"I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take, when people run in circles, it's a very, very, mad world, mad world....'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1Nq086QB1Q
Mad World by Gary Jules (Tears For Fears Cover)
It is not a completely mad world but you really have to wonder.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/07/31/canada.bus/index.html?iref=hpmostpop
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/07/31/shenadoah.beating/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/07/31/preacher.freezer/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/montreal/story/2008/07/31/teen-found-charges.html
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/World/2008/07/31/6318311-ap.html
The following is from The Fire-Dwellers by Margaret Laurence.
"Nothing like that, nothing even remotely like that could happen here. And then again, anything that could happen to anybody could happen to anybody. Anything."
I wrote the following earlier this evening.
Cruelty
July approaches August
Without offering anything new
This summer has become a failure
I accept all blame for its disappointment
My heart was never really in it
There is a fundamental flaw in me
I think too much about everything
Doing nothing about anything at all
Vaguely interested in other people
Though never enough to matter
Living appropriately like a recluse
Saying as little as possible
For fear of becoming friends
There is too much reciprocation required
I cannot offer it or fake it
Without feeling too much awkwardness
We are all wired a certain way
My circuit board is frayed and damaged
Miraculously it functions sometimes
I do not need to be fixed
Write your song for someone else
An appreciative chap who smiles
Kindness is a mask for cruelty
Not the killing kind but torture nonetheless
Interaction engaged and quickly disengaged
I make no apologies for such inadequacies
My promises are purposely nonexistent
Those made to myself have all been broken
Daily it seems they are growing
So you will get nothing from me
Remembering I want nothing from you
Cruelty is more than cutting someone’s head off
A lifetime spent keeping people out is as cruel
I remember being a different boy
Those many summers ago
When July approached August
Offering another month of fun
What a strange word in my head
Thoughts can take almost any form
I made a costume of invisibility
Even though being so is impossible
Perhaps the boy and the man
Are not so different after all.
07/30/08
jr.

"She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway..."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BUVWzvFYk0k
3 AM by Matchbox Twenty
Today I heard the song above for the first time in a long time, so there is an acoustic clip of it. A few nights a week I am still not asleep at 3 AM, not by choice though, but such is that. Sleep is only a slightly shorter version of death.
Below is an interesting article about the Dalai Lama and how his goodness is not helping him deal with China. In fact the very thing that makes people look up to him, might make it impossible for him to accomplish what has been his goal for the people of Tibet.
http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/News/Columnists/Van_Dusen_Lisa/2008/07/30/6305476-sun.html
"More than words is all I ever needed you to show..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kt7L4X4li_k
More Than Words by Extreme
I was not impressed with The Love Guru when I watched it today. There were a few amusing moments, lots of Canadian content but most of the jokes were lame and tiresome. Mike Myers has failed here and what was Justin Timberlake thinking, playing a character who wears a fur coat and sings along to Celine Dion. Of course, he isn't gay but this doesn't help the impression. There was very little to like about the movie and even how the Maple Leafs win the cup is disappointing. Come on elephants allowed on the ice (to procreate) before a Stanley Cup deciding penalty shot. The song above was used in the movie, only with Myers and his Indian buddy singing it. There is a link to information about the movie below. Its 3.5 is appropriate.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0811138/
"Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=V9EUkckt458
Brim Full of Asha by Cornershop
The catchy song above was also used in The Love Guru, I hadn't heard it in a long time either, sort of still catchy.
What a funny story below. I guess not only does every guy need a bosom but every girl needs a penis, that doesn't break off.
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=241571&in_page_id=2
"I'll wait for you while she slips in something comfortable and I'll miss you when I'm slipping in between....."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Y2qEG4x6k2U
Goodnight Elisabeth (with Pale Blue Eyes alternates) by Counting Crows (last night in Raleigh, N.C.)
I wrote the following yesterday, borrowing sorrow and words to do so.
Using Words Borrowed To Say Goodbye
We walked beside the train tracks
Following its steel towards the moon
Not much was said because of ponderings
A tedious life this one is turning into
I suppose they all have their moments
Should anything be more than imaginary
Nothing is what we become in the ground
After all the trials and tribulations
Words spoken quietly or left unspoken
Each of us making our own decisions
Whether intentionally or accidentally
Time is our constant faceless stalker
God is only an echo in our head
We can either hear or choose not to
Faith is more than religion or hope
There can be no avoiding trusting
Our human instincts make it necessary
Though they also allow us to adapt
Should too many trusts become broken
Inevitably this is the way of the land
Steel reflecting light and blinding our way
I stood beside the open bedroom door
Watching you undress and mount him
Much like the night he deflowered you
They say things go around in circles
These train tracks only go forward
Mistakes are years in the making
When you never stop loving your first
How easily I forgive but never forget
Using words borrowed to say goodbye
Turning south and never looking back north
Our cities are too small for avoiding sorrow
You were delicate like a flower
Too easily pollinated and penetrated
With visitors from the past under various moons
I was always going to be a guest to you
A home is what my heart is waiting for
Beautifully landscaped with real flowers
Not imitations of the plastic variety.
07/29/08
Also from the Raleigh show last night.
Round Here (extended version)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uJCDQyT9vGg
Recovering The Satellites
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5ouz0cljPHA
Time and Time Again
http://youtube.com/watch?v=M1MqRcLQnAE
We had quite the thunderstorm this morning around 8 and it has been overcast all day. I am not sure what the evening will bring. We can never really be sure of anything, if we are, we will be disappointed.
jr.

"If you wanted to be free, there's one thing you need to know and that's that you can't count on me..."

I think this is a good idea and I would like to see everyone have to smoke outside. It is safer and there is less chance of accidental fires.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/080729/canada/stjohns_city_smoking_ban
Another nice and warm day. About an hour ago a 5.4 earthquake hit just east of Los Angeles, not sure if there is a lot of damage or death but doesn't seem to be.
Today is Tuesday, below is the countdown, a new/old #1. The top 100 songs out of 1315.
Letterman and summer toys, I found the 10 minute show and tell very funny.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=095u0ZsdNow Part 1
http://youtube.com/watch?v=EKwpSzQk5bc Part 2
jr.

Top 100 Songs Played This Year On My iTunes Player
1. You Can't Count On Me by Counting Crows (7)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=h2lfD2XpnvM
2. The One I Love by David Gray (1)
3. Wonderwall by Oasis (2)
4. Supernatural Superserious by R.E.M. (5)
5. Empty by Ray LaMontagne (3)
6. Creep by Radiohead (4)
7. Boy With A Coin by Iron and Wine (8)
8. Say It To Me Now by Glen Hansard (6)
9. When I Dream Of Michelangelo by Counting Crows (11)
10. Waiting by City and Colour (10)
11. Have You Ever Seen The Rain? by C.C.R. (9)
12. Guaranteed by Eddie Vedder (15)
13. The Bends by Radiohead (12)
14. One by U2 (13)
15. Thinking About You by Norah Jones (14)
16. No One's Gonna Love You by Band Of Horses (16)
17. All The Trees Are Hers by Hawksley Workman (18)
18. Always by Neverending White Lights (19)
19. Everybody Knows by Ryan Adams (20)
20. Hannah by Ray LaMontagne (29)
21. When You Were Young by The Killers (27)
22. Long Road To Ruin by Foo Fighters (17)
23. Cowboys by Counting Crows (23)
24. A Long December by Counting Crows (43)
25. Blanket Of Ghosts by Dustin Kensrue (22)
26. Falling Slowly by The Frames (21)
27. NYC by Interpol (25)
28. Lemon Parade by Tonic (30)
29. You Are My Face by Wilco (32)
30. Calling All Friends by Low Stars (28)
31. Love Hurts by Incubus (24)
32. Your Heart Is An Empty Room by Death Cab For Cutie (38)
33. Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles (NR)
34. Have You Seen Me Lately? (Acoustic) by Counting Crows (39)
35. Hard Sun by Eddie Vedder (37)
36. A Time To Be So Small by Interpol (47)
37. Sunday Morning Coming Down (Live) by Johnny Cash (26)
38. Everything by Michael Buble (35)
39. Sing by Travis (34)
40. Kite by U2 (33)
41. Where The Streets Have No Name by U2 (31)
42. Off He Goes by Pearl Jam (67)
43. My List by The Killers (36)
44. Girl In The War by Josh Ritter (49)
45. Gotta Be Somebody's Blues by Jimmy Eat World (59)
46. If I Had Eyes by Jack Johnson (48)
47. Your Song by Elton John (46)
48. Society be Eddie Vedder (45)
49. Oceanside by The Decemberists (57)
50. 1492 by Counting Crows (40)
51. Hospital Beds by Cold War Kids (42)
52. Southern Girl by Amos Lee (41)
53. O Valencia by The Decemberists (44)
54. Let It be by The Beatles (79)
55. Baby I Love Your Way by Bob Marley (55)
56. The Hardest Part by Coldplay (NR)
57. Hard Candy by Counting Crows (52)
58. If You're Gonna Leave by Emerson Hart (72)
59. 1973 by James Blunt (58)
60. Only The Lonely by Roy Orbison (50)
61. Let It Ride by Ryan Adams (51)
62. Michelle by The Beatles (54)
63. Miller's Angels by Counting Crows (NR)
64. What Light by Wilco (61)
65. Tupelo Honey by Van Morrison (NR)
66. The Con by Tegan and Sara (60)
67. The Blues by Switchfoot (95)
68. Jumpin' Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones (93)
69. The Painter by Neil Young (69)
70. You're Always Going Too Soon by Matthew Jay (70)
71. Tears and Rain by James Blunt (NR)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=o96DcZoXSFU
72. Naked As We Came by Iron and Wine (89)
73. Talk Shows On Mute by Incubus (88)
74. Accidental Babies by Damien Rice (84)
75. Catapult (Acoustic) by Counting Crows (62)
76. Warning Sign by Coldplay (82)
77. Diamonds On The Inside by Ben Harper (75)
78. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds by The Beatles (76)
79. Is There A Ghost? by Band Of Horses (53)
80. Only Love Can Break Your Heart by Neil Young (77)
81. Rain King (Acoustic) by Counting Crows (78)
82. Los Angeles by Counting Crows (56)
83. The Weight by The Band (NR)
84. Some Surprise by The Cake Sale (Lisa Hannigan + Gary Lightbody) (81)
85. Save Your Scissors by City and Colour (NR)
86. Daylight Fading by Counting Crows (74)
87. The Crane Wife 3 by The Decemberists (85)
88. Lying Eyes by The Eagles (73)
89. Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy (NR)
90. Anna Molly by Incubus (NR)
91. Chase This Light by Jimmy Eat World (NR)
92. Kathleen by Josh Ritter (90)
93. For Reasons Unknown by The Killers (91)
94. Ramble On by Led Zeppelin (92)
95. Harvest Moon by Neil Young (NR)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=XQXnvNwGTAY
96. The Great Escape by Patrick Watson (68)
97. Alright by Pilot Speed (66)
98. Imitation Of Life by R.E.M. (65)
99. Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright (64)
100. La Cienega Just Smiled by Ryan Adams (63)

"You saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you...."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vsa_xWLOghg
Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley (Leonard Cohen cover)
Perhaps the most beautiful song ever written, no matter who is singing it.
An almost perfect summer day today, temperature in the mid-twenties and there was a really nice breeze. I spent the late afternoon and early evening at my grandparents. My grandfather was working on his backyard garden, it is a labour of pleasure and it is also very beautiful. Perhaps beautiful is the word of the day. We had dinner, which was these thick, round, fried and wrapped in bacon chicken pieces with fresh streamed yellow beans and sliced potatoes with melted cheese slices and onions. It was so good. Also red Jello with banana's sliced in it for dessert. Oh, the beauty that is food.
Below is a long article from the New York Times, exploring online reading and book reading. Many traditionalists fear that the Web is eliminating books from the lives of children. Of course, since I read a lot of books, I think it is important for children to read and do so for fun. It should be fun but I also think if they can use their mind surfing the Web, then they should be allowed to. Finding the right combination, is very important and necessary to expand the young mind. I wish I had read more as a child but I am trying to make up for it now. Anyway, the link is below.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/27/books/27reading.html?em&ex=1217390400&en=2ed38ebdf3964f18&ei=5087%0A
A few Counting Crows clips to end the blog.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cceKvO3oPfg
A compilation of their performance at the Heineken Festival.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TdCuqhrYwpY
Hanging Around (July 25, Virginia Beach)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=d996KReLxPM
A Long December (almost all of it, very beautiful) (July 25, Virginia Beach)
All at once, everything can be beautiful, in the right light.
jr.

"Life is for the taking...."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fEcysw1pjjM
Oh Maria by Sam Roberts
I am tired and unmotivated today. But last night was a lot of fun. It started with some backyard drinking at a friend's house beside his new enclosed fire pit. There were a few of us and it was also our friend's front neighbour's birthday, so we paid our respects and mingled with them. I think shortly before midnight we headed out to Molly's, where we met up with another friend who was out celebrating his bachelor party. The bar was fairly busy and much of my memory of it, is fragmented at best. Though I do remember having my attention distracted on the dance floor. Our friend who was celebrating his bachelor party was dressed up as a female, complete with long haired wig and an old lady style dress. It was like Halloween and he is a better man than me because I could never do that, except perhaps on Halloween. Anyway, good night with lots of friends out and more than enough drinks. I don't exactly remember going to bed but woke up on a strange couch, where a friend is house sitting for his sister. It was strange, I was like, where am I? And man did my head hurt, and there was flavoured popcorn everywhere. The messes we make of ourselves and everything else when we are drunk, are often unexplainable. With the simplest explanation being, we were drunk.
It took most of the morning but Jeff and I finally got motivated to go out for breakfast. Where upon waiting for our food, we decided you go nowhere when you die. Let all the religion nuts have our souls upon their knives. Also when questioned about the meaning of life, I had no explanation. The only reasonable explanation would be having children, they are the only pieces of us that will last beyond our deaths. Though being 30 and with none, I think there must be another meaning, worth searching for.
"The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ced8o50G9kg
Blowing In The Wind by Bob Dylan
The following is from The Fire-Dwellers by Margaret Laurence.
"Very far away in a galaxy countless light-years from this planet, a scorpion-tailed flower-faced film buff sits watching a nothing-shaped undulating screen. He decides he's seen enough. He switches off the pictures which humans always believed were themselves, and the imaginary planet known as Earth vanishes..."
"Be a simple kind of man...."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sHQ_aTjXObs
Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd
It is tough being a simple kind of man, when the world is like this.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/07/27/india.blasts/index.html
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/07/27/turkey.violence/index.html
Cowards with bombs, are very dangerous people. It's too bad we can't make them vanish, like they do lives.
I read a quote today, it said "memories are everyone's second chance at happiness...", I thought it was great quote. But for all the wrong reasons, there isn't enough happiness in memories.
jr.

"I'm counting the cars on the freeway below, lost in the music, all the foolishness of our lives..."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CKbozFx0w40
The Music by David Usher.
To be a leader of men you must act like one. This is what Barack Obama is trying to show on his world tour and for the most part he is doing a good job. The fact that well over 200,000 people showed up to hear him speak in Berlin Germany is remarkable. Though a lot of the people there said he did nothing to change their minds but he won a lot of hearts. Whether you like the country or not, America is still mystical for many people. Though being Canadian I am biased to thinking my country is superior, in terms of culture, kindness and quality of life. Naturally Canada is not perfect, but in my opinion there is something fundamentally wrong with how America has been run, and not all the blame rests with Bush. So it would not surprise me when November comes around, if America, elects John McCain. The man is someone to be looked up to, a hero and should be given the ultimate respect but it doesn't mean he can inspire the people. Perhaps practically speaking he would be the perfect President, but it isn't time for practicality, it is a time for hope and it is a time for optimism. The people of America have to believe in themselves again and the world has to believe in America again. This means America needs a different President, one with different skin, one with a different religion and one with a different approach. The country can't afford to remain the same, it is a time for drastic change, it is a time for the people, to look beyond their past and to their future. Of course, I can write all this with idle regard because I am not entwined within its borders. My freedom and opinions are allowed to be me because I am Canadian. And being so, I am open to a multitude of opinions, listening it seems is possible, even more so when you aren't tied to a heart beating in the past.
At least one billionaire, T. Boone Pickens, has a plan to end America's dependency on oil. It might not be possible in the time period Pickens has set out but it merits attention, if only because he has backed it with 10 Billion dollars. Sure in the end it maybe selfish and make him a richer man but at least he is speaking honestly.
What America needs is more billionaires to give up some of the money, frankly, they will never be able to spend it and I don't care how hard they worked for it. These are the people that the American government should be taxing and stealing from, to pay off their outrageous debt and fund education and health care. America made them rich and really how rich does a person need to be. Pickens plan is below along with an article about it from the New York Times.
http://www.pickensplan.com/
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/24/opinion/24egan.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=t%20boone%20pickens&st=cse&oref=slogin
"You look so defeated lying there in your new twin sized bed..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=D95u0VfjYBI
Your New Twin Sized Bed by Death Cab For Cutie.
Yesterday I finished reading Hotel Du Lac by Anita Brookner, it was an okay read, another book written from the female perspective. A male can gain valuable insight reading books written by females, though it hasn't helped me much. Having finished that book I have returned to James Joyce's Portrait of the Artist, which I think I will have a really hard time finishing. Plus I have started reading another Margaret Laurence book, The Fire Dwellers, which I had lying around. The thing about older books and used bookstores, is that you can find them cheaply and gather them up and lose track of them. Such are my diversions, it is good thing they work half of the time.
I wrote the following last night.
A Master Of Conversations
To not die, is to not live
Without being able to imagine life
There would be no sunrises or sunsets
Perfectly coloured and peacefully lingered
Even in the absence of their presence
Our memories can form happy delusions
Much like they conjure unhappy occasions
The birthday’s without much celebration
A final goodbye lacking any poignancy
Nothing but a simple relief in its passing
When previously it seemed so important
Each heart beats differently as minds think
Our closeness can be a brilliant illusion
Held in place by our infinite loneliness
Shattered by the leaving of our companion
Carefully flown like a baby bird to another nest
Where it will be safer and free to love
Kindness is not enough in this life
Merely it allows you to almost touch
What can surely make you happier
The person with the deepest eyes
Blessed by being a master of conversations
Making not a minute boring or unexplored
Though knowing silence can be golden
When it is comfortable, welcomed and needed
To not speak, is to not regret
Much like speaking can be a mistake
Honestly none of us know absolutely how
Another person needs to be let go of
Should it even be possible for us
After too many hours have gone ignored
There is too much worrying in living
Being a burden once is inevitable
Avoiding the consistency of it is possible
Once we understand what we really need
There are no more flips of coins
Decisions made after a few glasses of wine
Everything does not seem random
We recognize the progression of life
The idiosyncrasies allowing it to be special
To have lived, is to have died
But in the breeze our story remains
A refreshing touch on human skin.
07/24/08
I like when this guy is on Letterman as one of his many characters. This time he is playing Francis Albert Lincoln.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=aIzg_2S4D6E
The phrase of the day is: I don't give a flying fuck.
jr.

"It's raining in Baltimore, baby, but everything else is the same..."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dnzU0IzJJrY
Raining In Baltimore by Counting Crows (Live September 1997)
I am watching the Jays playing the Orioles and it certainly looks like it will be raining in Baltimore, very soon. Too bad the game is tied at 1, was 2-1 Jays now.
It rained here early this afternoon and feels like an early autumn day. It is actually a very nice change, though the sun shining would have been nice. Cooler weather with sun would be ideal. The city of Toronto has already set a rainfall record for any June and July. We haven't got as much rain but everyday lately, it looks like it is going to.
Amalea and I went to my grandparents for dinner tonight. I ate too much, really, this time I actually ate too much. We had macaroni and cheese with tomatoes, along with a garden salad mixture. I had 2 full plates of m+c, and I had 2 bowls of salad, plus a dinner role. About half an hour later I had my tea with apple pie and ice cream. I feel like I might explode.
"The butterfly in reverse here is me..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ak5SgklD7rA
Butterfly In Reverse by Counting Crows
I wrote the following last night shortly after 11pm. It was only slightly influenced by Elton John's Levon, I suppose I should have used it in the blog but it is a CC day.
Left Behind Somewhere
The thunderstorm has ceased
After nearly an hour of steady rain
Jesus walks slowly beside Levon
They have just delivered their balloons
A lyrical father and son heading home
Carefully holding hands throughout New York
Each thinking of something different
Jesus wanting to be free like a balloon
Levon still feeling like a pauper’s son
Nothing can permanently be escaped
Once it has lived inside us for too long
I hold everything in but barely
What comes out, does so here
A few scatter lines of fictional fact
Deciphering an artist is impossible
All we can do is offer our interpretation
Though unsolicited words often fall
Upon deaf ears or absence minded thoughts
I have been left behind somewhere
Jesus on the streets of New York
Without a balloon to lift him free
A fingerprint above Central Park
Where Levon first read about God
Though they said he was dead
What do the papers know about truth
Was something Alvin taught his son
I think my lessons have been well learned
Through no miracle of faith or providence
They are remembered in my heart
A place of scars and scares
One day it will stop caring
Whether my mind is happy or not
Arbitrary feelings will no longer matter
I will be left to the imagination
A footnote in a poem or lyric
The creation of an artist
Unwilling to bend to critics
They so often need one or the other
Tonight there was lightning and thunder
Both occurred at the same time and place
Leaving a peaceful calm in their absence
A song to listen to and conjure
The characters necessary to write
Filling a void in my soul
I may have been left behind somewhere
But for now I am here.
07/22/08
Well it is now raining in Baltimore and the game is in a rain delay, at least the Jays are winning now.
jr.