Well it is officially summer and we are having our first summer thunderstorm. Nothing overly dramatic, occasional loud thunder, intermittent lightning and steady rain. Though it has grown very quiet at the moment and all I can hear is the song playing which is the First Days Of Spring by Neverending White Lights. Its randomness is a little out of place considering the date. Good song, nonetheless.
Yesterday was the longest day of the year and we had over 15 hours of daylight. The June bugs seemed to come out in full force and were flying around everywhere. Quickly attaching themselves to the hair of all the Friday night party girls. In particularly startling one very cute girl, who asked for my assistance in assuring her that it was out of her hair. Young women shouldn't be allowed to be so cute because they make guys like me dream of their beauty. Plus what is it with dark glass, why do I find them so sexy?
Anyway after that I met up with some friends for drinks. It was a enjoyable outing, even if I did have to drink draft beer. For some reason, I get the worst hangovers from it, perhaps because I drink too much of it, when I drink it. In discussions with friends, it is always funny when everyone has the same opinion or impression of certain people. I suppose it justifies why we all associate with each other and don't associate with certain other people. Also the word peanuts can easily be said as penis, it happened more than once last night. We were at the downtown Crabby Joe's and they offer free peanuts, so you will drink more and of course you feel the need to. It is brilliant. Back to the hangover thing, I was alright today but didn't sleep much at all. It seems every night I drink, I end up going to bed late and getting up at the same time, if not earlier. Sleeping 4-8 isn't conducive to feeling like doing much on a Saturday. So I read, sat in the sun and listened to some live music from Counting Crows. After finishing A Heartbreaking Story Of Staggering Genius, a normal person would proceed to the other book they have on the go, but not me. I went out to the used bookstore Thursday and picked up Life of Pi by Yann Martel. I was surprised to find it in the used bookstore and quickly grabbed it, having wanting to read it for some time now. I usually don't buy new books, because I am cheap and like the idea that someone else has read the physical book I am about to read. Plus used bookstore are so much more romantic than new bookstores. Yes romantic.
"Thing are getting worse, but I feel a lot better and that's all that really matters to me..."
I don't know if they are getting worse but they aren't getting better, at least in measured quantities but I do feel a lot better about myself. It is a weird process, constantly exploring the introspection of my mind, soul and self perception. I am often puzzled by my lack of passion and inspiration for seemingly normal human ambition but my passion for things many people undervalue. For instance many people are career and goal oriented whereas I am not, being able to make it through singular days is more of a goal for me. I am not saying I am completely broken as a functioning human being but there are certainly pieces missing. Perhaps less than before but how can one measure this.
"We've waited so long for someone to take us back home, it just takes so long, meanwhile all the days go drifting away and some of us sink like a stone...."
It does take so long, waiting for someone.
I am not into religion. I have been baptised but don't attend church and really have my doubts about its relevance.
The following is a passage about religion from Life Of Pi by Yann Martel.
"Christianity is a religion in a rush. Look at the world created in seven days. Even on a symbolic level, that's creation in a frenzy. To one born in a religion where the battle for a single soul can be a relay race run over many centuries, with innumerable generations passing along the baton, the quick resolution of Christianity has a dizzying effect. If Hinduism flows placidly like the Ganges, then Christianity bustles like Toronto at rush hour. It is a religion as swift as a swallow, as urgent as an ambulance. It turns on a dime, expresses itself in the instant. In a moment you are lost or saved. Christianity stretches back through the ages, but in essence it exists only at one time: right now."
"There has to be a change I'm sure, today was just a day fading into another and that can't be what a life is for..."
The lyrics used today are from the song Amy Hit The Atmosphere by Counting Crows. It is a lyrical masterpiece like so many of Adam Duritz's creations. It doesn't get anymore honest than the line above. I have been there and might still be there, where one day fades into another, without any separation. There is nothing sadder, nothing scarier and nothing more in need of change. The only reason to live; for another day, a better day or the possibility of it.
For those of us who live in Blue Jay land, yesterday was a good day. The team finally fired John Gibbons as manager and have replaced him with the manager of our glory days Cito Gaston. We will bask in the glory of a returning hero, until the team doesn't improve. Last night wasn't very encouraging, they lost 1-0 in 12 innings. The offence is putrid. At least the ball that went off Halladay's head wasn't as serious as it looked. It is like he has a bulls eye on him. There is a clip below of him getting hit.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TAz0R-srAkM
Below is the only clip of Amy Hit The Atmosphere I could find on the Internet. Too bad it is set to clips of Hillary Duff and other talentless actresses and singers. A fan video to this song should be something beautiful and honest, not fake and superficial.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=8cCHjE7A4GA
(What is thinspiration)
Tranquillity is in the hand of the person that we might not expect it to be.
jr.
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