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"Houses burned beyond repair, the smell of death is in the air. A woman weeping in despair says, he has been here...."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=CtQjMSfBs90
No Bravery by James Blunt
On Tuesday I finished reading the Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway and though it is mostly fictional, the cellist did exist and did play for 22 days following an attack that killed 22 people. The following is from the afterword of the novel and provides some background information about the siege of Sarajevo.
"The Siege of Sarajevo, the longest city siege in the history of modern warfare, stretched from 5 April 1992 to 29 February 1996. The United Nations estimates that approximately ten thousand people were killed and fifty-six thousand wounded. An average of 329 shells hit the city each day, with a one-day high of 3,777 on 22 July 1993. In a city of roughly half a million people, ten thousand apartments were destroyed and a hundred thousand were damaged. Twenty-three percent of all buildings were seriously damaged, and a further 64 percent had some damage."
There might not be any bravery in the act of killing but there is ample stories of bravery living among death. The best fiction weaves its way through real landscapes, real people and real life.
Some of the best books I have read are fictional stories set in the histories of our wars and our conflicts. The characters may not have existed but their realities definitely did.
"But I won't ever cry for you anymore, the days when I would die for you are now gone..."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=FvTP6Rsy5Qw
Nuclear Daydream by Joseph Arthur
The line above is one of my all-time favourites, its brutal honesty resonates after the song has finished. The truth of life is that there comes a time, when you will know longer cry for someone and you will no longer die for them. The reasons are no longer reasonable.
I was feeling good Thursday morning and decided to stay up after work. I went out for breakfast and to do some reading. I got home around noon and tried to sleep, it was impossible and ever since then I have been feeling dragged down. Yesterday I slept for a couple of hours after work, went to my grandparents for dinner and to the Knights game. They lost 6-4, played sloppy and deserved to lose. I think they are having a tough time adjusting to the trades and playing with Tavares, just like he looks out of sorts at times. Though he does have 8 goals and 2 assists in 5 games with London, but the team is 2-3, 34-10 overall and falling further behind Windsor who is now 40-5. After the game I slept alright through the night, and today I am trying to catch up on little things I have been neglecting. Also I think today will be the first day of the year, where I will not go outside, I have no reason or desire. The cold weather is back and I can do what I have to inside, people will only annoy me further today. It always amazes me how quickly I can go from feeling good to feeling blah, as quickly as Thursday morning to Thursday night, I suppose.
"I don't wanna follow death and all his friends......"
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=I_wcRxGbqdU
Death and All His Friends by Coldplay
I wrote the following on Thursday morning when I was out.
A Mathematician of Conversations
I sleep with too many thoughts
They are not quite like demons
I am no long scared of everything
Death and its nothingness is all
I wake up ready to scream about
My voice is quiet like it always is
Every word remains calculated
A mathematician of conversation
Less is more and no remainders
I feel too much is already unsaid
These ramblings sparsely crafted
This has not been a poetic year
Winter’s bitterness more extreme
Our pasts are weather memories
Births, deaths and wedding days
There is hope in a new President
On Tuesday the sun light shone
The presence of it was brilliant
Much like a lover’s smiling face
Secrets passing through eyes
Words once again not needed
Today the sun hides its light
A Thursday of winter greyness
The temperature is warmer
Her smile remains brilliant
Though it is never for me
A passing glimpse is enough
I am learning not to look
The reflection can be lonely
Knowing there is perfection
I had absolutely no part in
Surely the sun will reappear
On another overcast Thursday
Winter is our price for spring
I would pay with my heart
For a smile my eyes know
The knowledge of it a secret
Brokenness can be repaired
With a lot of smiles and love.
22/01/09
"I think of flying down into a sea of pens and feathers, and all other instruments of faith and sex and God..."
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=tu9rtD7KKBI
Rain King by Counting Crows
The following passage is from Milk by Darcey Steinke, another book I just started reading. The word nipple is used rather frequently in the first 50 pages or so, slightly obsessive it seems.
"Snow created a silence similiar to the silence of God. God was where your mind went when it wasn't thinking of anything in particular."
I don't know where my mind goes most of the time, it does not necessarily go where I want it to go. The featured lyrics today are from City and Colour, and another song off the very good Bring Me Your Love, or your smile.
jr.
What Makes a Man
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=wwC0iWMQ2oM
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