reading.
Have a good Sunday afternoon. A Sunday where I didn't need to wear a toque but spring is still weeks away.
jr.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
"He had sworn not to be what he'd been before, to be the remain, remain, remain, remainder........"
4:45 pm
Home
"And the truth is, after a certain while, a certain age, it's too much trouble to make new friends, all that chat, the dinners, the excitement, the laughter, the old jokes trotted out all over again. Too much work."
A Perfect Night To Go To China by David Gilmour.
I read the book in less than a day, lost in its prose and loss.
Today is my birthday. I am thirty-one. I am not one for celebration. I am one for reflection. I cannot feel a physical difference between being 31 and being 25. I am sure I look older and I am sure my body is different. I do feel mentally older, more worn and weathered. Much of my life is spent in my head and among my thoughts.
Today has been a perfectly quiet day, as I wanted. I had dinner with my parents, birthday messages from my nieces, nephew and my sister. Yesterday I had dinner with my grandparents, they gave me a nice card and some money. Tonight I plan on watching the Leafs and the Canadiens, and would like to be in bed before 11. My life is carefully boring and I am better for this.
"I'm reaching deep within myself, I'm trying to tell you what I know....."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF0I_GXZdpI
Let Your Shoulder Fall by Matthew Jay
I wrote the following this afternoon.
A Canadian Blue Jay Out In The Snow
A mercury thermometer tells me
The weather is becoming warmer
A photograph scrapbook shows me
The man I have become is older
All the white snow begins to melt
I think it will soon be an eyesore
Like the shabbiness of some people
A band named after August plays
The tune is lonely but always good
Winter birds fly from wire to wire
Chirping their own unique melody
Women pass by hinting of perfume
The smell lingers after their passing
I like pretty smiles and dark glasses
Curly hair, intelligence and patience
Attraction distracts me until rejection
Feigning indifference is never simple
I do not bleed as much as previously
There does not seem to be a reason
My pain is only a reopened abrasion
The cause of which has moved away
I am not healed, healing or broken
Somewhere in between I am waiting
For spring, summer or perhaps fall
A new song to played on the piano
The radio never brings me any love
All I hear is manufactured ignorance
Occasionally brilliance seeps through
Reminding me of my own potential
Kindness ultimately finding success
In a world of vanity and its cruelty
Where appearances cannot deceive
There is no chance for us to show
Our personalities and our character
Things conceived but not perceived
Because rejection makes us conceal
A Canadian blue jay out in the snow
I am at home where shadows plunge
Darkness is only a state of my mind
Loneliness though is another account
A story to be appreciated in due time
When love has come to rest inside me
Finding its comfort in a bed of pleasure.
02/07/09
"You feel a little shy these days because everybody goes away....."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm_0PdrnUm0
Good Time by Counting Crows (live O2 wireless festival 2008)
It wouldn't be appropriate on my birthday not to have a Counting Crows clip. Eventually what we are looking for is a good time.
The featured song below encompasses exactly what I don't want to become, a remainder.
john
Long Division
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkerZYWRrmQ
Death Cab For Cutie
Home
"And the truth is, after a certain while, a certain age, it's too much trouble to make new friends, all that chat, the dinners, the excitement, the laughter, the old jokes trotted out all over again. Too much work."
A Perfect Night To Go To China by David Gilmour.
I read the book in less than a day, lost in its prose and loss.
Today is my birthday. I am thirty-one. I am not one for celebration. I am one for reflection. I cannot feel a physical difference between being 31 and being 25. I am sure I look older and I am sure my body is different. I do feel mentally older, more worn and weathered. Much of my life is spent in my head and among my thoughts.
Today has been a perfectly quiet day, as I wanted. I had dinner with my parents, birthday messages from my nieces, nephew and my sister. Yesterday I had dinner with my grandparents, they gave me a nice card and some money. Tonight I plan on watching the Leafs and the Canadiens, and would like to be in bed before 11. My life is carefully boring and I am better for this.
"I'm reaching deep within myself, I'm trying to tell you what I know....."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF0I_GXZdpI
Let Your Shoulder Fall by Matthew Jay
I wrote the following this afternoon.
A Canadian Blue Jay Out In The Snow
A mercury thermometer tells me
The weather is becoming warmer
A photograph scrapbook shows me
The man I have become is older
All the white snow begins to melt
I think it will soon be an eyesore
Like the shabbiness of some people
A band named after August plays
The tune is lonely but always good
Winter birds fly from wire to wire
Chirping their own unique melody
Women pass by hinting of perfume
The smell lingers after their passing
I like pretty smiles and dark glasses
Curly hair, intelligence and patience
Attraction distracts me until rejection
Feigning indifference is never simple
I do not bleed as much as previously
There does not seem to be a reason
My pain is only a reopened abrasion
The cause of which has moved away
I am not healed, healing or broken
Somewhere in between I am waiting
For spring, summer or perhaps fall
A new song to played on the piano
The radio never brings me any love
All I hear is manufactured ignorance
Occasionally brilliance seeps through
Reminding me of my own potential
Kindness ultimately finding success
In a world of vanity and its cruelty
Where appearances cannot deceive
There is no chance for us to show
Our personalities and our character
Things conceived but not perceived
Because rejection makes us conceal
A Canadian blue jay out in the snow
I am at home where shadows plunge
Darkness is only a state of my mind
Loneliness though is another account
A story to be appreciated in due time
When love has come to rest inside me
Finding its comfort in a bed of pleasure.
02/07/09
"You feel a little shy these days because everybody goes away....."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm_0PdrnUm0
Good Time by Counting Crows (live O2 wireless festival 2008)
It wouldn't be appropriate on my birthday not to have a Counting Crows clip. Eventually what we are looking for is a good time.
The featured song below encompasses exactly what I don't want to become, a remainder.
john
Long Division
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkerZYWRrmQ
Death Cab For Cutie
Thursday, February 5, 2009
"I don't know if you read novels or the magazines, if you love the hand that feeds you, I assume your heart's been bruised......"
1:00 pm
Home
"Brilliancy is moving towards colour, not towards white." The Underpainter by Jane Urquhart. I finished reading the novel today and will be incorporating some final passages throughout this entry. The main character is an old and solitary painter, who has turned his back on potential happiness because of personal weakness and selfishness. I found myself relating to a lot of his thoughts, actions and observations about life.
"And those you never forgive you find impossible to forget. It would be years before I relaxed, paused long enough to wonder if they ever forgave me."
The observations of Augusta, a World War I nurse and companion of the old painter's oldest friend.
"In the end, I saw that our grief was self-contained, separate. Look at these unruined towns, these tree-lined streets, that lake out there with perfect flakes of snow falling on dark waves. There is no place at all for unhappiness such as mine in a world as beautiful as this. I belong with mud, stained bandages, moaning soldiers."
"So why'd you fill my sorrows with the words you've borrowed from the only place you've known and why'd ya sing Hallelujah, if it means nothing to you......."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huDIF--HmPU
Delicate by Damien Rice
The temperature the last two days has been bitterly cold but its coldness has been contrasted by the brilliant brightness of the sun light. A delicate balance of cold and bright, a fleeting union only able to last for a couple days during winter. I wrote the following yesterday afternoon, in part trying to capture the light, impossibly so, and in part trying to capture her smile, also impossibly so. She is left handed, I did observe this after I had finished writing. Six more weeks, then what?
Six More Weeks
The light seems almost too perfect
For the coldness of this February day
Her smile seems almost too perfect
For the loneliness of this autumn boy
Who is no longer young and innocent
Hope has faded like October’s colours
The years have started to accumulate
Snow shovelled into a pile by the curb
Patiently waiting for spring’s thawing
Mother Nature’s eternal promise to us
My years will not melt away like snow
I am burdened with them until death
A lonely prospect in its current view
Without anyone to mourn my passing
Knowing the secrets between our lives
Afternoons and mornings leisurely spent
Stealing kisses, glances and embraces
Petty thieves in a world of extravagance
Happy with fresh flowers and warm tea
Green leaves, red petals and white skin
A younger man’s romantic aspirations
I cannot dream like this much anymore
The reality of its emptiness weakens me
A bird flying through the Canadian wind
Six more weeks of winter hiding shadows
Assuming groundhogs can be scientific
Stranger things have happened before
Especially in the perfect light of a smile.
02/04/09
"It's a small crime and I've got no excuse......"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOn5Eudj5tI
9 Crimes by Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan
Chaos Theory is a movie about an organized man (Ryan Reynolds) who has perfectly timed life altered by his wife's (Emily Mortimer) moving of their clock ahead by ten minutes. Being ten minutes late changes everything for Reynolds through a series of events and encounters. I thought the movie was alright, a little quirky and though the plausibility of some of the events seemed vaguely possibly, it passed an hour and a half. Sarah Chalke is cute in the movie, like she is in her role on Scrubs. She could have easily have been Dr. Elliot Reid in this movie and not Paula Crowe. Information about this movie is below. I am never sure if making lists or living life by chance is better. I am somewhere in between, and not efficiently so.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460745/
"Loving is good if it's not understood, yeah, but I'm the professor and feel that I should know...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYOAslBbURI
The Professor & La Fille Danse by Damien Rice with Lisa Hannigan
I like words.
Eidetic: of, pertaining to, or constituting visual imagery vividly experienced and readily reproducible with great accuracy and in great detail.
Pontificate: to express opinions or judgments in a dogmatic way.
After Damien Rice ended their professional relationship in March of 2007, Lisa Hannigan would have time to focus on her own solo career. This would lead to the release of her first solo album Sea Sew in September of 2008, it has mostly recieved positive reviews. I have listened to it a few times now and seem to be stuck on the song below as my favourite. As much as I am a fan of Damien Rice, it was often her voice I listened for and felt a love for. She has now proven that she can swim in the vast sea of music by herself.
jr.
I Don't Know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQcMLjZa0m0
Lisa Hannigan
Home
"Brilliancy is moving towards colour, not towards white." The Underpainter by Jane Urquhart. I finished reading the novel today and will be incorporating some final passages throughout this entry. The main character is an old and solitary painter, who has turned his back on potential happiness because of personal weakness and selfishness. I found myself relating to a lot of his thoughts, actions and observations about life.
"And those you never forgive you find impossible to forget. It would be years before I relaxed, paused long enough to wonder if they ever forgave me."
The observations of Augusta, a World War I nurse and companion of the old painter's oldest friend.
"In the end, I saw that our grief was self-contained, separate. Look at these unruined towns, these tree-lined streets, that lake out there with perfect flakes of snow falling on dark waves. There is no place at all for unhappiness such as mine in a world as beautiful as this. I belong with mud, stained bandages, moaning soldiers."
"So why'd you fill my sorrows with the words you've borrowed from the only place you've known and why'd ya sing Hallelujah, if it means nothing to you......."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huDIF--HmPU
Delicate by Damien Rice
The temperature the last two days has been bitterly cold but its coldness has been contrasted by the brilliant brightness of the sun light. A delicate balance of cold and bright, a fleeting union only able to last for a couple days during winter. I wrote the following yesterday afternoon, in part trying to capture the light, impossibly so, and in part trying to capture her smile, also impossibly so. She is left handed, I did observe this after I had finished writing. Six more weeks, then what?
Six More Weeks
The light seems almost too perfect
For the coldness of this February day
Her smile seems almost too perfect
For the loneliness of this autumn boy
Who is no longer young and innocent
Hope has faded like October’s colours
The years have started to accumulate
Snow shovelled into a pile by the curb
Patiently waiting for spring’s thawing
Mother Nature’s eternal promise to us
My years will not melt away like snow
I am burdened with them until death
A lonely prospect in its current view
Without anyone to mourn my passing
Knowing the secrets between our lives
Afternoons and mornings leisurely spent
Stealing kisses, glances and embraces
Petty thieves in a world of extravagance
Happy with fresh flowers and warm tea
Green leaves, red petals and white skin
A younger man’s romantic aspirations
I cannot dream like this much anymore
The reality of its emptiness weakens me
A bird flying through the Canadian wind
Six more weeks of winter hiding shadows
Assuming groundhogs can be scientific
Stranger things have happened before
Especially in the perfect light of a smile.
02/04/09
"It's a small crime and I've got no excuse......"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOn5Eudj5tI
9 Crimes by Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan
Chaos Theory is a movie about an organized man (Ryan Reynolds) who has perfectly timed life altered by his wife's (Emily Mortimer) moving of their clock ahead by ten minutes. Being ten minutes late changes everything for Reynolds through a series of events and encounters. I thought the movie was alright, a little quirky and though the plausibility of some of the events seemed vaguely possibly, it passed an hour and a half. Sarah Chalke is cute in the movie, like she is in her role on Scrubs. She could have easily have been Dr. Elliot Reid in this movie and not Paula Crowe. Information about this movie is below. I am never sure if making lists or living life by chance is better. I am somewhere in between, and not efficiently so.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460745/
"Loving is good if it's not understood, yeah, but I'm the professor and feel that I should know...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYOAslBbURI
The Professor & La Fille Danse by Damien Rice with Lisa Hannigan
I like words.
Eidetic: of, pertaining to, or constituting visual imagery vividly experienced and readily reproducible with great accuracy and in great detail.
Pontificate: to express opinions or judgments in a dogmatic way.
After Damien Rice ended their professional relationship in March of 2007, Lisa Hannigan would have time to focus on her own solo career. This would lead to the release of her first solo album Sea Sew in September of 2008, it has mostly recieved positive reviews. I have listened to it a few times now and seem to be stuck on the song below as my favourite. As much as I am a fan of Damien Rice, it was often her voice I listened for and felt a love for. She has now proven that she can swim in the vast sea of music by herself.
jr.
I Don't Know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQcMLjZa0m0
Lisa Hannigan
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
"One thing you can't hide is when you're crippled inside....."
3:40 pm
Home
There is normal crazy and there is scary crazy, a thin line exists between these. David Mark Chapman fused these two lines together until his craziness manifested itself as a character in a novel. Ultimately making him more famous than Holden Caulfield could ever be.
Yesterday afternoon I watched The Killing of John Lennon. The movie tries to get inside the head of David Mark Chapman in the months, days and finally hours prior to his killing of Lennon. The recreation of David Mark Chapman is one of a very disturbed man, as he most likely was and probably still is. The movie does a good job of showing how distraught and confused Chapman was prior to his famous killing. Though everything in this movie is subjective to what Chapman has revealed under observation and in psychiatric consultation. Along with what evidence the police were able to gather during their investigation. Overall I found the movie interesting and Chapman frighteningly pathetic, making the death of Lennon much harder to accept. I usually listen to one or more of John's songs a day and yet he was only alive for 2 and a half years of my life. Information about the movie is below.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0881934/
"There are places I remember, all my life, though some have changed, some forever not for the better, some have gone and some remain...."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=o2d2llB4oIQ
In My Life by The Beatles
Last Friday was the 40th anniversary of The Beatles last public performance, a short rooftop concert on top of the Apple Records building in London, England. There were celebrations and recreations throughout the world, and here in London, Ontario there was a noon hour imitation rooftop concert. The concert took place on Dundas Street on top of the Coffee Culture building, above a crowd approaching 1000 and forcing police to close down the street. The band played the same set that the Beatles played on that day. I wish I had been in the area, or had know about it. Below is the article from the London Free Press, along with a 3 minute video (off to side of the article) covering the event. I think there is a full length recording on one of the local news sites, but I haven't found it yet.
http://www.lfpress.ca/newsstand/Today/Music/2009/01/31/8214901-sun.html
"Woman I know you understand the little child inside the man........"
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=PaLfDnShEn0
Woman by John Lennon
I wrote the following last night and I am actually pleased with most of the result.
Unacceptable
The proximity of her body
Begins to ignite my flame
I am warming and yearning
At the prospect of be burnt
I have not been on fire lately
The coldness of this winter
Has left me bitter and alone
Cursing every loving couple
Their fingers locked together
Walking through my streets
Seeing them with glad eyes
Grateful for being accepted
By another soul as they are
I am unacceptable like I am
Isolated from human contact
A phone knowingly off hook
There is no voice of comfort
Besides my musical heroes
Their poetry like a fountain
Flowing over my tired body
I am drowning in sad misery
Unable to drown or lay down
Always waking up breathing
Ten, twenty and thirty years
Death seems closer than love
This seems unacceptable now
Winter has to become spring
A promise was made long ago
I was a witness of its creation
Required to fight until fatality
Took away my life’s meaning
Assuming I can find it myself
The world can be a huge maze
With many puzzles and riddles
Bringing anguish into our lives
Until we are smarter about it
Learning solutions by touching
Instead of withdrawing hands
Feeling and exploring thoughts
Previously ignored with anxiety
Due to a lack of comprehension
Can now be completely stated
I will be accepted for my soul
The immediacy does not matter
My ashes are still skin and bone
There is desire in her proximity
Attempting to warm my winter.
02/02/09
"I was trying to catch your eyes, thought that you was trying to hide....."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=6lLs2dC9NaE
Jealous Guy by John Lennon
I went out and did some reading today. For the most part I was able to concentrate on the book I am reading, The Underpainter by Jane Urquhart. In public this isn't always the case, if you are easily distracted, as I can be. There was the usual distraction of someone I find interesting, but she wasn't around long. The following passages are from The Underpainter.
"She had no place, no relevance at all, in this part of my life. She belonged in a light-filled room in the north, a room with a view of landscapes I could frame and sell, her body frozen into poses I could also frame and sell. Her presence in my city life, my winter life, was unacceptable."
A poem within the novel, one that might or might not be of the author's creation.
"Fragrant the rose is but it swiftly fades in time.
The violet sweet, but quickly past its prime.
White lilies hang their heads and soon decay,
And winter snow in minutes melts away.
Such and so withering are our early joys,
Which time and sickness speedily destroys."
We might be crippled and broken inside, but it doesn't mean some of us can't be fixed.
john.
Crippled Inside
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=zxi-3Hi_T2A
John Lennon
Home
There is normal crazy and there is scary crazy, a thin line exists between these. David Mark Chapman fused these two lines together until his craziness manifested itself as a character in a novel. Ultimately making him more famous than Holden Caulfield could ever be.
Yesterday afternoon I watched The Killing of John Lennon. The movie tries to get inside the head of David Mark Chapman in the months, days and finally hours prior to his killing of Lennon. The recreation of David Mark Chapman is one of a very disturbed man, as he most likely was and probably still is. The movie does a good job of showing how distraught and confused Chapman was prior to his famous killing. Though everything in this movie is subjective to what Chapman has revealed under observation and in psychiatric consultation. Along with what evidence the police were able to gather during their investigation. Overall I found the movie interesting and Chapman frighteningly pathetic, making the death of Lennon much harder to accept. I usually listen to one or more of John's songs a day and yet he was only alive for 2 and a half years of my life. Information about the movie is below.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0881934/
"There are places I remember, all my life, though some have changed, some forever not for the better, some have gone and some remain...."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=o2d2llB4oIQ
In My Life by The Beatles
Last Friday was the 40th anniversary of The Beatles last public performance, a short rooftop concert on top of the Apple Records building in London, England. There were celebrations and recreations throughout the world, and here in London, Ontario there was a noon hour imitation rooftop concert. The concert took place on Dundas Street on top of the Coffee Culture building, above a crowd approaching 1000 and forcing police to close down the street. The band played the same set that the Beatles played on that day. I wish I had been in the area, or had know about it. Below is the article from the London Free Press, along with a 3 minute video (off to side of the article) covering the event. I think there is a full length recording on one of the local news sites, but I haven't found it yet.
http://www.lfpress.ca/newsstand/Today/Music/2009/01/31/8214901-sun.html
"Woman I know you understand the little child inside the man........"
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=PaLfDnShEn0
Woman by John Lennon
I wrote the following last night and I am actually pleased with most of the result.
Unacceptable
The proximity of her body
Begins to ignite my flame
I am warming and yearning
At the prospect of be burnt
I have not been on fire lately
The coldness of this winter
Has left me bitter and alone
Cursing every loving couple
Their fingers locked together
Walking through my streets
Seeing them with glad eyes
Grateful for being accepted
By another soul as they are
I am unacceptable like I am
Isolated from human contact
A phone knowingly off hook
There is no voice of comfort
Besides my musical heroes
Their poetry like a fountain
Flowing over my tired body
I am drowning in sad misery
Unable to drown or lay down
Always waking up breathing
Ten, twenty and thirty years
Death seems closer than love
This seems unacceptable now
Winter has to become spring
A promise was made long ago
I was a witness of its creation
Required to fight until fatality
Took away my life’s meaning
Assuming I can find it myself
The world can be a huge maze
With many puzzles and riddles
Bringing anguish into our lives
Until we are smarter about it
Learning solutions by touching
Instead of withdrawing hands
Feeling and exploring thoughts
Previously ignored with anxiety
Due to a lack of comprehension
Can now be completely stated
I will be accepted for my soul
The immediacy does not matter
My ashes are still skin and bone
There is desire in her proximity
Attempting to warm my winter.
02/02/09
"I was trying to catch your eyes, thought that you was trying to hide....."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=6lLs2dC9NaE
Jealous Guy by John Lennon
I went out and did some reading today. For the most part I was able to concentrate on the book I am reading, The Underpainter by Jane Urquhart. In public this isn't always the case, if you are easily distracted, as I can be. There was the usual distraction of someone I find interesting, but she wasn't around long. The following passages are from The Underpainter.
"She had no place, no relevance at all, in this part of my life. She belonged in a light-filled room in the north, a room with a view of landscapes I could frame and sell, her body frozen into poses I could also frame and sell. Her presence in my city life, my winter life, was unacceptable."
A poem within the novel, one that might or might not be of the author's creation.
"Fragrant the rose is but it swiftly fades in time.
The violet sweet, but quickly past its prime.
White lilies hang their heads and soon decay,
And winter snow in minutes melts away.
Such and so withering are our early joys,
Which time and sickness speedily destroys."
We might be crippled and broken inside, but it doesn't mean some of us can't be fixed.
john.
Crippled Inside
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=zxi-3Hi_T2A
John Lennon
Monday, February 2, 2009
"I got out of bed today, staring at a ghost, who forgot to float away......."
9:10 am
Home
Good morning, puppets of the groundhogs.
So last night's Superbowl produced a very dramatic ending and the favoured Pittsburgh Steelers came back to beat the underdog Arizona Cardinals 27-23 with a last minute touchdown.
"Glory days well they'll pass you by.........."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=cB35yLkZEmQ
Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen (live on Letterman)
For some, the glory days never seem to end, and during his Superbowl appearance last night Bruce Springsteen and his E Street band performed to much glory. The mostly upbeat performance included Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out, a few verses of the title song from his latest album Working on a Dream, Born To Run and Glory Days. I like Springsteen best, like I do most musicians, when they are dark and moody, but this of course wasn't the venue or the event to do so. It would have been nice to hear the new and award winning The Wrestler or the old and time lasting Thunder Road. Even the Boss needs a bailout (sellout) to survive in America's new landscape.
"Don't turn your talking points on me, history will set me free, the future's ours and you don't even read the footnote now..........."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=f9DoM2W0YDQ
Living Well is the Best Revenge by R.E.M.
Yesterday afternoon I watched Milk and I am now of the opinion that Sean Penn is the most complete actor working today. The movie tells the story of Harvey Milk America's first openly gay person elected to high office as a San Fransisco City Supervisor in 1978. Though the movie is more about the struggle of human rights and gay rights against bigotry and religion. I must admit the male on male kissing was a bit much for me at times, but the gayness of the movie was mostly tasteful. At the end of the movie, and Harvey's cold blooded murder, we are left with a sea of a thousand candles silhouetting through the dark streets of San Fransisco. By extinguishing one of the brightest lights of the gay movement, thousands more were lit in its place. I am very liberal in my social opinions, and as long as public displays of affection are not done over the top by either heterosexual or homosexual couples, it does not matter to me. People should be with who they want to be and when they want to be, it is their choice like it is my choice. In my opinion gay men are missing out on the most fascinating parts of human creation, the body and the mind of a woman, beauty and intelligence. There is information about Milk below, which also features strong performances from James Franco, Emile Hirsch and Josh Brolin.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1013753/
I do not have much planned for today, I think I will stay inside, read, do laundry, and find a movie to watch.
Today's featured lyrics are from Canadian band Wintersleep and its hit song Weighty Ghost, about not being able to see yourself because of the ghost you have become. How real and scary our self haunting can be.
Seeing or not seeing our shadow can be the death of us.
john.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-iW0zL2LI0
Home
Good morning, puppets of the groundhogs.
So last night's Superbowl produced a very dramatic ending and the favoured Pittsburgh Steelers came back to beat the underdog Arizona Cardinals 27-23 with a last minute touchdown.
"Glory days well they'll pass you by.........."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=cB35yLkZEmQ
Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen (live on Letterman)
For some, the glory days never seem to end, and during his Superbowl appearance last night Bruce Springsteen and his E Street band performed to much glory. The mostly upbeat performance included Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out, a few verses of the title song from his latest album Working on a Dream, Born To Run and Glory Days. I like Springsteen best, like I do most musicians, when they are dark and moody, but this of course wasn't the venue or the event to do so. It would have been nice to hear the new and award winning The Wrestler or the old and time lasting Thunder Road. Even the Boss needs a bailout (sellout) to survive in America's new landscape.
"Don't turn your talking points on me, history will set me free, the future's ours and you don't even read the footnote now..........."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=f9DoM2W0YDQ
Living Well is the Best Revenge by R.E.M.
Yesterday afternoon I watched Milk and I am now of the opinion that Sean Penn is the most complete actor working today. The movie tells the story of Harvey Milk America's first openly gay person elected to high office as a San Fransisco City Supervisor in 1978. Though the movie is more about the struggle of human rights and gay rights against bigotry and religion. I must admit the male on male kissing was a bit much for me at times, but the gayness of the movie was mostly tasteful. At the end of the movie, and Harvey's cold blooded murder, we are left with a sea of a thousand candles silhouetting through the dark streets of San Fransisco. By extinguishing one of the brightest lights of the gay movement, thousands more were lit in its place. I am very liberal in my social opinions, and as long as public displays of affection are not done over the top by either heterosexual or homosexual couples, it does not matter to me. People should be with who they want to be and when they want to be, it is their choice like it is my choice. In my opinion gay men are missing out on the most fascinating parts of human creation, the body and the mind of a woman, beauty and intelligence. There is information about Milk below, which also features strong performances from James Franco, Emile Hirsch and Josh Brolin.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1013753/
I do not have much planned for today, I think I will stay inside, read, do laundry, and find a movie to watch.
Today's featured lyrics are from Canadian band Wintersleep and its hit song Weighty Ghost, about not being able to see yourself because of the ghost you have become. How real and scary our self haunting can be.
Seeing or not seeing our shadow can be the death of us.
john.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-iW0zL2LI0
Sunday, February 1, 2009
"Do you want to see it? The place where I am free? Cos in my mind I need it but you're nowhere near to me........"
9:20 am
Home
So it is another Sunday and on this particular Sunday it is Super Bowl Sunday. I will be cheering for the underdog Arizona Cardinals in the game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. I have not watched as much football this year as in previous years, so I will offer no analysis. Hopefully it is a good game, with lots of enjoyable advertisements.
Another version of the most unnecessary music countdown in the world is below.
Top 25 songs played this year according to my iTunes player
1. Twenty Years by Augustana (4)
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=g0oTAivWGGk
2. Kathleen by Josh Ritter (1)
3. Golden by My Morning Jacket (3)
4. Heart of Gold by Neil Young (2)
5. Thank You by The Redwalls (7)
6. Autumn Walker by Jets To Brazil (5)
7. Elephant by Damien Rice (8)
8. 1 2 3 4 by Feist (11)
9. End of the Empire by Sam Roberts (6)
10. A Falling Through by Ray LaMontagne (-)
11. Always by Peter Bradley Adams (-)
12. Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine (-)
13. Vanity by Emerson Hart (10)
14. Body in a Box by City and Colour (9)
15. Colors by Amos Lee (-)
16. You Don't Know Me by Ben Folds featuring Regina Spektor (18)
17. A Long December by Counting Crows (14)
18. Cannonball by Damien Rice (13)
19. Tears and Rain by James Blunt (22)
20. After Hours by We Are Scientists (12)
21. Thought I Knew by Weezer (-)
22. Hollow Man by R.E.M. (24)
23. I'm Amazed by My Morning Jacket (-)
24. Human by The Killers (23)
25. We Might As Well Be Strangers by Keane (-)
"Now I remember all too well just how it feels to be all alone, you feel like you'd give anything for just a little place you can call your own..."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=5LWpw3CMCEg
Let It Be Me by Ray LaMontagne
I wrote the following yesterday afternoon, longing for anything but winter and wanting to be anyone but me.
Affliction and Disillusion
Irregular flakes of snow fall on this Saturday
Taking their time floating down before landing
Waiting for an army of white to absorb them
I am sick of winter on this January afternoon
Despite my feelings of affliction and disillusion
A new cashmere scarf provides warmth to me
I like blowing into it and trying to trap its heat
Momentarily escaping winter’s constant clench
Before a northern Canadian wind chills me again
Reminding me of my heritage and its struggles
A people in need of knitted mittens like mine
Multi-coloured, layered and sufficiently insulated
I am isolated by my aloofness and awkwardness
Destined for definition by loneliness and kindness
A contrasting combination of needing and wanting
Hands on a woman’s body in the morning stillness
Hours indefinable by either moonlight or sunlight
Penetration a memory carefully wrapped in sound
Moans, groans, screams, dreams and ecstasies
The thrill of exposure and its anticipated pleasure
Body, mind, spirit and soul commingling together
Allowing physical release to bring mental freedom
Stress disappearing into a river of unfrozen milk
I can no longer speculate on my future potential
Gold and other minerals are becoming expensive
Silver will be the colour of my hair on death’s bed
Being alone on this day frightens and stiffens me
Reality is very unavoidable when you are a realist
In moments of hypocrisy I am a romantic dreamer
The beauty inside writes itself despite the ugliness
Existing on the face of what was once a little boy
I remember a purple Popsicle and a red haired girl
Clouds moving faster than lips on a first scared kiss
Unsure about what comes next and lucky this time
The snow still falls, floats, lingers, reflects and lands
Things must run their courses and endure our curses
I need to be more patient, accommodating and loving.
01/31/09
"You're never going home........."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=SnPC3jTm5nA
Ulysses by Franz Ferdinand
I was bored early last night and was flipping through my movie channels. I decided to watch The Last King of Scotland again, it is a good story with a great performance by Forest Whitaker and a good performance by James McAvoy. Information about the movie is below, if you have not seen it. Above is the first single from Scottish Band Franz Ferdinand's third album Tonight released this past week. I have not heard all the album but it sounds like a solid collection of music without any major departures from Franz's sound. I think I would like to visit Scotland someday, my dad's father was born there and I think its countryside would suit me.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0455590/
At least this Sunday I do not have to worrying about how much sleep I got and whether I am going to be tired for work.
jr.
Home
So it is another Sunday and on this particular Sunday it is Super Bowl Sunday. I will be cheering for the underdog Arizona Cardinals in the game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. I have not watched as much football this year as in previous years, so I will offer no analysis. Hopefully it is a good game, with lots of enjoyable advertisements.
Another version of the most unnecessary music countdown in the world is below.
Top 25 songs played this year according to my iTunes player
1. Twenty Years by Augustana (4)
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=g0oTAivWGGk
2. Kathleen by Josh Ritter (1)
3. Golden by My Morning Jacket (3)
4. Heart of Gold by Neil Young (2)
5. Thank You by The Redwalls (7)
6. Autumn Walker by Jets To Brazil (5)
7. Elephant by Damien Rice (8)
8. 1 2 3 4 by Feist (11)
9. End of the Empire by Sam Roberts (6)
10. A Falling Through by Ray LaMontagne (-)
11. Always by Peter Bradley Adams (-)
12. Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine (-)
13. Vanity by Emerson Hart (10)
14. Body in a Box by City and Colour (9)
15. Colors by Amos Lee (-)
16. You Don't Know Me by Ben Folds featuring Regina Spektor (18)
17. A Long December by Counting Crows (14)
18. Cannonball by Damien Rice (13)
19. Tears and Rain by James Blunt (22)
20. After Hours by We Are Scientists (12)
21. Thought I Knew by Weezer (-)
22. Hollow Man by R.E.M. (24)
23. I'm Amazed by My Morning Jacket (-)
24. Human by The Killers (23)
25. We Might As Well Be Strangers by Keane (-)
"Now I remember all too well just how it feels to be all alone, you feel like you'd give anything for just a little place you can call your own..."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=5LWpw3CMCEg
Let It Be Me by Ray LaMontagne
I wrote the following yesterday afternoon, longing for anything but winter and wanting to be anyone but me.
Affliction and Disillusion
Irregular flakes of snow fall on this Saturday
Taking their time floating down before landing
Waiting for an army of white to absorb them
I am sick of winter on this January afternoon
Despite my feelings of affliction and disillusion
A new cashmere scarf provides warmth to me
I like blowing into it and trying to trap its heat
Momentarily escaping winter’s constant clench
Before a northern Canadian wind chills me again
Reminding me of my heritage and its struggles
A people in need of knitted mittens like mine
Multi-coloured, layered and sufficiently insulated
I am isolated by my aloofness and awkwardness
Destined for definition by loneliness and kindness
A contrasting combination of needing and wanting
Hands on a woman’s body in the morning stillness
Hours indefinable by either moonlight or sunlight
Penetration a memory carefully wrapped in sound
Moans, groans, screams, dreams and ecstasies
The thrill of exposure and its anticipated pleasure
Body, mind, spirit and soul commingling together
Allowing physical release to bring mental freedom
Stress disappearing into a river of unfrozen milk
I can no longer speculate on my future potential
Gold and other minerals are becoming expensive
Silver will be the colour of my hair on death’s bed
Being alone on this day frightens and stiffens me
Reality is very unavoidable when you are a realist
In moments of hypocrisy I am a romantic dreamer
The beauty inside writes itself despite the ugliness
Existing on the face of what was once a little boy
I remember a purple Popsicle and a red haired girl
Clouds moving faster than lips on a first scared kiss
Unsure about what comes next and lucky this time
The snow still falls, floats, lingers, reflects and lands
Things must run their courses and endure our curses
I need to be more patient, accommodating and loving.
01/31/09
"You're never going home........."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=SnPC3jTm5nA
Ulysses by Franz Ferdinand
I was bored early last night and was flipping through my movie channels. I decided to watch The Last King of Scotland again, it is a good story with a great performance by Forest Whitaker and a good performance by James McAvoy. Information about the movie is below, if you have not seen it. Above is the first single from Scottish Band Franz Ferdinand's third album Tonight released this past week. I have not heard all the album but it sounds like a solid collection of music without any major departures from Franz's sound. I think I would like to visit Scotland someday, my dad's father was born there and I think its countryside would suit me.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0455590/
At least this Sunday I do not have to worrying about how much sleep I got and whether I am going to be tired for work.
jr.
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