What you do not know is reason enough to continue living.
"The city's a flood and our love turns to rust......"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDkBzkA9L4s
Where The Streets Have No Name by U2 (Live at Slane Castle)
The rain has stopped or so it seems. The last week we have had around 40 centimetres of snow, and this morning it started to rain. Mixing with the snow, the rain created small rivers in the streets. Needless to say, it didn't make for a good day getting around, as I am sure many people found out. They (the meteorologists) say (despite the rain) that this is going to be the first white Christmas coast to coast in Canada since 1971. White and brown slush crap are two different things to me. I think though overnight as the temperature goes below zero, this city will freeze and we will have an icy Christmas. Hopefully this is the case, I would like to take my niece skating at the park or the market. Though she will probably skate circles around me, as she plays hockey and I rarely skate. This doesn't make me less Canadian, I still love hockey, on some nights. The economics of baseball are making me love its salary cap more and more each day as the Yankees keep spending. It is not going to be a fun year for those of us who are Blue Jay fans.
I did venture out today to drop off my grandparent's card and gift. I had a lunch there of homemade cabbage and rice soup, with pumpkin pie for dessert. I so enjoy food and should weigh more than I do. After leaving my grandparents I stopped and had some tea, finally able to start reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. I was happy to finally find a copy in the used bookstore. Ever since reading The Kite Runner, I had been waiting for this book to appear in one of the used bookstores. Not only did it appear, but I got a nearly perfect hardcover copy for $12 or so. Though I am sure when I am finished reading it, it will not be in such good condition. I have a tendency to eat and drink over books, stuff them into bags and pockets, drop them and generally mark them as mine.
"Baby I have been here before, I know this room, I've walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew you......"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dwwaS5B_vY
Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
A weird thing happened this week on the British music charts. The same song appeared in the charts at #1, #2, and #36, despite being a 25 year old song and never before in the top 40. The song is Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, at #1 is a cover by Alexandra Burke (never heard it), at #2 in protest to Burke being #1 is Jeff Buckley's version (my second favourite) and at #36 is Cohen's original version. Needless to say this speaks volumes about the song and its impact on people's lives. I personally like Rufus Wainwright's version the best and don't particularly like the original. Though I think Cohen is a musical, poetic and lyrical genius, it just doesn't have the same effect on me as Wainwright's version. I think if Buckley hadn't killed himself, his version would not have the fanfare it does. An article about it from the BBC is below.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7794709.stm
"So much rejection in every connection I make"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GLixox-mOE
Catapult by Counting Crows (Tulsa 2007)
In life and in attraction (potential love) we have to take a chance. We have to walk out on that wire and been seen. Naturally we fall (not in love) but down, until we do fall (in love) and we are caught. Though we can still fall in love and not get caught. As we get older though and more bruised, the wire becomes our enemy and we are afraid to walk out onto it. I think I am at this point. I have taken enough chances and it is time someone else walked out on that wire. I am not absolutely happy being alone, but I am more happy than trying and failing. Is this giving up on potential love? Perhaps so. Will I grow old and cold? Perhaps so. I doubt it though, being cold is not in my nature. Being silent is, being aloof is, being selfishly protective of my feelings is (except here) and being frustratingly stubborn is. I just think you can only take so many chances until you are left with a negative feeling. It is human nature and it is complex to deal with, among so many others finding their postive feelings. Being miserable is not another part of my being but becoming extremely introverted is. Is this a good or bad thing? Perhaps so. Does it matter? Probably not. In the end I will probably be old and have lived a life. I will change or I will be changed, others will change or they will be changed. We will walk along the same streets but as different people, friends through strangers eyes. I will be a shadow in the shadows, unseen but there anyway. Maybe one day a light will burn out my eyes and I will finally know love.
I can't say I am a big fan of holiday songs. There just aren't that many good ones and you can only hear the same ones over and over for so long. I do like today's featured song Silver Bells and the version below is by John Denver.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djfgoGAEU4E
Enjoy your Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
john.
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