Today I finished reading A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. It had elements of genius and moments of heartbreak carefully crafted among the sarcasm. I think I could hear my own voice in the narrative of the main character. I am not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing because the paranoid thoughts and strange ideas that run through the narrative could be alarming to some people. It is the eleventh novel that I have finished reading this year. Any number of novels I actually finish reading surprises me. Not because they aren't good because most of them are. I usually only pick up award winning books, not that this a guarantee of a good read but it helps. It is because of my lack of attention span, I guess it must be getting better. I only have 2 other books on the go at the moment. The following passages are from A.H.W.O.S.G.
"I knew I would do it, and I know this, I know what I am doing now, that I am doing something both beautiful but gruesome because I am destroying its beauty by knowing that it might be beautiful, know that if I know I am doing something beautiful, that it's no longer beautiful."
I can't say I have thought this way exactly but can relate. I often think of scenes and moments as being beautiful but don't see myself as beautiful, therefore if I am part of the moment, then how can I still see it as beautiful. Weird, but at the same time, if I think the sun setting is beautiful, me thinking it is beautiful, isn't going to change it from being beautiful.
"Of course with age comes the solemn understanding that forever is but a word. Seasons change, love withers, the good die young. These are hard truths, painful truths--inescapable but, we are told, necessary. Winter begets spring, night ushers in the dawn, and loss sows the seeds of renewal. It is, of course, easy to say these things, just as it is easy to, say, watch a lot of television."
I don't watch television, I glance at it and take fragments of information from it. Once again, lack of an attention span.
"I've been down so low people look at me and they know, they can tell something is wrong like I don't belong...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=byN-Ys8FtpM
I am not sure what the following piece is about, other than it isn't about kindness. It isn't about hate either, perhaps just about reality. What is, what was and what will be.
Not About Kindness
I am imperceptible
Living my unfulfilled life
Season after season
Waiting or searching
For anything inspirational
A new colour of eyes
Looking deep into them
Transfixed by their gaze
Learning how to love
What I am, was or will be
Instead of hating myself
On days it rains or does not
Never able to be sunny
Even as summer approaches
Another collection of memories
Failing to add up to expectations
I am impenetrable
Loving my stubbornness
Year after year
Happy or not
You will never know
Our closeness is gone
Assuming it ever existed
Reality is individualized
Perception is our collectiveness
From country to country
Sympathy and pity
For tragedies and deaths
Sly smirks hidden behind frowns
Humankind is not about kindness
We are about ourselves
Planting, nurturing, harvesting and destroying
Everything not of value to us
I do not want to be a soldier
Lennon would be happy
My grandfather was a fighter
There is a lot of uncertainty in me
Doubts about everything and everyone
Life is but a long dream
Love is but a long illusion
We cling to each of them
Knowing nothing else
Being alone is not much fun
There are no parades or speeches
Mostly silence and constant thought
I am what matters most
Completely selfish and standoffish
When life is not this way
Unable to find happiness
For myself or for anyone else
Who is able to be around me.
06/17/08
"I'm still here but it hasn't been easy, I'm sure that you had your reasons, I'm scared for this emotion, for years I have been holding it down.."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kDo6CiPueEo
What else is going on?
Tiger Woods is going to have season ending surgery on his knee. This news might have been accompanied by a tremendous cheer from the collective hands of the professional golfing community. It means really good golfers might have a chance to win a couple of tournaments. The need for surgery proves how much pain Tiger played through to win the U.S. Open and therefore makes his victory that much more impressive.
Another foot was found today, and I still have both of mine. Do you?
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080618/national/foot_found
Apparently bananas could become an exotic fruit, instead of a common sight at kitchen tables. I like bananas but ripe ones, not green, but close. Yes, I can be picky.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/18/opinion/18koeppel.html?em&ex=1213934400&en=cdcae8cced5c0abe&ei=5087%0A
"There's no use in trying when the pieces don't fit anymore..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jG6TS2huZpI
Yesterday I watched the movie August starring Josh Hartnett and it really wasn't that good. I shouldn't be surprised because Hartnett can't carry a movie by himself. In my opinion he has only been in 2 good movies which are Black Hawk Down and Lucky Number Slevin, in those he was surrounded by a good supporting cast. In this movie, he has nothing and gives nothing. Boring.
In Slevin he had Willis, Lui, Freeman, Kingsley and Tucci. In Black Hawk Down he had McGregor, Sizemore and Bana. I think he would be better suited to take minor roles in big films, instead of the lead in crappy movies, made worse by him. There is a link to information about the movie below.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0470679/
A live clip from Counting Crows.
Richard Manuel Is Dead-Luxembourg May 31, 2008
http://youtube.com/watch?v=iwnntBBV8_c
Well I guess that is all. It was very cool and overcast again today, although the sun is out now, just in time to set. It is currently 15.
Today's songs and lyrics are from the very talented James Morrison including Wonderful World, This Boy, Pieces Don't Fit Anymore and below One Last Chance.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=jtZskrfiUms
john.
Too bad we never know when something is our last chance, if we did, perhaps we would do things differently, or not.
john.
No comments:
Post a Comment