http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw3zreo4ZvQ
Five Days in May by Blue Rodeo
It has been as I predicted a lacklusture Queen Victoria long weekend here. Much like the hockey game this afternoon between the Wings and the Hawks. Detroit's win was tiring to watch and not at all as exciting a game as one would have thought.
I wrote the piece below an hour or so ago.
Bitterly Adult
The days can weave themselves a meaningless pattern
Births, funerals, marriages and divorces unrecognized
People coming and going without remembering either
Our mind conspiring with insanity creating bad karma
Every comment uttered bites back at us full of venom
I am getting very good at being absent but not invisible
The latter is impossible because we are always viewed
Society forces us out into the light and its cruel hunger
Guys devour girls from head to toe and nipple to clitoris
Women steer men towards their own mirrors and vanity
Everywhere is Hollywood and imperfection is nowhere
I am about as completely flawed as anyone can become
There is hardly a day where I am not surprised by living
My confidence does not exist and my nucleus is broken
The heart still beats but unlike earlier it no longer loves
Stubbornness keeps me from dying unnecessarily today
I suppose it will continue until there is sufficient regrets
How can these really be measured one person to another
Spoiled by a calm childhood has made me bitterly adult
The reasons began physically and have become mental
Mannerisms are natural but mine are strangely peculiar
With money I could be eccentric but the poor are weird
I can hear the wind of another cool but sunny afternoon
May is being unpredictable unlike me solemnly writing
There has not been enough rain to wash the street clean
Dirt will last longer than you or me and you will forget
My memories know more about me than you will learn
The elderly couple embraces as they did fifty years ago
Death knocks for one of them but neither one is ready
I am genuinely inspired by their strength but still weak
A year or two of peaceful sleep would do a lot of good
But unfortunately there is waking and everything after.
17/05/09
Obligatory Counting Crows Clips:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IpfsxszVEQ
A Long December (May 16, 2009 Cardiff, South Wales)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTKbH9gTdmQ
Mr. Jones (May 16, 2009 Cardiff, South Wales)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATboL2bb4Ss
Speedway (May 16, 2009 Cardiff, South Wales)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_qso9x8N7Y
When I Dream of Michelangelo (May 11, 2009 Manchester, England)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1at1_f218A
Miami (May 14, 2009 Wembley Arena, London, England)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_G0019pddU
Colorblind (May 11, 2009 Manchester, England)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZ7UQHSHJTw
New Frontier (May 14, 2009 Wembley Arena, London, England)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmcVSums-_A
Come Around (August 19, 2008 Toronto, Canada)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1huAWlXu8tY
Good Time (May 14, 2009 Wembley Arena, London, England)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fKpIuWHbLc
Holiday in Spain (May 14, 2009 Wembley Arena, London, England)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHB5xM_UQXc
Children In Bloom (May 13, 2009 Birmingham, England)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XNgmM0KJXs
You Ain't Going Nowhere (August 19, 2008 Toronto, Canada)
Those who say knowing is better obviously do not know enough.
jr.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
"Saw Cinderella in a party dress but she was looking for a nightgown, I saw the devil wrapping up his hands, he's getting ready for the showdown..."
From Monday's performance on The Late Show with David Letterman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DgeXDFL1Ac
A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers
From The Master by Colm Toibin, a part factual and fictional novel about the writer Henry James.
"What once was life, he thought, is always life and he knew that her image would preside in his intellect as a sort of measure and standard of brightness and repose."
There will be people throughout our lives who every other person is measured against, fairly or more accurately unfairly.
"He lived, at times, he felt, as if his life belonged to someone else, a story that had not yet been written, a character who had not been fully imagined."
I live more than at times like this.
It is the Victoria Day long weekend here in Canada. I am sure many plans will be ruined or altered by the usual rain. There is nothing like dreaming of summer weather in May but being awoke by the coldness of spring. Though this weekend it is more likely the rain rather than the cold which will be a problem. I have no plans other than having dinner with my grandparents tomorrow.
I have already been over there a couple of times this week, as my dad and I were working on their garden and putting up a new fence. I wouldn't say I am getting a green thumb but I am getting plenty of dirty under my nails trying.
I wrote the piece below yesterday, trying to recall what was a enjoyable Saturday night last weekend. I probably should have broken down the piece to make it look better but I just left the sentences long and rambling, abusing the comma.
On A Saturday Night In May
Outside the wind marched defiantly around like Napoleon's Grand Armee before Russia, Saturday night girls wore their summer dresses though May had barely begun maturing, A porcelain skinned fairytale princess sent text messages to her absent prince charming, The dark but very familiar basement Irish pub echoed with a cover song about Alabama, I longed for the sweetness of a piano being played and the fullness of a moon being seen, Instead birthday celebrations continued and blue eyes became golden after the head rush, Lights slowly illuminated like miniature versions of the morning sun still sleeping calmly, The crowd lingered while pondering their reality or the semblance they were left holding, We slowly made our way up the stairs like many others and reemerged out on Richmond, There was not a freight train to wait for and my friends began their search for night food, I laughed at the results of alcohol on people while walking a step or two behind as usual, The lines were chatty and long as not unexpected but were quickly abandoned for home, Walking down Pall Mall brought back many previous memories of other Saturday nights, Some of them were shared with the princess on one arm and the birthday girl on another, I felt peacefully needed like a necessary escort in a world lacking mannered gentleman, Goodnights always come too soon after you have enjoyed yourself rather unexpectedly, Happiness is not a good friend of mine and I should try harder to appease its visitations, There might be a place where my solitary sorrow could appreciate its many faced gifts, Dust has not rendered me irrelevant thus far and perhaps I have more memories to share, Creating them might just find a way to bring love where it always seemed rather vacant.
14/05/09
Counting Crows Clips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SswG-1Q3fFM
Round Here (Letterman March 31, 1994)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6-rwVPP0tY
Miami (Acoustic) (Absolute Radio May 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI7ruq40bLg
Mrs. Potter's Lullaby (Birmingham, England May 13, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vK7D8kGuy8
Colorblind (Birmingham, England May 13, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzw23fS2T1k
Come Around (Birmingham, England May 13, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_e5jMP1rqM
Daylight Fading (Birmingham, England May 13, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohgxN6dw11o
Washington Square (Manchester, England May 12, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTq83-GLSg0
A Long December (Toronto, Canada August 19, 2008)
Enjoy your long or not weekend.
john.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DgeXDFL1Ac
A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers
From The Master by Colm Toibin, a part factual and fictional novel about the writer Henry James.
"What once was life, he thought, is always life and he knew that her image would preside in his intellect as a sort of measure and standard of brightness and repose."
There will be people throughout our lives who every other person is measured against, fairly or more accurately unfairly.
"He lived, at times, he felt, as if his life belonged to someone else, a story that had not yet been written, a character who had not been fully imagined."
I live more than at times like this.
It is the Victoria Day long weekend here in Canada. I am sure many plans will be ruined or altered by the usual rain. There is nothing like dreaming of summer weather in May but being awoke by the coldness of spring. Though this weekend it is more likely the rain rather than the cold which will be a problem. I have no plans other than having dinner with my grandparents tomorrow.
I have already been over there a couple of times this week, as my dad and I were working on their garden and putting up a new fence. I wouldn't say I am getting a green thumb but I am getting plenty of dirty under my nails trying.
I wrote the piece below yesterday, trying to recall what was a enjoyable Saturday night last weekend. I probably should have broken down the piece to make it look better but I just left the sentences long and rambling, abusing the comma.
On A Saturday Night In May
Outside the wind marched defiantly around like Napoleon's Grand Armee before Russia, Saturday night girls wore their summer dresses though May had barely begun maturing, A porcelain skinned fairytale princess sent text messages to her absent prince charming, The dark but very familiar basement Irish pub echoed with a cover song about Alabama, I longed for the sweetness of a piano being played and the fullness of a moon being seen, Instead birthday celebrations continued and blue eyes became golden after the head rush, Lights slowly illuminated like miniature versions of the morning sun still sleeping calmly, The crowd lingered while pondering their reality or the semblance they were left holding, We slowly made our way up the stairs like many others and reemerged out on Richmond, There was not a freight train to wait for and my friends began their search for night food, I laughed at the results of alcohol on people while walking a step or two behind as usual, The lines were chatty and long as not unexpected but were quickly abandoned for home, Walking down Pall Mall brought back many previous memories of other Saturday nights, Some of them were shared with the princess on one arm and the birthday girl on another, I felt peacefully needed like a necessary escort in a world lacking mannered gentleman, Goodnights always come too soon after you have enjoyed yourself rather unexpectedly, Happiness is not a good friend of mine and I should try harder to appease its visitations, There might be a place where my solitary sorrow could appreciate its many faced gifts, Dust has not rendered me irrelevant thus far and perhaps I have more memories to share, Creating them might just find a way to bring love where it always seemed rather vacant.
14/05/09
Counting Crows Clips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SswG-1Q3fFM
Round Here (Letterman March 31, 1994)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6-rwVPP0tY
Miami (Acoustic) (Absolute Radio May 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI7ruq40bLg
Mrs. Potter's Lullaby (Birmingham, England May 13, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vK7D8kGuy8
Colorblind (Birmingham, England May 13, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzw23fS2T1k
Come Around (Birmingham, England May 13, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_e5jMP1rqM
Daylight Fading (Birmingham, England May 13, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohgxN6dw11o
Washington Square (Manchester, England May 12, 2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTq83-GLSg0
A Long December (Toronto, Canada August 19, 2008)
Enjoy your long or not weekend.
john.
Monday, May 11, 2009
"I know that I would be a fool, not to bet it all on you and let the chips fall where they may....."
A song by Raul Malo to start the blog entry off, his voice and style has caught my ear. He certainly has some of Mr. Orbison's spirit in him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOrou5PQYas
Lucky One
You come in from the light and are feathered by the night. There are friends, there are angels, there are strangers and there is music. You walk around amazed you feel alive because you usually do not. The wind is cool and frustrating on a Saturday in May because you long for warmth or some expectation of it. Then you are hugged by the warmth of kindness and realize it never really leaves. It is only us who leave it.
A few Counting Crows clips to share.
Hanging Tree (Summer 2007, somewhere out in America)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3wckZaZJ08
Richard Manuel Is Dead (Acoustic) (August 19, 2008 Toronto)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNMaL9PRXkY
Mr. Jones (Acoustic) (August 19, 2008 Toronto)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQX0BoQVWXM
Come Around (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7n5MD3x3r0
Le Ballet D'Or (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jAAwEjHV0c
Recovering The Satellites (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqfoD9u68j8
Have You Seen Me Lately? (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq05IZ5lNhE
Cowboys (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00nvJQYVwbw
Ghost Train (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI8H-Qsq1F0
So another baseball star is a cheater. Is anybody surprised? Probably not. Am I surprised? Not at all. Manny Ramirez has always played for himself. "Manny being Manny" was always everyone's reaction to his laziness or lack of interest at times. Well I guess now "Manny being Manny" includes talking drugs banned by Major League Baseball, drugs used after a cycle of steroids. Manny's career numbers are amazing, .315, 535 homeruns and 1745 rbi's but like the rest of the cheaters he will forever reside outside Cooperstown, and rightly so. He should not even play another game in the league but like Alex Rodriguez, we are stuck watching these frauds make their millions. This is because we still love the game and it perhaps explains everything about love.
The last book I finished reading yesterday, A Good House by Bonnie Burnard is a very good read. I would recommend it.
http://www.powells.com/biblio?isbn=0312420323
john.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOrou5PQYas
Lucky One
You come in from the light and are feathered by the night. There are friends, there are angels, there are strangers and there is music. You walk around amazed you feel alive because you usually do not. The wind is cool and frustrating on a Saturday in May because you long for warmth or some expectation of it. Then you are hugged by the warmth of kindness and realize it never really leaves. It is only us who leave it.
A few Counting Crows clips to share.
Hanging Tree (Summer 2007, somewhere out in America)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3wckZaZJ08
Richard Manuel Is Dead (Acoustic) (August 19, 2008 Toronto)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNMaL9PRXkY
Mr. Jones (Acoustic) (August 19, 2008 Toronto)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQX0BoQVWXM
Come Around (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7n5MD3x3r0
Le Ballet D'Or (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jAAwEjHV0c
Recovering The Satellites (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqfoD9u68j8
Have You Seen Me Lately? (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq05IZ5lNhE
Cowboys (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00nvJQYVwbw
Ghost Train (May 8, 2009 Dublin)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI8H-Qsq1F0
So another baseball star is a cheater. Is anybody surprised? Probably not. Am I surprised? Not at all. Manny Ramirez has always played for himself. "Manny being Manny" was always everyone's reaction to his laziness or lack of interest at times. Well I guess now "Manny being Manny" includes talking drugs banned by Major League Baseball, drugs used after a cycle of steroids. Manny's career numbers are amazing, .315, 535 homeruns and 1745 rbi's but like the rest of the cheaters he will forever reside outside Cooperstown, and rightly so. He should not even play another game in the league but like Alex Rodriguez, we are stuck watching these frauds make their millions. This is because we still love the game and it perhaps explains everything about love.
The last book I finished reading yesterday, A Good House by Bonnie Burnard is a very good read. I would recommend it.
http://www.powells.com/biblio?isbn=0312420323
john.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
"A song for your heart, but when it is quiet, I know what it means and I'll carry you home....."
"If you can't see or hear or touch a man, it's best to let him go...."
A quote from East of Eden by John Steinbeck to start today's blog entry.
The obligatory Counting Crows clips, some good new ones this time around.
Angels of the Silences (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0_c8Z8wmLw
Holiday in Spain (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY1LVMycsIE
Anna Begins (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc9BM8UW75A
Up All Night (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a58ZPeavYik
On Almost Any Sunday Morning (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIpycMxic08
Mr. Jones (Summer 2007, somewhere out in America)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VejZWxIzGWw
The strength of people can be amazing. In the middle of March my grandfather had a total laryngectomy to remove a large cancerous tumour. The surgery was successful and he is currently going through radiation and chemo treatments. But the surgery has left him unable to speak, and the swelling has affected his hearing. He also has trouble seeing and has lost a lot of weight. But despite all of this, there he was on Saturday walking me through what he wanted done to his gardens. I am getting good at reading lips and he had his clipboard, so it wasn't too difficult. Though I am not a good gardener and he was very willing to show me what he wanted done. Quickly grabbing a shovel, a rake or hoe to show me how it should be done. Of course I was worried he was doing too much and my grandmother had her appropriate head shaking at his stubbornness. I think the hardest part of his recovery will be adjusting to not being as physically active as he was before. Even in his middle 80's, he was very active doing his gardens and yard work. Some of this he will have to reluctantly let other people do, others like me who do not exactly have green thumbs. The progress of his recovery is very inspirational, it does me very good to make my weekly visits and help out where possible.
I haven't wrote much lately, as is normal. The piece below was written on the last day of April, dreaming of a better May and still waiting for it.
A Dreamer Has A Nightmare Life
April is leaving in a few hours
I can hear her final tears falling
The sound is calm and soothing
Rain can be an appropriate gift
When goodbyes are being said
There is a poignancy of timing
I will see her after another year
May can hide me in her flowers
A man with childlike aspirations
Needing to be warmed by June
The ignored kid without a nipple
Crying from hunger and neglect
Scrounging weeds for nutrition
Dandelion wine instead of milk
Becoming drunk on old whores
I was never this type of person
There is little anger or jealousy
A loneliness abetted by sadness
Hatred of self is my only crime
The imagination has hundreds
A dreamer has a nightmare life
I see the truth in every mirror
No needles but lots of damage
Skin scars after being wounded
Evidence can never be erased
Fragments of it remain forever
Accepting ugliness is not easy
Especially when it is inside us
A place of remembered good
Where only the bad reappear
I really need this new month
Her flowers and her sunshine
Fragrant smells and moments
The love of nature can return
Because it was once present
The love of self might never
I do not think it is as natural.
30/04/09
I like reading books by local authors and stories wove around places I have been or know of. One of these books is A Good House by Bonnie Burnard, which so far has offered commentary about life in London during the middle 1950's, with references to the University, the Ceeps and other London landmarks. Home is a place that can be written about.
Below is Carry You Home from All The Lost Souls by James Blunt. A song stuck in my head today. Along with the harmonica from On Almost Any Sunday Morning on this early Tuesday evening. Time for tea, cake and more reading.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB-ymwBUtvs
john edward.
A quote from East of Eden by John Steinbeck to start today's blog entry.
The obligatory Counting Crows clips, some good new ones this time around.
Angels of the Silences (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0_c8Z8wmLw
Holiday in Spain (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY1LVMycsIE
Anna Begins (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc9BM8UW75A
Up All Night (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a58ZPeavYik
On Almost Any Sunday Morning (May 4, 2009 Rotterdam, Netherlands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIpycMxic08
Mr. Jones (Summer 2007, somewhere out in America)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VejZWxIzGWw
The strength of people can be amazing. In the middle of March my grandfather had a total laryngectomy to remove a large cancerous tumour. The surgery was successful and he is currently going through radiation and chemo treatments. But the surgery has left him unable to speak, and the swelling has affected his hearing. He also has trouble seeing and has lost a lot of weight. But despite all of this, there he was on Saturday walking me through what he wanted done to his gardens. I am getting good at reading lips and he had his clipboard, so it wasn't too difficult. Though I am not a good gardener and he was very willing to show me what he wanted done. Quickly grabbing a shovel, a rake or hoe to show me how it should be done. Of course I was worried he was doing too much and my grandmother had her appropriate head shaking at his stubbornness. I think the hardest part of his recovery will be adjusting to not being as physically active as he was before. Even in his middle 80's, he was very active doing his gardens and yard work. Some of this he will have to reluctantly let other people do, others like me who do not exactly have green thumbs. The progress of his recovery is very inspirational, it does me very good to make my weekly visits and help out where possible.
I haven't wrote much lately, as is normal. The piece below was written on the last day of April, dreaming of a better May and still waiting for it.
A Dreamer Has A Nightmare Life
April is leaving in a few hours
I can hear her final tears falling
The sound is calm and soothing
Rain can be an appropriate gift
When goodbyes are being said
There is a poignancy of timing
I will see her after another year
May can hide me in her flowers
A man with childlike aspirations
Needing to be warmed by June
The ignored kid without a nipple
Crying from hunger and neglect
Scrounging weeds for nutrition
Dandelion wine instead of milk
Becoming drunk on old whores
I was never this type of person
There is little anger or jealousy
A loneliness abetted by sadness
Hatred of self is my only crime
The imagination has hundreds
A dreamer has a nightmare life
I see the truth in every mirror
No needles but lots of damage
Skin scars after being wounded
Evidence can never be erased
Fragments of it remain forever
Accepting ugliness is not easy
Especially when it is inside us
A place of remembered good
Where only the bad reappear
I really need this new month
Her flowers and her sunshine
Fragrant smells and moments
The love of nature can return
Because it was once present
The love of self might never
I do not think it is as natural.
30/04/09
I like reading books by local authors and stories wove around places I have been or know of. One of these books is A Good House by Bonnie Burnard, which so far has offered commentary about life in London during the middle 1950's, with references to the University, the Ceeps and other London landmarks. Home is a place that can be written about.
Below is Carry You Home from All The Lost Souls by James Blunt. A song stuck in my head today. Along with the harmonica from On Almost Any Sunday Morning on this early Tuesday evening. Time for tea, cake and more reading.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB-ymwBUtvs
john edward.
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