"I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing, Roman Cavalary choirs are singing..."

On June 17 Coldplay releases their fourth studio album Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. I have now heard 2 songs from the coming album, the disappointing Violet Hill and the good title track Viva la Vida. The song was inspired by a painting commemorating the French Revolution of 1830 which toppled Charles X. At least this is what I gather from what I've read. Coldplay is as close to a sure thing as the music industry has these days. Viva la Vida will sell well, a couple million or so. It will not come close to X + Y's 10 million or so. Coldplay is in my top 5 bands but I have friends who like them more, which can be annoying at times as I suppose is my like of Counting Crows. I think at poker last night I must have heard Viva la Vida 20 times or so, as someone put it on repeat.
"Honey you are the sea upon which I float and I came here to talk, I think you should know..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QbAZiVRG6h0
Speaking of poker, I ended up doing okay. I got down $60 and ended up $30. We had 9 people out to play which always makes it interesting. There was pre-poker tennis ball soccer which was also interesting, thankfully no one got seriously hurt and only a little beer was spilt. It is fun hanging out with friends and playing a mostly friendly game. The friendly banter and sibiling arguing is impressive in its nature. The decision to order wings near the end of the night was brilliant.
Green Eyes (clip above) is Coldplay at their best, great lyrics and melody.
"You're the target that I am aiming at, got to get that message home..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yHlycyf4zyk
Well here a few weird news items, I enjoyed reading.
The first one is about a businessman from Indonesia who is going to drop over $10,000 (U.S.) from an airplane over Jakarta as a publicity stunt to promote his new book.
http://news.aol.com/story/_a/indonesian-plans-to-drop-money-out-of/n20080530154209990015?ecid=RSS0001
The second story is about an airport in Tokyo which as a training exercise placed a package of cannabis in some one's luggage but lost track of it. Hopefully the person made the best of their gift.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080527/odds/odd_cannabis_dc
The third story is about a homeless woman who apparently lived in a man's closet for a year without him knowing. Tokyo seems like an interesting place these days.
http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Oddities/080530/K053006AU.html
"Hundreds of years in the future, there could be computers looking for life on Earth, don't fight for the wrong side, say what you feel like, say how you feel..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bfmW1Q71YHk
The other day I picked up a new book called A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers, the book was a finalist for the Pulizter Price and I am finding it both funny and heartbreakingly honest.
Today's lyrics and clips are from Coldplay, including Green Eyes, A Message, Twisted Logic and below Viva la Vida.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=O3mYc1m3lsM
Enjoy your weekend.
jr.

"All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right, I'm tripping inwards, you got my head spinning....."

The weather today is perfect like it was yesterday but a little warmer. The temperature is in the low 20's with a strong breeze, lots of sun and very little cloud. Traces of white are high above like snow in the distance or memories forgotten. I tend to blog a lot about the weather, I guess I generally observe nature and its happenings.
Yesterday I helped a friend move and I am a little sore today. It wasn't too bad, after the second trip we had a BBQ with massive burgers, dogs and beer. It was good but we still had to unload the truck and all I wanted to do then was sleep. This is what I want to do if I have beer in the afternoons and stop. Which is why I usually don't, unless the occasion calls for it. I guess this one did.
"For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins, we were merely freshmen...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sVNAp1C8LIw
The following story about Vancouver Canucks young defence Luc Bourdon is tragic. Young athletes who play a game that moves at a fast pace often live their lives this way. Whether speed, alcohol or anything else was responsible for him losing control of his motorcycle, I don't know. http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080529/sports/nhl_bourdon_killed
"We stood outside together, and we laughed like ancient friends. Then we laid down in a field, just where the road begins and ends...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=q6YZo0ZIGSU
Canada actually has a political scandal worth reading. The Maxime Bernier, Julie Couillard, Hell's Angels, Classified documents and his resignation from Foreign Affairs Minister is fascinating. The whole thing is also very embarrassing for Canada and Stephen Harper, though I think it is going to hurt Harper more than the country in the long run. Bernier was his star minister from Quebec and has left Harper with egg on his face. An article from today's Globe and Mail about the motives behind her actions is below.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080529.wlbreakup29/BNStory/lifeFamily/home?cid=al_gam_mostrecom
I should really do some creative writing because it seems like forever since I created anything good. I suppose I need a new muse.
The songs used into today's blog are The Verve Pipe's one hit The Freshman, the very good Jim Cuddy of Blue Rodeo's Pull Me Through and the title lyrics are from Lifehouse's popular song You and Me, there is a link to it below.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zPsQWT7d0iM
jr.

"You know the grass is always greener in someone else's yard and the world is so much meaner when your heart is hard..."

Not much of a blog today. 2 things are annoying me, my laptop and the weather. This moring at 11 it was 7 degrees, yesterday it was 22, today's high was maybe 15 and yesterday was close to 30. There is supposed to be a minus windchill tonight. Come on folks, make up your freaking mind. One days shorts and tee, the next day jeans, sweater and jacket. As for my laptop I had a brain freeze with technology and now everything is fine.
Today is Tuesday, so the countdown is below.
Today's lyric is from Amos Lee's Bottom Of The Barrel and yes you do have to go there before you can get out of it.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Crjy5pCmpUo
john.

Top 100 Songs Played This Year On My iTunes Player
1. You Can't Count On Me by Counting Crows (1)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=h2lfD2XpnvM
2. Have You Ever Seen The Rain? by C.C.R. (7)
3. Creep by Radiohead (2)
4. Guaranteed by Eddie Vedder (5)
5. The One I Love by David Gray (3)
6. When I Dream Of Michelangelo by Counting Crows (6)
7. Cowboys by Counting Crows (8)
8. Thinking About You by Norah Jones (4)
9. Say It To Me Now by Glen Hansard (9)
10. One by U2 (10)
11. Hannah by Ray LaMontagne (22)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hfSfEPZA40w
12. The Bends by Radiohead (23)
13. Long Road To Ruin by Foo Fighters (11)
14. Waiting by City and Colour (12)
15. Empty by Ray LaMontagne (20)
16. Blanket Of Ghosts by Dustin Kensrue (13)
17. Falling Slowly by The Frames (14)
18. NYC by Interpol (30)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=BwOkqPNq4w0
19. If I Had Eyes by Jack Johnson (15)
20. When You Were Young by The Killers (17)
21. Calling All Friends by Low Stars (18)
22. Always by Neverending White Lights (19)
23. Imitation Of Life by R.E.M. (24)
24. Let It Ride by Ryan Adams (31)
25. Everybody Knows by Ryan Adams (21)
26. Sunday Morning Coming Down (Live) by Johnny Cash (16)
27. Boy With A Coin by Iron and Wine (27)
28. Society by Eddie Vedder (29)
29. Hard Sun by Eddie Vedder (28)
30. My List by The Killers (26)
31. Wonderwall by Oasis (25)
32. Where The Streets Have No Name by U2 (32)
33. The Con by Tegan and Sara (44)
34. The Great Escape by Patrick Watson (33)
35. Everything by Michael Buble (42)
36. Love Hurts by Incubus (34)
37. Diamonds On The Inside by Ben Harper (37)
38. Southern Girl by Amos Lee (35)
39. The Hardest Part by Coldplay (57)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bKRZv6NGjdc
40. Your Heart Is An Empty Room by Death Cab For Cutie (66)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=b_rBoSpd5mo
41. Oceanside by The Decemberists (39)
42. Talk Shows On Mute by Incubus (40)
43. Supernatural Superserious by R.E.M. (70)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=A2iQmIKAIMo
44. The Blues by Switchfoot (43)
45. Tupelo Honey by Van Morrison (47)
46. Montebello Park by The Trews (46)
47. Lemon Parade by Tonic (45)
48. Thank You by The Redwalls (80)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zYlQFGBxXgE
49. Love Stoned by Justin Timberlake (51)
50. 1973 by James Blunt (41)
51. Anna Molly by Incubus (53)
52. No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature by The Guess Who (54)
53. A Long December by Counting Crows (38)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IZJiqiV-gWo
54. Some Surprise by The Cake Sale (Featuring Lisa Hannigan and Gary Lightbody) (58)
55. All I Ever Wanted (Live) by Brian Melo (90)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=W5yLcT5BbiU
56. Baby I Love Your Way by Bob Marley (59)
57. Michelle by The Beatles (36)
58. The Weight by The Band (61)
59. Let It Be by The Beatles (60)
60. Antichrist Television Blues by The Arcade Fire (98)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=olk8feBYHeg
61. No One's Gonna Love You by Band Of Horses (NR)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=93OTv6Cjk6U
62. Trouble by Coldplay (64)
63. Hard Candy by Counting Crows (NR)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MiEsXzn6wgk
64. The Crane Wife 3 by The Decemberists (62)
65. Your Song by Elton John (67)
66. If You're Gonna Leave by Emerson Hart (85)
67. A Time To Be So Small by Interpol (NR)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=xABZLAWYGAg
68. Girl In The War by Josh Ritter (68)
69. Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd (50)
70. Black Star (Acoustic) by Radiohead (49)
71. Jumpin' Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones (71)
72. With Or Without You by U2 (48)
73. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison (72)
74. Impossible Germany by Wilco (78)
75. Miller's Angels by Counting Crows (NR)
76. O Valencia by The Decemberists (55)
77. High Life by Counting Crows (65)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4L1a0YouHNc
78. Ashes Of American Flags by Wilco (75)
79. Elevator Love Letter by Stars (NR)
80. Can I Stay by Ray LaMontagne (81)
81. Million Faces by Paolo Nutini (69)
82. The River by Live (84)
83. Bedshaped by Keane (NR)
84. Nuclear Daydream by Joseph Arthur (NR)
85. Mind Games by John Lennon (NR)
86. Gotta Be Somebody's Blues by Jimmy Eat World (NR)
87. Tripping Billies by Dave Matthews with Tim Reynolds (86)
88. Sleep Don't Weep by Damien Rice (87)
89. Sullivan Street (Live) by Counting Crows (NR)
90. Hospital Beds by Cold War Kids (89)
91. Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles (NR)
92. Is There A Ghost? by Band Of Horses (63)
93. What Light by Wilco (NR)
94. Daylight Fading by Counting Crows (76)
95. Please Be Patient With Me by Wilco (73)
96. Have You Seen Me Lately? (Acoustic) by Counting Crows (74)
97. You Are My Face by Wilco (NR)
98. Los Angeles by Counting Crows (NR)
99. 1492 by Counting Crows (88)
100. St. Robinson In His Cadillac Dream (Live) by Counting Crows (94)

"Here comes the wind let your string unwind, run as fast as you can in your mind, back to a place that you never forgot, before everything was lost.."

The weather today is stifling, 27 and closer to 35 with the humidity. Sunday was a perfect 20 with a light breeze.
Saturday we were supposed to go and see our friends band play at a pub but we got there too late. As with most Saturday drinking nights we lost track of the time. We should have been there at 10 but we got there at 11. Despite this, the night ended up being very fun. A lot of people we knew where there and we split the time between listening to the other bands and sitting on the patio. For a small place it was very busy. I think we ended up crashing close to 5 or at least I did. I was surprisingly functionable Sunday and we had a good late breakfast. Followed by a relaxing and hangover curing walk along the river's paths. Gibbons Park is my favourite place in this entire city.
"Can you imagine a piece of the universe more fit for princes and kings? I'll give you ten of your cities for Marion Bridge and the pleasure it brings..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZdbqOj4XFfk
The above lyric is from Song For The Mira and it was featured in the Canadian movie Marion Bridge. I watch the movie last night and thought it was pretty good. It could be classified as a chick film starring Molly Parker (who is really good) and a young Ellen Page. Definitely before Juno. The link below provides information on the movie. It was a very Canadian movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0329355/
"I've got so many songs that you never heard, and they weren't about you...."
(The lyric above is from the song Further North by Jets To Brazil, I couldn't find a link so that you could hear but the band is really good)
Anyway I could easily replace the lyric with, I've got so many poems that you have never read, and they weren't about you. This one isn't about any one in particular, except maybe me.
The Flight and Sight Of A Wizard
The all-knowing wizard takes flight
Wearing a cloak of stars and moons
High above me he is quite a sight
Casting spells both good and bad
I am transfixed like a young child
Waiting for a gift from his hands
The answers to my deepest questions
Those I cannot figure out for myself
After all these years of introspection
Producing no love or understanding
Only agonizing doubt and endless debate
When I contemplate finding a woman
Extending myself beyond common courtesies
The fear of rejection has left me lonely
Life is too special not to share it
With someone who makes you happy
Whether it is for a short time or a long time
Countless walks through your favourite park
Observing seasonal changes in its nature
Conversations diverse or comfortably silent
Birds providing music and ducks amusement
When they crowd walkways with webbed feet
I am ready to fall under the right spell
Should it cast my heart under a feeling
One full of excitement but also calm
Hope grows as spring blooms and summer whispers
She is coming to flourish unlike previous years
When I let her wilt, burn or simply fade
Differences take time to be seen or shown
Their presentation is made on a daily basis
Yesterday, today and tomorrow do not have to match
Each of them can be unique and different
Hurt can exist but does not have to linger
A cloak temporary hiding possible happiness
The moon, the stars and the gifts
I have always held in my mind and heart
Too afraid to let them take flight
Not confident of their potential sight.
05/26/08
Well that is all I feel like blogging about today. The songs used today are Song For The Mira, today's version is by Brendan Grace, Further North by Jets To Brazil, title lyrics are from Emerson Hart's very good Flyin' and there is a link to it below.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Sj6ZO2bYrT4
Unwind your kite, you never know when the breeze will come and fly you away.
jr.

"All we care about is talking, talking only me and you....."

Last night I watched the movie 21 and found it enjoyable. It is based on the real life story of 5 students from MIT and their professor. They made big money in Las Vegas playing Black Jack and counting cards. Counting cards isn't illegal but will get you thrown out of any casino, if not worse. I liked Kevin Spacey in this movie, like I do most of the movies he is in. Jim Sturgess plays the lead role in this movie and is pretty good, I really liked him in Across The Universe. I have a feeling he will be appearing in many big movies in the near future. Kate Bosworth is cute as the female lead and love interest of Sturgess. Below is a link to information on the movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478087/
Watching Spacey, I got to thinking about my favourites movies with him in them. Here is a list.
Se7en
American Beauty
L.A. Confidential
The Usual Suspects
Glengarry Glen Ross
The Negotiator
21
"I saw her today at the reception, in her glass was a bleeding man, she was practiced at the art of deception, well I could tell by her blood-stained hands...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qzz1VEN1SEk
I wrote the following yesterday. It is basically about how life goes on, even if you can't figure it out.
You Can Never Figure It Out For Me
The little children play as usual
A car dealership is selling guns
After you buy a new car from them
Iraq and Afghanistan remain quagmires
Spring should be fully blooming
This May seems a little below average
Our sun seems a little less present
I am often reminded of myself
When making this simple observation
Disappearing from life is easy
Reappearing into life is hard
There are questions to answer
Without “you know” excuses
Specifics are required and neglected
Talking becomes less natural
If you do less of it each day
Practice is needed like children and bikes
I have lost track of my mistakes
They are scattered across streets
Houses change but realities do not
Memories are transposed with time
Calendars shrink or expand as needed
One year apart becomes ten
Yesterday is replaced by last year
Phone calls are not returned
Young adults replace little children
Their faces look vaguely familiar
New roses grow over old roses
Births follow funerals and love follows loss
Society forgets and remembers all at once
I am in between everything and nothing
Here but not really here at all
A puzzle completed or missing pieces
You can never figure it out for me
Thanks for trying and caring
A halo of light circles around you
When the sun shines down from above
Always staying beside you for me
I could never be as reliable
The clock is among my imagined enemies
We fight from morning until night
Eventually time knocks me out of commission
A few days and a few more days
Each time recovering gets worse
Pain lasts longer and digs deeper
Under skin meant to be nurtured
Instead it is too often abused
By my own hands and their movements
Children play oblivious to self destruction
Hopefully their genetics have spared them
What mine have not as of yet.
05/23/08
"The wild night is calling and all the girls walk by dressed up for each other and the boys do the boogie-woogie on the corner of the street and the people passin by just stare in wild wonder and the inside juke-box roars out just like thunder...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R9DCHf92AyM
I don't anticipate a wild night tonight but hopefully a fun night. I am probably going to go and see my friend's band Phantom of The Mind play.
The article below about a car dealership offering a free gun with a car purchase might just explain what is wrong with America. I am not going to rant about guns but guns kill, yes people kill but guns kill unnecessarily. Many situations are taken to another level by the presence of a fired arm. Being Canadian, I just can't understand the need to own a gun or a preconceived notion that I should be able to.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2008/05/22/5639301-ap.html
Today's weather looks like it could be better.
The music clips in today's blog are You Can't Always Get What What You Want by The Rolling Stones, Wild Night (original by Van Morrison, couldn't find a version by him, so you get some cover band), and below Young Folks by Peter, Bjorn and John.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=51V1VMkuyx0
I think I will always be young at heart.
john.

"Imagine me and you, I do......"

Last night I was watching Adaptation. A movie I have never seen before, it stars Nicholas Cage, Meryl Streep and Chris Cooper. The movie is based on the novel Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean and the screenplay is by Charlie Kaufman. Kaufman wrote himself and his twin brother into the script and the movie is basically his struggle to adapt Orlean's novel. It is complicated to follow at times but is very interesting. Cage plays Kaufman pathetically (in a good way), while playing his twin brother Donald with more confidence and Streep plays Orlean desperately, like she is searching for more than a mysterious orchid. Cooper is good as the focus of the book, orchid thief John Laroche. I had no idea where this movie was going and didn't see it going where it ended up going. Kaufman's struggle is trying to interpret another person's piece of writing and making it into a movie script. Most pieces of art are very individual and trying to get inside another person's head is very tough. I do a lot of writing and have trouble explaining it to myself, I could only imagine the trouble another person would have trying to explain it to themselves. The link below provides information about the movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0268126/
"A heart of gold but it lost its pride, beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes, I see your face in a new light...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=LFS5gd35LzU
I try and write something every night. Last night I must have been influenced by the movie as the title of the piece below is Orchids. In the movie Orlean realizes that an orchid is just a flower, perhaps more beautiful than others but still just a flower. The same can be applied to anything, you might meet the most beautiful person but in the end they are just a person. There are times when we want something to be more than it is and are often disappointed by it being what it is. I think when you are looking for love, you have to be prepared to find something that you weren't looking for. Nothing is ever going to be exactly like you expected. There has to be mutual feelings but there also has to be mutual acceptance. A mutual understanding that you were both looking and you both found something good. The something you found might not be exactly what you were looking for but could be enough to make you forget what you were looking for. Accepting is not settling.
Orchids
A metal ladder extends to the roof
Perfect circles of light spin through trees
Rainwater drips down from a window ledge
I am drying off on the greening grass
Cigarette smoke escapes through a window
Thoughts of cancer fill the spring air
Maniacs scream on a talk radio show
You are moving further out west
Where wheat used to be the king
I have dreamed of meeting a queen
From under my white and yellow ceiling
Women as unique as orchids
A moment of reflection before waking
Hearing the birds chirping and singing
Their morning sounds confirm my living
I doubt a happy life more than a sad death
Nuclear fusion occurs naturally in stars
My impending explosion will be less astronomical
A silent decline of once promising talents
Barely a whimper will be heard from me
After my voice breaks and summer flames
What I could not burn to the ground
There are enough ashes of previous lives
Buried under the freshly cut green grass
My favourite smells are born in nature
I cannot bottle them for another day
When there is someone to share them with
Luck does not stay around me for long
People are the same because I am difficult
With my need to be alone and introspective
Making a city seem like a country apart
You are seeping further out of me
Where freedom is a memory being forgotten
I should have had an easy life
The tools were given to me at a young age
A plentiful garden could have bloomed
With thousands of orchids for a woman
Should she welcome me naming one after her
Accepting my need to symbolize her beauty
Originality might not be uniquely me
I have tried reinventing and redefining love
Both do not work at winning their hearts
You either feel enough love or you do not
No amount of unique orchids will change this
Their beauty only reflects my sorrow.
05/22/08
"I've got no illusions about you, guess what, I never did, when I say, when I say I'll take it, I mean, I mean as is..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ycIJvAh3iZQ
I suppose the song above called As Is by Ani DiFranco appropriately follows my previous ramble and poem. Oddly enough it came on as I was writing the ramble, 1 of a couple thousand songs that could have came on.
Apparently Jessica Alba got secretly married and all of us males are supposed to be upset over this. I recognize that she is attractive but she really has never interested me. Though I am sure there a few men who are obsessed with her and are upset. It is okay guys, just believe when they divorce, you will be there to come to here rescue. I have never been big on Hollywood crushes, I like Natalie Portman but don't need to know everything about her. It is not like we will ever met. These men who become obsessed with models or actresses, should really spend their time finding and loving a real woman.
"So long, my luckless romance, my back is turned on you, should've known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=lsWsasqIoyk
I will admit much of the music I listen to is by male artists because I can relate to more of it. This doesn't mean that I don't listen to female artists because I do and there are a lot of good ones. The song above is called Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy, a project led by 22 year old Alison Sudol, the name of her very good first album is One Cell In The Sea.
There are facts you might know but when you read them as part of a piece of fiction they seem to leave more of an impression. The book I am currently reading called Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides tells the story of 3 generations of a Greek-American family. The current setting is 1932 Detroit and the following fact has stuck in my mind. There were 500,000 blacks living within a 25 square block radius. Eventually they would expand and take over much of Detroit but initially they were confined to such a small space. The main character in the book is a hermaphrodite based on an incestuous relationship that has lead to this gene mutation. Definitely an interesting book thus far.
"You put your girl up on a pedestal, then you wait for her to fall, I put my summer's back in a letter and I hide it from the world..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=deVpewZ2dGQ
Counting Crows were on Good Morning America this morning and we got two songs, Hanging Tree and Hard Candy. I would have rather have heard When I Dream Of Michelangelo which they were playing as GMA went to commercial and we got the ending of A Long December. I am sure someone recorded the whole concert and will put it up on Youtube. Above is a version of Hard Candy from the 2007 Jazz Fest in New Orleans.
I haven't done a word of the day for a while, today's word is androgynous. Neither clearly masculine nor clearly feminine in appearance: the androgynous look of many rock stars.
I found the following article about how the world balance of power is shifing away from the United States.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/21/opinion/21friedman.html?em&ex=1211688000&en=7b8b78e6ccea3d6c&ei=5070
Once again today the weather is very disappointing. It is very cloudy, the wind is brisk and it is 15 degrees. The sun smiles once an hour. This May has been very crappy and I will be happy when it is June.
I suppose today's blog has a little bit for everyone musically. Some Foo Fighters, Ani DiFranco, A Fine Frenzy, Counting Crows and below is the Turtles hit So Happy Together, which was used in the move Adaptation.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zixg-vIQBLM
I could adapt to some nicer weather.
jr.

"We used to roll around on the floor, get some Chinese delivered, listen to Led Zeppelin IV, it's been a while since....."

The sun has waited until now to make an appearance today. The now being shortly before 6 in the evening and it will probably take an hour or two to write this. I often get very distracted and become lost in the vast waste land of our cyber world.
I lost a four player scrabble game online yesterday to the word toluene. By definition it is a colourless, water-insoluble, flammable liquid used as a solvent in benzoic acid and TNT. The said word was worth 66 points and I was previously leading but don't really like those 4 player games. The letters are gone too quickly and if you are player number 4 like I was, you are up against it from the beginning.
(C7H8 for those chemists, I was never fond of chemistry)
"If you wrap yourself in daffodils, I will wrap myself in pain and if you're the queen of California, baby I am the king of the rain...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=PrjvN8O_LyU
Below is most of a live performance from Counting Crows. The concert took place at Sproul Plaza on the campus of UC Berkley. It was a free and relatively secret concert. The set list covered in the video below goes like this: Have You Seen Me Lately?, Hanging Tree, Mr. Jones, Goodnight Elisabeth, All My Friends (part of), Insignificant, When I Dream Of Michelangelo (part of) and a few seconds of A Long December. Once again they can be seen playing an outdoor concert on Good Morning America (ABC) tomorrow morning, most likely between 8-9, probably 3 or 4 songs will make it to air.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.fullscreen&videoid=33164108
"We're done lying for a living, the strange days have come and you're gone, either dead or dying......"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QUdDfgnTBXU
I suppose every day could be a strange day, if you analyzed it enough. I was bored last night as I am most nights and couldn't find a new movie to watch. So I decided to watch American Splendour again. The movie tells the story of Harvey Pekar and his comic American Splendour. A comic based on Harvey's real life and his job as a file clerk at a Cleveland Veteran's Affairs hospital. Where he would retire despite the cult following of his comic which was first published in 1976 and was acclaimed throughout the 1980's. Paul Giamatti plays Harvey and because the real Harvey is in the movie, we see how fairly close Giamatti is to the real Harvey. Pekar also gained cult status for his appearances on Late Night with David Letterman, where he was the butt of many Letterman jokes. The abuse reached a boiling point one night when Pekar went off on Letterman and the audience. I am not a fan of comic books but did enjoy this movie the first time and again last night.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0305206/
Here is Pekar's appearance in 1988 after the famous swearing appearance. This one is nearly as argumentative.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=iBr4NxujLvw
This one is Dave and Harvey taking a tour of Live @ 5.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Yk6oPsKZG_w
Also here is a list of my favourite movies with Paul Giamatti in them.
Cinderella Man
Saving Private Ryan
The Truman Show
Sideways
Donnie Brasco
Shoot 'Em Up
The Negotiator
The Illusionist
"On a plane, somewhere over the sea, above the rain, the bottle sets me free, I turn to stone, fall back in my seat, the cuts are gone but somehow I'm still bleeding..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fCbaMPrdH5s
Apparently there is a new American Idol; David Cook. I have never watched the show and have never had any interest to. I am not entirely sure the process is good for the music industry and despite its popularity, none of the winners have ever wowed me with their music. I think out of all the past winners only Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood seem like they have talent, not my taste though. As for Canadian Idol, out of all the winners, I only like one song by Brian Melo. Other than that neither program has brought amazing music into my life. Perhaps the general public knows something that I don't know or I know something that they don't know. Either way I could care less, I am not finding my music from a popularity contest on FOX.
I wonder what Matthew Good would have to say about American Idol, he has many opinions on various things. Some of today's lyrics and clips are from his music. Though directly below is Ramble On by Led Zeppelin, my favourite song by them. Directly below that is It's Been A While Since I Was Your Man by Mr. Good.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QxNVdT3fCME
http://youtube.com/watch?v=2sFs29INl2s
It's been a while since anything was anything.
john.

"You and I are like oil and water....."

If we could do over days, yesterday would be one of those days for me. I couldn't get anything right and made a few things wrong. Though if I were to be honest, I would do over about 90% of the days. Unfortunately none of us have this ability. 90% might seem high but I really think a few months ago it would have been 95%. No point complaining that I am not happy because only I can change that, it should be easy but really isn't.
Once again today the weather is absolutely crappy. It is 8 degrees, overcast, windy and ready to rain. I would rather it just rained, it is far less depressing than weather that looks like should be raining. Rain is actually very therapeutic, at least in my mind. I actually think I need to snap at someone for something stupid they have done. But since I often do stupid things, I stop myself. Though I often think I am too laid back and don't say what I really want to say enough. I think this is because it keeps others from really saying what they want to say to me. Let them be and they will let you be. Whatever it is you are being.
"Love hurts but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zxPcmi1U25g
The diversity of Incubus is what makes them one of my favourite bands. They have a great ability to produce straight forward rock songs mixed with club beats along with rock songs that are full of meaning without being sappy. Above is one of my recent favourites called Love Hurts and yes it does, not having love can also hurt.
I wrote the following yesterday. It is called Absolutely Real Or Completely Imagined. There are times when I wonder if what I am feeling is real or if it is just something I imagined. There are also times when I wonder if I imagine feelings that they will become real. I am sure it isn't as complex as I make it but my brain has been programmed to make it as complex as possible.
Absolutely Real Or Completely Imagined
I am used to fighting myself
Resulting in multiple wounds
Most of them are invisible to you
Though my eyes see everything
Absolutely real or completely imagined
I do not think it really matters
There is no explanation for these fights
Human nature or complex genetics
I could not really tell you
Words often fail me
Despite their ability to create
The most beautiful imagery
Coloured ribbons and blue sky
I would fly beyond them
If contentment existed there
Down here under night
There is nothing but instability
Skin crawling with worrying
Spiders gathering in cobwebs
Where dust lingers and stays
I cannot touch anything real
All of my inspiration has died
There was no funeral or flowers
Only a sinking feeling of inadequacy
When it came time to speak
I had no mouth or eyes
They had been replaced by rocks
More of a weight to carry
Up and down these spring hills
Covered with yellow dandelions
Thicker than wild purple violets
I will always be a melancholy blue
The sun might burn me red
Should exposure be heightened
Life is not lived on the outside
Unfortunately it is lived on the inside
Where the doubts live like kings
I am a beggar to my own thoughts
Happy for an occasional good day
The escape of a familiar movie
Smiling for less than two hours
Longer than a favourite song
Stuck on repeat for an hour
I have been trying and failing
Longer than a movie or a song
No matter how often they are repeated.
05/20/08
"Still and transfixed, the electric sheep sheep are dreaming up your fate and judge you from the card castle, comfort of America...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xm5Ul18DasI
Talk Shows On Mute might be my favourite Incubus song, I absolutely dig it. The only "talk show" I watch is Letterman, I have since the late 1980's and I am not going to stop now. Others (and not Leno) are funnier and hipper but Dave is like an old friend. I only watch other "talk shows" if there is music or a guest I like, usually music. Occasionally I will watch Ferguson just for his monologue.
Sticking with Letterman, below are a bunch of my favourite clips from his show.
The first is Jeff Dunham and Walter doing Ventriloquism.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=D60yjEbQnDg
The second is Borat making his first appearance on Letterman.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NvQScRuZj9s
The third is Richard Simmons and his exploding steamer.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3SCJLlSf21Y
The fourth is Frank Caliendo as John Madden.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=XBW7ysPcbT0
The fifth is Crispin Glover absolutely fucked up in 1987.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ALapHYNSmoA
The sixth is Diet Coke and Mentos on the street.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3L4BuJXObA0
The seventh is Dave at McDonald's.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AtPGdOs7zOM
The eighth is Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lawler, lots of swearing.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kv73yzYuE_M
The ninth is Bill O'Reilly and Dave going at it over politics and Iraq.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uKftpGB03vU
The tenth is Jay Leno on Letterman in 1983.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=o25FiglIujU
The eleventh is Norm MacDonald after being fired from SNL, long clip.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tudRETrphxk
The twelfth is Dave fighting Butterscotch the miniature horse.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=b1UslLhkQuc
That is enough for now. One last thing on talk shows, Counting Crows will be on Good Morning America for an outdoor performance this Friday, I imagine they will be playing a few songs between 8:30-9:00 am. Below is Mr. Jones from their last performance on the show.
"We all want something beautiful, I wish I was beautiful..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jDN7v8kHmbA
Below is an article from the New York Times, explaining how an older brain might actually be a wiser brain. It just takes longer for the information to be filtered through the brain because there is more information. But once all the information is processed, there are more experiences to build upon.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/20/health/research/20brai.html?em&ex=1211515200&en=6b45984e523a9f97&ei=5087%0A
"Hey megalomaniac, you're no Jesus, yeah, you're no fucking Elvis..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=iFnnV595byE
If Talk Shows On Mute isn't my favourite Incubus song than Megalomaniac is. Someone suffering from megalomania might have illusions of grandeur and think they are smarter or more powerful than they really are. I wonder what the opposite is. Minimomaniac.
Oil and water. Me and most people.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7SF9b5QgMCs
jr.

"Well I never should have settled down, hanging around in a one horse town and everyone started sleeping around..."

I can't believe a fantasy baseball league can put me in such a bad mood. Though this one has and is, and isn't worth the trouble. I suppose like anything you try to organize with a bunch of people, some things are going to work and others are not going to work. This one is definitely not working. I suppose this is why I usually never try to make plans with a big group of people, it just isn't worth the effort. There is no way to please everyone and if you try, you only make things worse.
"We'll pay you handsomely (but you see) don't steal our sun...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tyiiuh8TIE8
The sun has made a better effort to shine today than it did on Sunday or Monday. Though the wind is still strong and the temperature is 16, which would be nice without the wind. I can't believe how much our lives are influenced by the weather. It can really alter our moods, or at least mine in particular. 17 or 18 with little wind and lots of sun would be perfect for me.
"It's such a shame when old friends fall out...over new lovers...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=KwUb7f38SNA
I couldn't find anything interesting to watch last night, especially after Detroit went up 2-0 on Dallas early in the hockey game. Detroit won 4-1 and will play Pittsburgh in the Stanley Cup Finals beginning Saturday. Pittsburgh in 6 or 7. Anyway I decided to watch Garden State again, I hadn't watched it in at least 2 years but really love it. I was quickly reminded of why while watching it unfold. Natalie Portman is perfectly adorable in the movie and falling in love with a girl like that would be easy, if life was fiction. Go rent it, if you haven't seen it.
"I took you for granted, I took fate as a rule...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZU2-AS9qGMk
Below is an article about the most peaceful countries in the world, Canada isn't even in the top 10, I am sure this has something to do with our proximity to the United States.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080520/world/peace_index
Since it is Tuesday my music countdown is below, the same #1 and 9 other songs by my favourite band Counting Crows. Being biased isn't such a bad thing. Spending too much time trying to please others is.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4z5LkgjBSRE
Today's lyrics and clips are from The Thrills.
jr.

Top 100 Songs Played This Year On My iTunes Player
1. You Can't Count On Me by Counting Crows (1)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=YHrH88JtxaM
2. Creep by Radiohead (2)
3. The One I Love by David Gray (5)
4. Thinking About You by Norah Jones (13)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6DuPr3GuyvQ
5. Guaranteed by Eddie Vedder (6)
6. When I Dream Of Michelangelo by Counting Crows (3)
7. Have You Ever Seen The Rain? by C.C.R. (4)
8. Cowboys by Counting Crows (8)
9. Say It To Me Now by Glen Hansard (9)
10. One by U2 (15)
11. Long Road To Ruin by Foo Fighters (7)
12. Waiting by City and Colour (22)
13. Blanket Of Ghosts by Dustin Kensrue (21)
14. Falling Slowly by The Frames (27)
15. If I Had Eyes by Jack Johnson (10)
16. Sunday Morning Coming Down (Live) by Johnny Cash (11)
17. When You Were Young by The Killers (33)
18. Calling All Friends by Low Stars (19)
19. Always by Neverending White Lights (12)
20. Empty by Ray LaMontagne (14)
21. Everybody Knows by Ryan Adams (16)
22. Hannah by Ray LaMontagne (17)
23. The Bends by Radiohead (35)
24. Imitation Of Life by R.E.M. (25)
25. Wonderwall by Oasis (18)
26. My List by The Killers (39)
27. Boy With A Coin by Iron and Wine (32)
28. Hard Sun by Eddie Vedder (20)
29. Society by Eddie Vedder (23)
30. NYC by Interpol (24)
31. Let It Ride by Ryan Adams (26)
32. Where The Streets Have No Name by U2 (37)
33. The Great Escape by Patrick Watson (34)
34. Love Hurts by Incubus (38)
35. Southern Girl by Amos Lee (28)
36. Michelle by The Beatles (29)
37. Diamonds On The Inside by Ben Harper (30)
38. A Long December by Counting Crows (48)
39. Oceanside by The Decemberists (53)
40. Talk Shows On Mute by Incubus (31)
41. 1973 by James Blunt (86)
42. Everything by Michael Buble (44)
43. The Blues by Switchfoot (42)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VwvKcDaDB9s
44. The Con by Tegan and Sara (64)
45. Lemon Parade by Tonic (41)
46. Montebello Park by The Trews (36)
47. Tupelo Honey by Van Morrison (40)
48. With Or Without You by U2 (63)
49. Black Star (Acoustic) by Radiohead (43)
50. Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd (55)
51. Love Stoned by Justin Timberlake (45)
52. You're Beautiful (Acoustic) by James Blunt (46)
53. Anna Molly by Incubus (54)
54. No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature by The Guess Who (47)
55. O Valencia by The Decemberists (85)
56. Miller's Angels by Counting Crows (96)
57. The Hardest Part by Coldplay (58)
58. Some Surprise by The Cake Sale (Featuring Lisa Hannigan and Gary Lightbody) (71)
59. Baby I Love Your Way by Bob Marley (49)
60. Let It Be by The Beatles (50)
61. The Weight by The Band (73)
62. The Crane Wife 3 by The Decemberists (NR)
63. Is There A Ghost? by Band Of Horses (77)
64. Trouble by Coldplay (51)
65. High Life by Counting Crows (52)
66. Your Heart Is An Empty Room by Death Cab For Cutie (67)
67. Your Song by Elton John (66)
68. Girl In The War by Josh Ritter (87)
69. Million Faces by Paolo Nutini (65)
70. Supernatural Superserious by R.E.M. (97)
71. Jumpin' Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones (56)
72. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison (62)
73. Please Be Patient With Me by Wilco (NR)
74. Have You Seen Me Lately? (Acoustic) by Counting Crows (59)
75. Ashes Of American Flags by Wilco (61)
76. Daylight Fading by Counting Crows (70)
77. Club Thing by Yoav (60)
78. Impossible Germany by Wilco (NR)
79. Elevator Love Letter by Stars (NR)
80. Thank You by The Redwalls (93)
81. Can I Stay by Ray LaMontagne (NR)
82. Around The Sun by R.E.M. (91)
83. Off He Goes by Pearl Jam (NR)
84. The River by Live (89)
85. If You're Gonna Leave by Emerson Hart (NR)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=a0tK70gN190
86. Tripping Billies (Live) by Dave Matthews with Tim Reynolds (68)
87. Sleep Don't Weep by Damien Rice (69)
88. 1492 by Counting Crows (98)
89. Hospital Beds by Cold War Kids (NR)
90. All I Ever Wanted (Live) by Brian Melo (72)
91. Against The Wind by Bob Seger (79)
92. Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles (NR)
93. Rootless Tree by Damien Rice (82)
94. St. Robinson In His Cadillac Dream (Live) by Counting Crows (81)
95. Twist and Shout by The Beatles (95)
96. Elephant by Damien Rice (74)
97. Long Line Of Pain by Amos Lee (75)
98. Antichrist Television Blues by The Arcade Fire (76)
99. Doesn't Remind Me by Audioslave (NR)
100. Up On Cripple Creek by The Band (NR)

"Listen to the streets there's a heartbeat missing in the city..."

The weather sucks again today. It is a holiday here in Canada; Victoria Day. We are celebrating the birthday of Queen Victoria and it is also a day to celebrate the birthday of our reigning sovereign's birthday; Queen Elizabeth II. Though her birthday is actually April 21. Canada has some interesting quirks which make us unique and also makes me question, if we shouldn't be rewriting our own history and celebrating the lives of Canadians instead of British Monarchs. After all we are an independent country.
I think holiday Monday's are the most boring days of the year, everyone is tired from the weekend and not wanting to do anything, myself included. They are the most quiet of days for me and crappy weather makes them even quieter.
"Went out on the street today, the Canadian Dream was as far away as it’s ever been..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zo_S13SYeZw
Since it was quiet and I was bored, I decided to try writing something and the results are below.
Rejecting Myself
The sky looks like a smoker’s lungs
Intermittent rain spoils Victoria Day
I have been closing doors and windows
Not finding inspiration beyond them
Almost perfect girls are on my mind
I do not think almost perfection is in me
The weekend has extended into Monday
My most recent search yielded nothing
Forming new friendships are becoming rare
There always seems to be things missing
Whether they are not in me or someone else
I can never really tell and can only guess
Why it seems like moments are being lost
Slipping through fingers without commitments
Unable to decide between trying and failing
Needing to love but afraid of being loved
I have always protected my heart
With invisible reasons why it should not be loved
They come to me with great ease and clarity
A beautiful illusion of permanent loneliness
This might be my own field of gold
I can deny anyone entrance into
A selfish keeper of stories and jokes
Songs, poems, books, dreams and embraces
All the rejection is avoided by rejecting myself
Therefore no one but me can hurt me
I am already alone and it is a known feeling
Steady rain splashes on the balcony
I have been carefully writing and thinking
Piecing together memories and opinions
Ready to accept the consequences of my changing
There is not enough forgiveness left in me
For the moments we have lost or missed
They are gone like the sun today
Perhaps tomorrow they will return
When the light is different
When the music is brighter
For now melancholy sounds vibrate
A heart beating but not loving
Anything more than it did yesterday.
05/19/08
"I can never bring them back but those days remain inside the very heart of me, my memories are white and black but the song's the same, it plays in every part of me..."
http://www.imeem.com/tikasmusic/music/wINimCoi/sam_roberts_every_part_of_me/
Below is an article from the New York Times about how Germany is thriving with $8 a gallon gas whereas the U.S. is struggling with $4+ a gallon gas. As gas prices here in North America continue to rise it will be up to us to find alternatives and demand alternatives from our countries and the companies working inside our countries.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/19/opinion/19krugman.html?_r=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin
"'Cause there's no road that ain't a hard road to travel on..."
Below is a link to my friends Jeremiah and Jason's band Phantom Of The Mind, they have some new demos up for our listening pleasure. They are also playing a show this Saturday here and I am looking forward to it because I haven't seen them playing since January.
http://www.myspace.com/phantomofthemind
I think I will do some reading to pass the early evening. At least the sun has decided to make an appearance but it is only 11 degrees.
The Gate below is a really good song by Sam Roberts, along with Canadian Dream, Every Part Of Me and Hard Road scatter throughout this blog.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=h0XQB5Jq6yw
jr.

"I've been up for 38 hours and it don't look like sleep's coming soon, cause I could break like a bird or I could swallow the sea........."

Well I haven't been up for 38 hours but it feels like I haven't slept well in a very long time. Last night James, Jeff and I (aka the Three Jamigos) hung out drinking until we decided after midnight that we should go to a bar. We initially tried to go to the Thorny Devil but it was lined up and we don't do lines. So we decided to try Cowboys, it wasn't overly busy and kind of boring. I suppose this is what we get for deciding to go to the bar late. Though there were a lot of goofy people and a few rather good looking women, one in particular trusting enough to leave her purse with strangers while she danced. At least the live band wasn't terrible and didn't play all country stuff. There was the usual Sweet Home Alabama and Brown Eyed Girl to make up for some of the country crap. The thing about country music is if you listen to enough off it, it all starts sounding the same. This is why you need country rock songs.
We had amazing pizza after the bar, the best Domino's I have ever had. Jeff and I crashed at James's and I got the short couch. This might explain why my back and legs are stiff and sore today. Today's breakfast choice was Richie's and it was good, as it usually is. The restaurant was busy as we arrived during the after church rush and just before the hungover crowd.
"Got two reasons why I cry away each lonely night, the first one's named Sweet Anne Marie and she's my hearts delight, the second one is prison, baby, the sheriff's on my trial and if he catches up to me, I will spend my life in jail....."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jPhTDP6j5Hw
Above is an acoustic cover of the Grateful Dead's Friend Of The Devil by Counting Crows. I like the way they are able to take a song and recreate it as their own, whether it is better than the original or not doesn't matter, they are songs they like to play and it comes through in the performance.
The weather has been absolutely crappy all day. I first heard the rain around 7 am, I am a light sleeper when I am not in my own bed. The rest of the day has just been overcast, windy and cold. It is 8 degrees right now and once again typical May 24 long weekend weather. The type of weather that allows you not to feel bad being hungover and watching sports.
Team Canada lost a heartbreaking game against Russia today at the World Hockey Championship, leading 4-2 Canada lost 5-4 in overtime. Kovalchuk's goal gave the Russians the Gold medal and Canada silver. Of course with the NHL playoffs still going on, neither team had their very best but Russia will be a major force at the 2010 Olympics.
The Pittsburgh Penguins are the first team in the Stanley Cup finals beating Philadelphia 6-0 today and winning the series 4-1. They will play Detroit or Dallas, I will pick them to win against either of those teams. Pittsburgh is young and fun to watch.
Despite 45 points LeBron James and Cleveland are out of the NBA playoffs losing game 7 against Boston. James nearly had a legendary game and almost got his team an upset over Boston. He needs more of a surrounding cast before he is able to bring Cleveland a championship.
Plus the Jays have won 6-5 after a couple rain delays. Too bad for viewers on Sportsnet Ontario we didn't get to see the finish of it.
Why not complete my sports watching with a little tennis, Rafal Nadal beat Roger Federer in Hamburg for his 11th Masters Series championship. Nadal is 108-2 (yes 2) in his last 110 clay court matches, one of those loses was to Federer at the same tourament last year. So sweet revenge was today's victory.
Of course it isn't like I watched everything completely, I am a channel flipper and nothing keeps my attention completely. Sunday's this time of the year are sports heaven. At least if you are single, if not it might be hell.
"These train conversations are passing me by and I don't have nothing to say, you get what you pay for but I just had no intention of living this way..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Qq_XmbU7ziY
The following is from Middlesex by Jeffery Eugenides. It is a pretty good read thus far. "We Greeks get married in circles, to impress upon ourselves the essential matrimonial facts: that to be happy you have to find variety in repetition; that to go foward you have to come back where you began."
Everything is moving towards an ending and most of the time we wish we could begin again.
I suppose the following are perfect lyrics for me today.
"I need a raincoat, I need a big love..." from Rain King/Raining In Baltimore above or "it's a dangerous time for a heart on a wire..." from Goodnight L.A. below.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=YnlA0t9Ub7A
jr.

"I said my heart, it don't beat, it don't beat the way it used to and my eyes don't recognize you no more......"

God, it is windy today. The sky can't decide whether it wants to be white clouds and blue sky, dark clouds and rain, or blue skies and sun. It is a very typical May long weekend weather, a little bit of everything.
Last night some of us boys went to Joe Kools for a night of beverages and other festivities. It isn't my favourite bar in London but I like it better than I used to, perhaps because I am older. Though having your ass grabbed by someone who looks like she could be older than your mother is still a little weird. All the while wondering if some of the other women are old enough to be having adult beverages. I must admit I did enjoy the night and it's randomness. For relatively unassuming guys we do have some interesting nights. Alcohol helps or maybe it hinders. The verdict is probably still pending.
After the night, breakfast at the Campus Hi-Fi was very much needed. I should actually be napping, because it is Saturday and most likely another night among the shadows is on the menu. I tried to read on our balcony but it was too windy and my head hurt, so I basically lied there listening to some live Counting Crows. There could be worse ways to spend a Saturday afternoon.
"Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zLp5ygeD8co
Thursday night was poker night and we had a good turnout of 8 players. I was up $70 or so until D.T. and his good luck machine showed up. The guy is a very good player, unpredictable and willing to gamble, which makes him extremely tough to go up against. Plus there is a horse shoe somewhere up his ass. The game was really loose with lots of big pots, it was actually a very enjoyable night of cards. I ended the night up $35 which was better than I expected as my own luck turned after it had been gold earlier in the night.
"The good old days, the honest man; the restless heart, the Promised Land
A subtle kiss that no one sees; a broken wrist and a big trapeze..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=8cFDzSvKQbY
I really like the Killers and in particular the song above Read My Mind. Very good driving song.
Wednesday night I watched a movie called Grace Is gone. It stars John Cusack as the husband of an American soldier who is killed in Iraq. Upon hearing the news of his wife's death Cusack decides to take his daughters on a trip across America from Illinois to Enchanted Gardens in Florida. Cusack is very good as an emotionally guarded father and the girls who play his 12 and 8 year old daughters are excellent. This movie is very sad, as you get to know the girls and at the same time know their lives are going to change very soon. There are certain things in life we would like to put off telling others but eventually have to. The movie is slightly political because it asks the very honest question of whether these soldiers are dying for anything. Are these little girls losing their mother in a country where she shouldn't be fighting. The real review is below.
http://movies.nytimes.com/2007/12/07/movies/07grac.html?ex=1354683600&en=c4ae1f67fd2445a1&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
I think John Cusack is underrated as an actor because he plays a lot of roles that are very similar but for me having him in a movie is like seeing an old friend. A list of my favourite movies with him in them are below.
Being John Malkovich
High Fidelity
Gross Pointe Blank
Eight Men Out
Sixteen Candles
Runaway Jury
Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil
Must Love Dogs
There are some reasons which will be easily known and there are other reasons which are not so easily known. Perhaps we and in particular me, don't have to know all the reasons especially in the heart's universe.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=T1dSkEHQCQU
john.

"I walked across an empty land, I knew the pathway like the back of my hand........"

Gone are the nearly clear blue skies of yesterday. It has been raining and depressing outside for most of the day. We do need the rain or so I am told.
I was watching the coverage coming from China and the destruction caused by Monday's earthquake is really bad. They are just starting to dig under the rocks looking for survivors, there are few. A girl was pulled from the rubble after 50 hours and looked to be in good condition. The number of missing or dead are becoming staggering, approaching 50,000 by some counts. The number of dead will continue to rise because China is slow in accepting aid and giving access to aid workers. The initial hours are the most important and many of the aid agencies are stuck in red tape. China is a country of endless red tape. This tragedy is not going to change this fact.
"Time goes by at such a pace, it's funny how it's easy to forget her face, you hide the cracks, the facts will find you, turn your back and leave the lonely days behind you now..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QC1fUaeTD-c
I wrote the following piece this afternoon. It is basically about what it feels like to not be able to recognize yourself or others.
Undistinguishable
I was wondering about love
The sky was basically blue
A few traces of white lingered
Half of Earth’s moon shadowed
The sun was at its May best
A coloured man played his drums
Skin and faces passed by
Some looked familiar and some not
I wanted to touch a few
Their skin looked smooth and sexy
Deep eyes full of mystery
Perfect women to dream with
When sleep arrives after pleasure
A horn honks and words are screamed
Some people are never happy
I am nothing but lonely
The clock chimes above in its tower
Another day turned by invisible hands
A crane lifts me to unbelievable heights
Buildings and houses become smaller
Miniature people enter and leave them
Their faces completely undistinguishable
I see mine this way in the mirror
Every morning after I wake up
The night has written its secrets
Across the bridge of my nose
Cutting my face into two sections
Sort of bad and really bad
Terrible is sleeping completely alone
When you should not be
I was dreaming about loss
The sun was barely rising
A few rays of red emerged
All of the Earth’s moon lingered
May was not yet at her best
Thinking too much is a curse
Nothing good can come from it
I had forgotten about you
For the length of an afternoon
Until I realized where I was
Small birds approached and retreated
You would have fed them
Loving too much is a gift
Letting go of it is tough.
05/14/08
"I walk along these hillsides in the summer beneath the sunshine. I am feathered by the moonlight falling down on me...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NIUAWqLFU9o
Above is a beautiful acoustic version of A Murder Of One by Counting Crows. Adam Duritz once explain the song in the following way: "I can remember being eight years old and having infinite possibilities. But life ends up being so much less that we thought it would be when we were kids, with relationships that are so empty and stupid and brutal. If you don't find a way to break the chain and change in some way, then you wind up, as the rhyme goes: a murder of one, for sorrow."
Somehow Canadian serial killer Clifford Olson has got himself a Myspace page. Of course there is the obvious outrage from his victims families over this and they want the page taken down. Correction Canada claims it is impossible for him to have a page because he is not given the Internet freedom needed. It is possible that the site could be a fake, I tried to find the page but couldn't. Below is a link to the article about the page and there is a link to Olson's page on Wikipedia.
http://www.canada.com/topics/news/national/story.html?id=6986394a-cf40-4768-aa23-0ea5628045d4
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clifford_Olson
"There are days when outside your window, I see my reflection as I slowly pass and I long for this mirrored perspective when we'll be lovers, lovers at last...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JmS0Kjxs2v4
A couple of days ago I was blogging about Death Cab For Cutie and the link above is from their performance on Letterman last night. I thought it was pretty good, I am not sure if I am going to buy or download their new album. Yes, I still buy the occasional album (CD). Album just sounds so much better.
So John Edwards has decided to endorse Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination and this might just be the final nail in Clinton's coffin. She's fought the good and bad fight long enough, time to move on.
"This is the last time that I will show my face..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gppLf4XduoI
In a surprise move today Justine Henin has decided to retire from tennis. Henin is currently ranked #1 on the WTA tour. Henin retires at 25 having won 41 singles tournament titles including 7 Grand Slam wins, 4 French, 2 U.S. Open and 1 Australian Open title. She also won a gold medal in 2004 at the Athens summer Olympics. She was 493-107, an awesome winning percentage of 82% and won just under 20 million dollars. Success on the court for Justine came with personal failures off the court. Her mother died when she was 12, an older sister died before Justine was born, she went years without privately speaking with her father, her older brother was in a serious car accident and she is currently separated from her husband. She has struggled this year and time might have finally caught up to her. Tennis has a short career span, at the elite level. Where Justine wanted to be remembered at and not below the best. Few people choose to leave at the top of their sport and she has decided to. Which is admirable.
There are places only we know as being special. They might seem completely ordinary to anyone else but to us they are more. Going there is not always easy because our memories want to bring everyone we loved and lost along with us.
Keane is a great band, check them out.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qVOa4-JwdV8
john.

"I want to feel sunlight on my face......"

It is Tuesday and the countdown is below. You Can't Count On Me by Counting Crows remains at #1, it is my countdown after all.
So it was a beautiful day today, breezy and close to 20 degrees, a nearly clear blue sky and sun. A perfect day for a movie matinee. Well not exactly but I went to see Iron Man. I pretty much enjoyed it. I liked Downey's charming sarcasm and the fact that they gave Paltrow as little as possible to do or say. She didn't ruin the movie and looked good. Jeff Bridges is excellent as the "bad guy"/"back stabber". The actions sequences are pretty good, they reminded me a lot of Transformers. This is a #1 movie that deserves to be. A better review is below.
http://movies.nytimes.com/2008/05/02/movies/02iron.html?ref=movies
Yesterday I watched Elizabeth: The Golden Age because I was bored, it was alright. Anything with Blanchett in it is worth its time, she is that good. Though it is surprising that she has only 1 Oscar out of her 4 nominations.
I bought a new book today called Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (author of The Virgin Suicides) and am looking forward to reading it. It is a Pulitzer Prize winning book and hopefully I find it as good as their judges did. I finished Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures by Vincent Lam which was a decent book. I think I have found my reading attention grove which I thought I had lost during last autumn.
Not much of a blog, it is currently 15 and dusk is settling in. Mr. Bob Cole tells me it is 2-1 for Pittsburgh over Philadelphia. I did feel sunlight on my face today.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GpVbLm4TN3g
jr.

Top 100 Songs Played This Year On My iTunes Player
1. You Can't Count On Me by Counting Crows (1)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=EYfnEYVpSe8
2. Creep by Radiohead (3)
3. When I Dream Of Michelangelo by Counting Crows (2)
4. Have You Ever Seen The Rain? by C.C.R. (5)
5. The One I Love by David Gray (4)
6. Guaranteed by Eddie Vedder (18)
7. Long Road To Ruin by Foo Fighters (6)
8. Cowboys by Counting Crows (10)
9. Say It To Me Now by Glen Hansard (11)
10. If I Had Eyes by Jack Johnson (9)
11. Sunday Morning Coming Down (Live) by Johnny Cash (8)
12. Always by Neverending White Lights (12)
13. Thinking About You by Norah Jones (7)
14. Empty by Ray LaMontagne (13)
15. One by U2 (14)
16. Everybody Knows by Ryan Adams (34)
17. Hannah by Ray LaMontagne (24)
18. Wonderwall by Oasis (16)
19. Calling All Friends by Low Stars (17)
20. Hard Sun by Eddie Vedder (20)
21. Blanket Of Ghosts by Dustin Kensrue (19)
22. Waiting by City and Colour (44)
23. Society by Eddie Vedder (21)
24. NYC by Interpol (25)
25. Imitation Of Life by R.E.M. (15)
26. Let It Ride by Ryan Adams (23)
27. Falling Slowly by The Frames (26)
28. Southern Girl by Amos Lee (27)
29. Michelle by The Beatles (47)
30. Diamonds On The Inside by Ben Harper (46)
31. Talk Shows On Mute by Incubus (40)
32. Boy With A Coin by Iron and Wine (29)
33. When You Were Young by The Killers (30)
34. The Great Escape by Patrick Watson (32)
35. The Bends by Radiohead (33)
36. Montebello Park by The Trews (38)
37. Where The Streets Have No Name by U2 (22)
38. Love Hurts by Incubus (28)
39. My List by The Killers (37)
40. Tupelo Honey by Van Morrison (36)
41. Lemon Parade by Tonic (35)
42. The Blues by Switchfoot (57)
43. Black Star (Acoustic) by Radiohead (56)
44. Everything by Micheal Buble (31)
45. Love Stoned by Justin Timberlake (55)
46. You're Beautiful (Acoustic) by James Blunt (54)
47. No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature by The Guess Who (41)
48. A Long December by Counting Crows (48)
49. Baby I Love Your Way by Bob Marley (45)
50. Let It Be by The Beatles (50)
51. Trouble by Coldplay (NR)
52. High Life by Counting Crows (66)
53. Oceanside by The Decemberists (42)
54. Anna Molly by Incubus (53)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=p93XOlLoFws
55. Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd (62)
56. Jumpin' Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones (39)
57. Please Be Patient With Me by Wilco (58)
58. The Hardest Part by Coldplay (79)
59. Have You Seen Me Lately? (Acoustic) by Counting Crows (43)
60. Club Thing by Yoav (90)
61. Ashes Of American Flags by Wilco (96)
62. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison (97)
63. With Or Without You by U2 (59)
64. The Con by Tegan and Sara (98)
65. Million Faces by Paolo Nutini (NR)
66. Your Song by Elton John (NR)
67. Your Heart Is An Empty Room by Death Cab For Cutie (64)
68. Tripping Billies (Live) by Dave Matthews with Tim Reynolds (52)
69. Sleep Don't Weep by Damien Rice (51)
70. Daylight Fading by Counting Crows (92)
71. Some Surprise by The Cake Sale (Featuring Lisa Hannigan and Gary Lightbody) (78)
72. All I Ever Wanted (Live) by Brian Melo (77)
73. The Weight by The Band (49)
74. Elephant by Damien Rice (69)
75. Long Line Of Pain by Amos Lee (68)
76. Antichrist Television Blues by The Arcade Fire (67)
77. Is There A Ghost? by Band Of Horses (73)
78. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds by The Beatles (74)
79. Against The Wind by Bob Seger (75)
80. No Breaks by The Bravery (76)
81. St. Robinson In His Cadillac Dream (Live) by Counting Crows (71)
82. Rootless Tree by Damien Rice (65)
83. So Long, So Long by Dashboard Confessional with Adam Duritz (81)
84. Satellite (Live) by Dave Matthews with Tim Reynolds (NR)
85. O Valencia by The Decemberists (93)
86. 1973 by James Blunt (83)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uWeqeQkjLto
87. Girl In The War by Josh Ritter (NR)
88. Ramble On by Led Zeppelin (84)
89. The River by Live (63)
90. Alert Status Red by Matthew Good (61)
91. Around The Sun by R.E.M. (NR)
92. Jigsaw Falling Into Place by Radiohead (60)
93. Thank You by The Redwalls (88)
94. You Are My Face by Wilco (NR)
95. Twist and Shout by The Beatles (91)
96. Miller's Angels by Counting Crows (70)
97. Supernatural Superserious by R.E.M. (NR)
98. 1492 by Counting Crows (80)
99. Rain King (Acoustic) by Counting Crows (NR)
100. Ghost Train by Counting Crows (NR)

"Used to have so many plans, something always seemed to turn out wrong, never could catch up to you, moving on and doing all you've done..."

There have always been natural disasters throughout history. So what happened last week in Myanmar and today in China should not surprise anyone. Cyclones are naturally occurring events as are earthquakes. The problem facing the world in 2008 is that many of our countries are over populated. This means when natural disasters hit they bring more death than necessary. The earthquake that hit China today has already killed over 10,000 in a country of over 1.3 Billion people. China makes up 20% of the world's population and the world's population has doubled since 1960. I really think nature is continuing about its normal sequence of events but its storms are more deadly because there are more of us. Global Warming might play a factor in contributing to more freak storms but this is also because there are more of us warming up our planet. I would never want to sound unsympathetic but these events are nature's way of controlling our planet. There will be another major plague in the next 100 years and it will get our population down to sustainable levels. It is unfortunate but it is necessary.
"Oh If I was a train, I would never slow down with my head in the sky and the world going by, every nowhere town..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3BoLqe8wJPM
After the rain and before the rain, I wrote the following piece. It is basically a continuation of my opinions above. It is called Population Control.
Population Control
We are not doing a good job
Controlling our planet’s population
Therefore nature is rescuing herself
With cyclones and earthquakes
Myanmar last week and China today
The poorest people always die
Because there are too many of them
It might not be right to say
But it is correct and necessary
They reproduce above their subsistence level
Barely able to look after themselves
They have too many children
Who never stand a chance
When crisis situations arrive
I watch the television, CNN
Between campaigns and wars
There are stories of world devastation
My eyes barely blink for them
Not because I do not care
But I know it is only natural
Nature will control our population
If we cannot do its ourselves
I live in a beautifully large country
With a birth rate of slightly over 1.5
Our equally beautiful women
Know it is a privilege to be a mother
Children here are not over worked
Before they reach the age of ten
Sure we are not perfect or claim to be
Though when disaster strikes us
We are not overcrowded with people
Perhaps this is why nature is kind to us
Allowing us to live happily and healthy
As long as we stay within our means
The sadness of tragedy is powerful
I do not mean to diminish it at all
But there are too many people living
This is a simple fact of this planet
Until every society recognizes this reality
There will be too many deaths
Coming from unavoidable disasters
05/12/08
"It would be great to be so strong, never needing anybody else to get along but we're so scared of the silence and the tricks that we use, oh we're careful and we're cunning, but we're easily bruised, I don't want to lie about it, I'm not bulletproof...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GUB9F0VCigI
None of us are bulletproof, this much I believe. The State of Israel turned 60 this week and below is an opinion column from the New York Times about this occasional and what it signifies. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/12/opinion/12kristol.html?em&ex=1210737600&en=34abbd6161d1d55d&ei=5087%0A
"I been hangin' around this town on the corner, I been bummin' around this old town so long..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uR6U5Bt3zog
Well it happened again during the Pittsburgh and Philadelphia hockey game last night. They played Hanging Around by Counting Crows when Braydon Coburn of Philadelphia was hit in the face the puck and needed attention. Perhaps they play the song in Pittsburgh during delays, I still think it is cool and since he was down for a couple of minutes, I got to hear most of the song. Unfortunately for Coburn and the Flyers he never returned. Pittsburgh won the game 4-2 again, this time with Crosby leading the way with a goal and an assist, along with 3 assists from Gonchar. Malkin was non-existent but with Crosby stepping up it wasn't a problem. They now lead the series 2-0 heading east to Philadelphia for game 3.
I think it is very possible to be plagued by bad timing and I think it is especially true regarding circumstances of love.
Blue Rodeo is a great Canadian band, check them out.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=o5I242rof2o
jr.

"I once knew a girl in the years of my youth with eyes like the summer, all beauty and truth...."

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and grandmothers. They have given us the miracle of life and it is honestly a miracle. Though having a child doesn't make someone a mother, they have to be willing to do all the things no one else is able to do. I am lucky to have a really good and loving mother, who did and continues to do all the things no one else can do. I am not the most communicative or open son but I can discuss anything with mother without judgement. She has been there for me, whether I thought I needed her or not. I don't imagine it is easy being a mother, especially as your children get older and need you less. Letting go is not easy to do, no matter what the relationship is. All children will return to their mothers when the time is necessary. It is raining steadily here and we have done nothing overly special today. I got a card and a gift for my mother. I am also lucky to have two loving grandmothers who are also very good examples of what it takes to be a mother.
"Alone on a train aimless in wonder, an outdated map crumbled in my pocket but I didn't care where I was going...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=aRsh2-JGIcE
I often wish I had the resources to just pick up and disappear for a while. I am sure we all think this from time to time, though mine seems to be a daily occurrence. I like to wander, think, observe and in a different place I think it would be better. I think I would be a better person and perhaps able to find some inspiration to live better. I wrote the piece below this afternoon.
Mired By Unspoken Issues
A steady rain falls on this Mother’s Day
Richmond Street appears to be deserted
Gone are all the Saturday night party people
Having noisily disappeared behind curtains
Passing out on familiar couches and unfamiliar beds
I watch the rain and listen to Neon Bible
While thinking about May and its eleven days
There does not seem to be the old happiness
I usually associate with this month’s arrival
People seem to be a little out of sorts
Celebrations have been mired by unspoken issues
Not everything is as it might appear to be
Everyone else has someone to go home to
I wonder though if they are really happy
Their smiles like mine look a little fake
Conversations are not as plentiful or interesting
As they used to be in days already lived
You can find someone and love them
Only to realize it is not enough
They are not quite the person you need
Whether you can get past it or not
Will always be a tough question to answer
There is protection in being with someone
Though being alone gives you freedom
I am not good at being with someone
Too afraid to have my flaws rejected
So there are many moments of introspection
Where I question togetherness and randomness
Unwilling to deny anyone their happiness
As long as it is not an illusion born of loneliness
I have been there and it is a mistake
A street puddle splashes the window
Streaking water down its length
Bringing my view back to the room
Various eyes and varied faces
Beauty is motherhood and its bonds
There will always be sunshine shining for me
When I think of my mother and her love
Not everyone is as lucky as me
Knowing this makes me happy
Even if it is not as often as it should be.
05/11/08
"How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me, it's like a book elegantly bound, but in a language that you can't read - just yet, you gotta spend some time--love, you gotta spend some time with me and I know that you'll find--love, I will possess your heart..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=pq-yP7mb8UE
I Will Possess Your Heart is the first single from Death Cab For Cutie's newest album Narrow Stairs due out May 13. I absolutely loved their last album Plans and would often listen to it from front to back without skipping any songs. This is a rarity in today's world of singles bands who can't put together a complete album of material. Narrow Stairs is apparently darker and full of brilliant despair. If this is the case its songs will be a welcomed addition to my music catalogue. The lyric above from I Will Possess Your Heart is something I often wish I could say to a woman I am interested in.
"You think that you can do without me, I can't do anything at all, you think that you can do without me but I don't believe in Sundays and I don't believe in anything at all...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=lFm4juaVswQ
Despite the lyric above Sundays by Counting Crows is actually a very catchy and toe tapping song, I won't say it is upbeat but it is a good rock song. The live version above doesn't have the best sound or video but the album version is really good.
I watched a couple of movies yesterday, 88 Minutes and The Bank Job. 88 Minutes isn't really that good but Pacino is still worth watching, even if his movies aren't. I thought The Bank Job was a really intriguing and unique heist film. It keep me guessing as to what would happen in the end. The reviews to both movies are below.
http://movies.nytimes.com/2008/04/18/movies/18minu.html?ref=movies
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20182344,00.html
"It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L1SZvhCNIY0
I am feeling slightly better today and my side doesn't hurt as much. It is still raining and it is 12 Celsius. This Sunday afternoon seems like it has lasted the length of an entire day but it is almost dinner time now. We are having Ham, scalloped potatoes along with the usual vegetables and probably rice. Love is watching someone die but it is also apperciating them while they are alive. Someday we will all be loved and there will be no more voids.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ybxGMQcsln4
jr.

"Under your wheels, the hope of spring, mirage of loss, a few more things, you left your sorrow dangling, it hangs in air like a school cheer......"

I had been having pains in my right side for a few days and last night finally decided to go to the hospital. I thought it might be my appendix and really didn't want to leave it any longer. So I went to the University Hospital Emergency Room and it wasn't very busy at all, which surprised me because it was a Friday night. After signing in and being assessed, I got the pleasure of my own little curtained area. Where I got the equal pleasure of changing into those stupid hospital gowns. Those things should be outlawed. Anyway after about 30 minutes a nurse (who was originally from Texas and wasn't particularly enjoying her job in Canada) came and took 3 vials of my blood. I must admit I looked away and knew immediately it was going to leave a bad bruise. So she took my blood and off it went to be analyzed. I am definitely not a hypochondriac but when you are sitting there looking at multi-coloured curtains waiting for blood results it is easy to suffer from hypochondria. I started imagining everything that could be possibly wrong while listening to a guy on my left struggling breathing and coughing his smoker's cough. No wonder they came and hooked him up to oxygen. On my right was a man in his 60's who had been suffering chest pains and they were running tests along with asking him questions. I laughed out loud when he couldn't come up with a number of drinks he drank a week, he said that depended. The doctor asked him what it depended on and I think he said the day of the week, which is acceptable. I think he finally settled on 14 drinks a week, which is more than me. I drink 6-12 but they are usually in one night. Anyway they changed nurses and a coloured nurse from one of the Caribbean islands, well that is what I decided came and asked me if I could provide some urine. So I got up and proceeded to the restroom, in my fancy blue gown, and provide the asked for urine. After that my side really didn't hurt that much, well it throbbed but I just wanted to go home to bed and out of the hospital. The young doctor came, examined me and then he left. This left me alone with the voices outside my curtain and the boredom of my thoughts. This wasn't exactly a good thing. I decided then I didn't want to be cut open, even if they wanted to take out my appendix. But my blood work and urine came back clean, imagine that, I am normal, blood wise anyway. The doctor examined me again and told me I would be fine. I asked him if it might be an ulcer and he laughed, so I guess that meant no. He said I might have pulled something or tore some tissue, or it might just be a virus. I was to go and if it got worse come back. So the nurse took my temperature again, 37.2 Celsius and the doctor gave her the thumbs up and I was allowed to go. But the nurse still had to remove the thing they put in my arm to get a vein and ripping it off, hurt like hell. All the arm hairs being pulled out of my arm, at that point I did feel like vomiting. A 3 hour tour. The bruising on my arm today is nice, like I thought it would be. I feel a little disoriented today and tired. I didn't sleep the best and need to get some more. I am supposed to go out for a birthday party tonight but unless I feel better after sleeping, that isn't happening.
"We have arrived too late to play the bleeding heart show...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dH9Q4fsZ1IY
Yesterday before I went to hospital I watched the movie Gone Baby Gone. I was really impressed with this movie starring Casey Affleck, Ed Harris and in a minor role Morgan Freeman. The moral questions raised by this movie are immense and can only be answered by us as individuals. I often think children would be better off without their parents, if they are terrible parents but separating child from parent, can scar the child no matter what type of new life they are given. There are lots of people who say they are doing what is best for the child, but what is really best for the child. Of course there are some situations where it is obvious what is best for the child but there are other cases where it isn't as clear. Ben Affleck did a great job on this movie as its director. While I was watching this movie and in particular Ed Harris, I got to thinking about his best movies. So here are my favourite movies with him in them. Also further below is a better review of Gone Baby Gone.
A Beautiful Mind
Pollock
A History of Violence
Nixon
Enemy At The Gates
Glengarry Glen Ross
The Hours
The Truman Show
Apollo 13
http://movies.nytimes.com/2007/10/19/movies/19gone.html
"Well, I got all this time, to be waiting for what is mine, to be hating what I am, after the light has faded...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eptGrk3gXfs
I was probably the only person in the world who noticed this during the Pittsburgh and Philadelphia hockey game last night. But after the Flyers tied the game at 1 there was a slight delay while they reviewed the goal. During this delay they played Hanging Around by Counting Crows in the arena and I thought this was cool. Pittsburgh won the game 4-2 with Malkin having a great game scoring twice and adding an assist. 7 more wins until they win the cup.
Now a few comments about the Toronto Blue Jays, Brad Wilkerson and Kevin Mench are not enough to turn this team around. They are below average baseball players trying to return to their previous state of barely average. J.P. Riccardi is grasping at straws, the only major improvement would be Barry Bonds or trading for a young everyday left fielder or a better first baseman or a young catcher. Of course they lost and Halladay fell to 3-5. He didn't pitch overly bad but was once again prone to the big inning. I love Roy and think he is in the top five pitchers in baseball but he is becoming way too prone to allowing the big inning. He will be cruising and then it is always one bad inning, I don't care how the inning happened, he has to learn to be better about limiting the damage. Or he will never lead Toronto to the playoffs. It would also help if they would give him more than 1-0 lead, especially when they have the chance to but they are offensively futile. Horrible.
I guess it is a matter of being safe than sorry. What is a little blood.
If you don't know the music of the New Phonographers, you should. They are really good.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fI_XA-cLVww
john.

"The sun sets in flames as the city burns, another day gone down as the night turns, and I hold you here in my heart as things fall apart....."

Well it is Friday again and time for some more odd news. Well not necessarily odd but definitely disturbing.
"Insects pollinating Australian tongue orchids (Cryptostylis species) frequently ejaculate and waste copious sperm," they wrote in a report in The American Naturalist."
I think the quote above from the article says enough.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080508/odds/odd_orchids_deception_dc
"All 17 people got their left ears sliced off," Diop told Reuters. "We rushed to the place where it happened but we did not find the attackers," he said."
I found the story below bizarre and disturbing. Why just the left ears?
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080508/world/international_senegal_casamance_dc
"The teenager then found three identical packets on the bottom of the freezer and opened one and saw the head and arm of an infant that was wrapped in a hand towel, police said."
As disturbing as the story above is, this one is equally as disturbing.
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hsUSwR5Ai6n-HWj3tNdxUNA3zDyQD90FJ0S00
"My father said "Son, we're lucky in this town, it's a beautiful place to be born. It just wraps its arms around you, nobody crowds you and nobody goes it alone"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=PwLfgH6D_EA
The following is from the book I am currently reading called Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures by Vincent Lam.
"Blood bears the curse of human malice. This life fluid may conceal destruction, the way words and thoughts can kill unseen. Within blood the idea of death can flow."
"I removed the watch, turned it over. The watch was perfect, unmarked. The human bite is the dirtiest, the most foul, and destined for infection. Worse than dogs or cats, because the human mouth is full of filth."
"I got shackles on my wrist, soon I'll slip 'em and be gone, Chain me in a box in the river and I'll rise singin' this song..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WCVJny3Va4I
I actually felt like writing something yesterday, it wasn't magic and it didn't capture what I was trying to but it is something.
Not Capturing It
There has been a lack of creativity
Emanating from deep inside of me
During the last month or even longer
I have little desire to imagine or create
Observing life as usual but not capturing it
April quickly became May and now June waits
This city’s trees are more green and vibrant
Sunlight appears but does not always stay
Arriving like an expected and welcomed guest
Leaving like a lover wanting more time
I have come to some realizations lately
Not being ready for much and especially love
Giving up on writing and choosing to read instead
Everything has been said better and more poignant
There does not seem like much sense repeating
What a woman can find in countless novels
Their characters far more whimsical and charming
Seemingly hopeless but full of hope
Unlike my mind and its constant thoughts
I am getting good at blocking out failure
Knowing it is a tear meant to fall from me
The music will always play its pearls
Even I cannot make them dull in my heart
A room spins with happy party people
I am smiling but does it actually show
How infrequent this actually occurs
At least I am trying or appearing to
No one can dissect themselves completely
The blood will eventually become too much
Bleeding my words has been normal to me
Now it is seems like I have never been inspired
Learning to write again is not like riding a bike
I am constantly falling and not ready to hurt
All of that is somewhere in the past
Where the love grew but died
Perhaps next April or next May
There will be a love to write about.
05/08/08
"I went to see the gypsy the other night, she looked in my palm, looked me in the eye, said you're a lucky man, some folks got fortune, some got eyes of blue, what you got will always see you through, you're a lucky man...."
The above lyrics are from Bruce Springsteen's Lucky Man (which I could find a youtube clip of). The rest of the lyrics are taken from songs off of Bruce Springsteen's latest album Magic, which is really good.
I played poker with the boys for the first time in a couple months last night and actually made $45. Returners luck. We are all lucky to be a part of the randomness that is human life. One of us will be the last to die.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nFSFD2wXJ2E
john.