Saturday, November 1, 2008

"Well I've been here before, sat on a floor in a grey grey mood, where I stay up all night and all I write is a grey grey tune..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-rjHU-EOxU
Grey Room by Damien Rice
Halloween has come and gone, I did nothing, absolutely nothing. November is here now, my least favourite month, though it is supposed to be fairly nice early next week. Tonight or actually tomorrow morning the clocks go back and we gain an hour but ultimately lose an hour of daylight. This is what drags me down, especially working nights, I get home in the dark and wake up in the dark. There is little light to absorb unless I want to alter my sleeping patterns. Such is life, lots of vitamin C and D, and happy thoughts. Whatever those are.
Last night I watched Burn After Reading, it was quirky and interesting, not quite what I expected. John Malkovich makes the movie, he is brighter than all the other stars in the movie. The tangled mess that the plot becomes seems like it might not be possible but even this didn't spoil the fun of watching it unfold. Below is a link to information on the movie directed by the Coen brothers. The movie isn't as good as The Big Lebowski or as bad as the Ladykillers, bad being a relative term for the Coen brothers. It also certainly isn't in the same ballpark as No Country For Old Men, albeit they are different types of movies.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0887883/
I wrote the following last night, much along the same lines as my earlier comments about November.
The Depressing Darkness Before Winter
My thoughts are of a fragile nature
There is no hope left in their creation
All my sources of inspiration are dead
November will arrive in a couple hours
The depressing darkness before winter
I am a creature of debilitating habits
Constantly trying to facilitate changes
Without actually accomplishing anything
All my best plans end up broken or worse
Leaving me older, colder and more alone
Wisdom has not come along with my aging
I feel less intelligent than I really should be
Carrying around a body riddled with scars
A face no longer able to smile or even laugh
Every muscle aches without knowing why
The hurt goes below skin and through bone
I do not know where it ends or where it started
There is no name to blame for my mind’s shame
A woman has not left me scorned beyond repair
They have all been graceful while leaving my heart
I put them where they never wanted to end up
Birds trapped in the cage of my constant loneliness
Our freedom is the only thing worth fighting for
When very little in this life makes much sense
Suffocation is no way for a breathing being to die
There are too many people dying like this everyday
Men and women giving but not receiving love back
Reciprocation is the main ingredient in true happiness
Rarely do we find it before it begins fading to black
The moment might only last the length of a slow dance
Time for And I Love Her to become more than a song
Reality rises us up like a balloon into the atmosphere
Before we sink back into the ground like a heavy rock
Marking our final resting place with a few poetic words
Their beauty carved into stone and covered with snow
Waiting as familiar fingers occasionally wipe them off
The words might be read over for a few fleeting years
Before everyone we knew are like us dead and gone
Being fragile is only a natural part of being human.
10/31/08
Below are the some of the pictures I promised, only three weeks after they were taken. The weather was better, I was happier, and for a moment I felt inspired. How fleeting a moment this was, now it is back to grey rooms and the art created within them. At least Damien can make grey sound beautiful.
jr.

































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