My grandfather had surgery on Thursday to remove a large cancerous tumour from his throat. The surgery went relatively well and they were also able to insert the stoma. This avoided another future surgery but still might need to be corrected as it heals. My grandfather is a very stubborn man and this is going to make the recovery very hard, as we are already seeing. He struggled a lot yesterday adjusting and on one occasion passed out. It has already been and will continue to be tough on my mother, she is having a hard time dealing with the change. Likewise it will not be easy for my grandmother either, in the role of caretaker.
I haven't been up to the hospital yet, as they are trying to limit the number of people coming and going. I am hoping he has a better day today and I am able to visit tomorrow. Though I am not overly enthusiastic about hospitals. When my other grandfather died almost 15 years ago, the cancer ward of the hospital was beyond depressing. I think though my grandfather is in a regular recovery ward.
On to another topic.
Luck.
I have none, absolutely none at all.
I should define this as having no luck playing Proline, and trying to determine the outcomes of sporting events. There was the massacre of hope last Saturday night, and it has continued on a lesser scale throughout the week. At last count, I lost on 3 tickets where all I need was the time to win in the shootout. In simple math there is a 50% of each team winning during a shootout, ignoring skill, luck and other random factors. So out of those 3 teams I needed to win 1.5 should have won, but 0 won. Once again it is irrelevant who I have to win to the teams playing but it doesn't seem that way. I needed Nashville on Thursday for $24.80, they lost in the shootout. I needed Phoenix on Thursday for $40.20, they lost in the shootout and last night I needed Chicago to win in the shootout for $51.50, but they also lost in the shootout. The amount of money is nothing special, but it is the annoying nature of losing. There have also been a couple other close calls thwarted by final period comebacks but such is hockey. You need to take the good with the bad, or not play. I do like the challenge, which is probably why I over think things.
I wrote the following this afternoon.
A Defining Goal
The indistinguishable afternoons are monotonous
A product of my inability to function satisfactory
I have failed rather miserly at being viably living
There are stuffed animals who exhibit more life
Giraffes and elephants of my prize winning youth
When a smile was more common than sense itself
The boy inside me died before a man could be born
I am a living organism but lacking a defining goal
Ready and sarcastically able to define relationships
With nothing more than selfish words and actions
There is a lack of need inside me for these links
Familiar people often seem like strangers to me
I always have to catch up with lost conversations
When really it would be better to be left behind
Luggage misplaced by switching airplane flights
A reason for new clothes and the season for them
Spring is supposed to offer hope like God himself
I believe in mother nature but religion lacks truth
The Bible is easily altered to correct inadequacies
Darwinism and creationism are seen as evilness
Liars often produce their own axises of iniquity
When usually honesty is the best return policy
I deserve nothing more or less than this chance
The possibility of being happier and more alive
Without forgetting the plausibility of getting less
Our sun bends the light of other stars in its orbit
A superior mass like special humans of kindness
I have known and loved a few in my short time
There are always lessons to be learned from them
Even as their voices are destroyed by cancer cells
Finding new ways of communicating is achievable
Without forgetting the necessity of being silent
Noise is our ultimate polluter and words deadly
There can be a balance found and walked across
I was never one for heights but the view is great
When we can see distinctly how far we've come.
21/03/09
Sam Roberts is a favourite of mine and the song below is very good. He needs to play Harris Park here again that was a cool show.
Enjoy your Saturday night.
john.
Uprising Down Under by Sam Roberts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cPZi3s21J4 (live 5/26/06 HMV Vancouver)
(Crows clip of the entry)
"All my sins...I said that I would pay for them if I could come back to you, all my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtSKnmmEkhw&feature=PlayList&p=651115EA89F902BD&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=12
Angels of the Silences (acoustic for VH1's Storytellers and recorded in New York City, August 12, 1997)
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