http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uKPFBr_Nqc
Cry by James Blunt
Death does not care about the children.
It enters their lives and takes away someone they love but they don't really understand it. At least, until they are older and the loss has faded but not the sense of it.
Yesterday my sister's husband's mother died at 60. She had cancer which triggered a massive heart attack. I couldn't imagine losing my own mother at any age, it will be beyond hard. The sadest part of it all is the effect it will have on my sister's 3 children, 9, 4 and 3. The 9 year old will understand but to what completeness, I wonder. As for the other 2, they will vaguely know there is something different. I still have 3 of my 4 grandparents, both parents and feel blessed, especially as I get older. They can have a huge influence on your life, and are appreciated more as you get older, to lose any of them, when you are still young is to lose more than you realize.
I wrote the following yesterday, before hearing the news.
Our Destination Of Observation
The early afternoon air is crisp
Typical of a Sunday in November
London feels hushed like a baby
Its residents still trying to sleep
Looking to taking advantage of time
The extra hour given back from spring
I am not among these dreaming people
My body does not follow a normal pattern
You could easily conclude it is appropriate
Being peculiar does not worry me anymore
I am trying to embrace its positive qualities
Knowing escaping it is never going to happen
There is a loneliness to being a human being
Most friends and lovers disappear eventually
Leaving us alone in a field of fading colours
Autumn’s residue becoming winter’s heart
Unproductive and unwilling to reproduce
The emotions necessary for maintaining love
A long hibernation made worse by its coldness
Where blackbirds sing but are rarely spotted
Their songs carry for miles over frozen lands
Following the lonely wanderers like myself
Until we reach our destination of observation
A corner coffee shop or a basement tavern
Places where we can hide among people
Needing to be seen but wanting invisibility
The familiarity of a warm or cold beverage
All of our memories being swallowed with them
Only to be regurgitated with our next breath
There is no absconding certain cycles of life
We are forced to be an accomplice to their crime
Guilt will bury us in the end and it will carry us
Should there be another life beyond this one
An answer to all the emptiness and loneliness
The beauty of a woman appreciated too late
Long after her eyes have departed your reflection
A face you are tired of looking at for thirty years.
11/02/08
"angels fall like rain......and love is all of heaven away......."
The clip below is a rare live performance of the Ghost In You by Counting Crows with Adam and David in full pre-Halloween costume.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhMQQzUSp00
The children will be loved.
"and love will not fade away....."
john.
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