Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and grandmothers. They have given us the miracle of life and it is honestly a miracle. Though having a child doesn't make someone a mother, they have to be willing to do all the things no one else is able to do. I am lucky to have a really good and loving mother, who did and continues to do all the things no one else can do. I am not the most communicative or open son but I can discuss anything with mother without judgement. She has been there for me, whether I thought I needed her or not. I don't imagine it is easy being a mother, especially as your children get older and need you less. Letting go is not easy to do, no matter what the relationship is. All children will return to their mothers when the time is necessary. It is raining steadily here and we have done nothing overly special today. I got a card and a gift for my mother. I am also lucky to have two loving grandmothers who are also very good examples of what it takes to be a mother.
"Alone on a train aimless in wonder, an outdated map crumbled in my pocket but I didn't care where I was going...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=aRsh2-JGIcE
I often wish I had the resources to just pick up and disappear for a while. I am sure we all think this from time to time, though mine seems to be a daily occurrence. I like to wander, think, observe and in a different place I think it would be better. I think I would be a better person and perhaps able to find some inspiration to live better. I wrote the piece below this afternoon.
Mired By Unspoken Issues
A steady rain falls on this Mother’s Day
Richmond Street appears to be deserted
Gone are all the Saturday night party people
Having noisily disappeared behind curtains
Passing out on familiar couches and unfamiliar beds
I watch the rain and listen to Neon Bible
While thinking about May and its eleven days
There does not seem to be the old happiness
I usually associate with this month’s arrival
People seem to be a little out of sorts
Celebrations have been mired by unspoken issues
Not everything is as it might appear to be
Everyone else has someone to go home to
I wonder though if they are really happy
Their smiles like mine look a little fake
Conversations are not as plentiful or interesting
As they used to be in days already lived
You can find someone and love them
Only to realize it is not enough
They are not quite the person you need
Whether you can get past it or not
Will always be a tough question to answer
There is protection in being with someone
Though being alone gives you freedom
I am not good at being with someone
Too afraid to have my flaws rejected
So there are many moments of introspection
Where I question togetherness and randomness
Unwilling to deny anyone their happiness
As long as it is not an illusion born of loneliness
I have been there and it is a mistake
A street puddle splashes the window
Streaking water down its length
Bringing my view back to the room
Various eyes and varied faces
Beauty is motherhood and its bonds
There will always be sunshine shining for me
When I think of my mother and her love
Not everyone is as lucky as me
Knowing this makes me happy
Even if it is not as often as it should be.
05/11/08
"How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me, it's like a book elegantly bound, but in a language that you can't read - just yet, you gotta spend some time--love, you gotta spend some time with me and I know that you'll find--love, I will possess your heart..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=pq-yP7mb8UE
I Will Possess Your Heart is the first single from Death Cab For Cutie's newest album Narrow Stairs due out May 13. I absolutely loved their last album Plans and would often listen to it from front to back without skipping any songs. This is a rarity in today's world of singles bands who can't put together a complete album of material. Narrow Stairs is apparently darker and full of brilliant despair. If this is the case its songs will be a welcomed addition to my music catalogue. The lyric above from I Will Possess Your Heart is something I often wish I could say to a woman I am interested in.
"You think that you can do without me, I can't do anything at all, you think that you can do without me but I don't believe in Sundays and I don't believe in anything at all...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=lFm4juaVswQ
Despite the lyric above Sundays by Counting Crows is actually a very catchy and toe tapping song, I won't say it is upbeat but it is a good rock song. The live version above doesn't have the best sound or video but the album version is really good.
I watched a couple of movies yesterday, 88 Minutes and The Bank Job. 88 Minutes isn't really that good but Pacino is still worth watching, even if his movies aren't. I thought The Bank Job was a really intriguing and unique heist film. It keep me guessing as to what would happen in the end. The reviews to both movies are below.
http://movies.nytimes.com/2008/04/18/movies/18minu.html?ref=movies
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20182344,00.html
"It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L1SZvhCNIY0
I am feeling slightly better today and my side doesn't hurt as much. It is still raining and it is 12 Celsius. This Sunday afternoon seems like it has lasted the length of an entire day but it is almost dinner time now. We are having Ham, scalloped potatoes along with the usual vegetables and probably rice. Love is watching someone die but it is also apperciating them while they are alive. Someday we will all be loved and there will be no more voids.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ybxGMQcsln4
jr.
No comments:
Post a Comment