Saturday, November 15, 2008

"This is Detroit, see the skyline, a commotion on the assembly line, raise a glass to the Ambassador as she's moving you to the dance floor.........."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfBk7URJAIA
Detroit '67 (Live) by Sam Roberts
I guess I have not wrote an entry in over a week. This is what happens when you do more living and less blogging. So I also guess this is a good thing.
Last Thursday was Brian's mother's funeral, Friday's I have dinner at my grandparents, Saturday we went to Caesar's Windsor Casino during the day, across the border into Detroit for the Red Wings game and back to Windsor for the bars. It was a long and fun day, but very tiring being up nearly 24 hours. Sunday night to Friday morning I worked, enough said there. I slept or tried to sleep longer this past week, November has this affect on me or perhaps it was Saturday. It took until Thursday before I felt like I could survive on less than 6 hours of sleep. Last night after dinner with my grandparents we played some poker and headed out to Thorny Devil, it was a fun night. The majority of my friend's like me have names which begin with the letter J and last night I had conversations with a girl named Jennifer, one named Jenn, another named Jenna, along with old friend named Jen. It is like we all congregate together in our own J world. I was very tired today and slept off my hangover. Outside the rain which was a constant for almost 24 hours straight has turned to snow and it looks like November in Southern Ontario often does. A blanket of snow covering a fading canvas of coloured leaves.
Now I am listening to Keane, having given up on the Leafs tonight, down 4-0. Though I think I will pick up the energy a little by switching over to some We Are Scientists. I don't feel like writing anything beyond this, I suppose I should but having not written anything creative in a while it is easier not to write. Maybe after this I can find a movie on demand to watch.
"The comet is coming between me and the girl who could make it all clean, out there in the shadow of a modern machine walks St. Robinson in his Cadillac dream..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5lYjaJD2c8
St. Robinson In His Cadillac Dream (Live July 2008) by Counting Crows
I do not know if it is a comet but something has always come between me and the girl who could make everything right. It is most likely me, a fear of rejection, a fear of failure, a fear of no longer needing to look and a fear of happiness. Can you be afraid of happiness? I suppose you could be or more importantly I could be. Though I am generally content these days and will never be one of those overly happy people. Smiling and laughing are becoming more common and I guess that is a good starting point. I am also stubborn and until I feel my life is worth sharing, it won't be. I guess this also makes me selfish. I think I will stop digging now and uncovering the things I know about myself.
"So over the hills he'd climb, just to see her there in time, just to watch the sun shine through her dress, the sweet soldier's daughter..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLi5EIiU3hY
Soldier's Daughter (Live) by Tonic
Tonic was such a good band, at least Emerson's has continued with some great solo material.
I am still reading The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai, I am about half way through, the story set party in India is good so far. I did though Friday pick up The Secret River by Kate Grenville, a story set in Australia, which I am looking forward to reading.
The following passage is from The Inheritance of Loss. "But so fluid a thing was love. It wasn't firm, he was learning, it wasn't a scripture; it was a wobbliness that lent itself to betrayal, taking the mold of whatever he poured into it. And in fact, it was difficult to keep from pouring it into numerous vessels. It could be used for all kinds of purposes...He wished it were a constraint. It was truly beginning to frighten him."
Wobbliness, enough said.
jr.

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