The skies exploded open this morning shortly after five, the winds were over 100 km/hr and the rain was falling sideways. Actually I am not sure that it was falling sideways or if rain can even fall sideways, I was in bed and wasn't about to try find out. After the rain (a good Blue Rodeo song) and after I went to work, it turned into a very warm, humid and hazy day. The temperature was above 30 Celsius and tomorrow is expected to be around 34, which I guess would be a record, it is still only June after all. We had a very cool and wet spring in Southern Ontario, and now seem to have been thrown right into a hot and humid summer.
The first two games of the Stanley Cup were exciting and awesome to watch, not just because the Canucks won but because it was good hockey. Last night's game, 8-1 Boston was less because of the score and the physical shenanigans, Rome's late hit on Horton, has knocked both of them out of the series, suspension and concussion respectively. The hit was dangerous and are the type of hits Scott Stevens made a Hall of Fame career out of but it is different culture in 2011. This though is a good trade off for the Canucks as Horton is a difference maker and Rome is a 6th defence man.
I wrote the poem below yesterday. It is a rambling disillusioned type of piece, and the Bowie reference is random because Ziggy came on as I was writing. As always Mr. Young is a part of my musical life ride. I don't think there will be anything original below but a list nonetheless.
My Top 5 Bowie songs.
5. Modern Life
4. Changes
3. Ziggy Stardust
2. China Girl
1. Space Oddity
My Top 5 Young songs (nearly impossible)
5. Old Man
4. After The Gold Rush
3. The Painter
2. Haverst Moon
1. Heart of Gold
I like Neil's mellower side as is evident above.
Ziggy and Mr. Young
We stand in the final scene of our love
The credits roll and Ziggy plays guitar
His left hand tired and makeup caked
The orchids will always bloom for you
Should you find a way back into love
A fictional set of words and thoughts
Played out over time and in soft beds
Where the light does not matter much
It comes as we do and it goes like us
Through the seasons of our romance
Until we are made strangers by years
With our scars, injuries and baggage
Carrying pictures of our present lives
The children we conceived and raised
The people we married and divorced
Ghosts in a room of familiar names
With older faces and bolder opinions
Wisdom should be given to the youth
Before they start to believe in anything
Unfortunately humanity has to believe
Mr. Young I think I am just getting old
Your music acts like a fountain of youth
I will keeping drinking it's magic water
But it might not be enough to save me
The mind and heart are too convoluted
For me to decipher their unique codes
I have been placed in the wrong time
A soul without its joining puzzle piece
Technologies will render me obsolete
A generation of women clicking delete.
06/06/2011
Ziggy Stardust (Live Paris 2002)
Heart of Gold (live in Nashville 2007 I think) Neil in full Cowboy mode.
I am currently reading Diary by Chuck Palahniuk and Testament by Nino Ricci, though my reading has been slacking like my writing.
John.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Absence
A new piece of writing and a song from David Wax Museum.
The Absence
You scan the sky
There is no saviour
Only fading colour
Another day ending
The setting of light
The coming of dark
I browse the web
There is no answer
Only lasting doubt
Another life ending
The burying of bone
The burning of skin
You filled the absence
I still feel the absence
We once shared words
Now we share nothing
The silence angered me
A trust broken to pieces
Never to be put together
There is no more of me
I will ever give to you.
March 04, 2011
Born With A Broken Heart by David Wax Museum.
john.
The Absence
You scan the sky
There is no saviour
Only fading colour
Another day ending
The setting of light
The coming of dark
I browse the web
There is no answer
Only lasting doubt
Another life ending
The burying of bone
The burning of skin
You filled the absence
I still feel the absence
We once shared words
Now we share nothing
The silence angered me
A trust broken to pieces
Never to be put together
There is no more of me
I will ever give to you.
March 04, 2011
Born With A Broken Heart by David Wax Museum.
john.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
As You Were
2011. The end of 2010 was a self promise of change which was naturally broken early in 2011. The winter has hibernated my heart, dried and broken my skin. The blood says that I am living but many things have died inside me. Passion has been replaced by boredom, indifference and self hatred. But still the days must be lived and the stories must be told.
"The previous morning, he had lain for a while on the beach listening to the chain of small metallic noises coming from the hen on the window ledge above him. In that moment, he understood that what you do does not necessarily define you. You can choose to say, Yes, I do this. But I am separate from it. You can give them callow gesture, because that's what they're worth, and you can be as you were. As you were - it's a military expression." Curiosity (A Love Story) by Joan Thomas.
I used to be overly kind, and perhaps people remarked about this aspect of my personality compared to their indifference to my presence and now that the shoe is on the other foot, I wonder about other people's kindness. Where does it come from and why has it not been exhausted, especially as it relates to me.
I read when my attention span is relatively long compared to its relative shortness. Relative. Relative to what. Anyway, I finished 60 books last year and they are listed below with a score out of 5. I am a generous scorer, since I find it impossible to see anything from start to finish, anyone who can write a story, start to finish, has accomplished something. I guess the only thing I can be guaranteed seeing from start to finish is my life, though the start is a mystery as I suppose the end will be.
Chronological order, most recently finished last year.
60. The Yiddish Policemen's Union-Michael Cabon (2)
59. Plainsong-Kent Haruf (3)
58. A Long Way Down-Nick Hornby (3)
57. The Unnamed-Joshua Ferris (3)
56. The Autograph Man-Zadie Smith (3)
55. Slam-Nick Hornby (3)
54. Exit Ghost-Philip Roth (2.5)
53. The Retreat-David Bergen (2.5)
52. The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green-Joshua Braff (3.5)
51. Last Words-George Carlin (4)
50. A Gate at the Stairs-Lorrie Moore (3)
49. Juliet, Naked-Nick Hornby (4)
48. In the Skin of a Lion-Michael Ondaatje (3)
47. Sixpence House (Lost in a Town of Books)-Paul Collins (3)
46. The Boys in the Trees-Mary Swan (3.5)
45. Stories From the Vinyl Cafe-Staurt McLean (3)
44. Garbo Laughs-Elizabeth Hay (4)
43. The Night Watch-Sarah Waters (3)
42. A Long Way Gone (Memories of a Boy Soldier)-Ishmael Beah (4.5)
41. Elizabeth and After-Matt Cohen (3)
40. My Years as Prime Minister-Jean Chretien (3.5)
39. Angela's Ashes-Frank McCourt (4)
38. How To Be Good-Nick Hornby (3.5)
37. Lush Life-Richard Price (3)
36. Half Broke Horses-Jeannette Walls (3.5)
35. Before I Wake-Robert J. Wiersema (3)
34. De Niro's Game-Rawi Hage (3.5)
33. Black Money-Ross MacDonald (3)
32. Then We Came To The End-Joshua Ferris (4)
31. Brief Encounters With Che Guevara (Stories)-Ben Fountain (3)
30. I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (The Dirty Life and Times of Warren Zevon)-Crystal Zevon (4.5)
29. The Anthologist-Nicholson Baker (2.5)
28. The Factory Voice-Jeanette Lynes (4)
27. Love and Summer-William Trevor (2.5)
26. Chronic City-Jonathan Lethem (3)
25. Amsterdam-Ian McEwan (3)
24. Going Rogue (An American Life)-Sarah Palin (3)
23. Open (An Autobiography)-Andre Agassi (4.5)
22. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay-Michael Cabon (4.5)
21. Oryx and Crake-Margaret Atwood (3)
20. Netherland-Joseph O'Neill (3)
19. The Incident Report-Martha Baillie (3)
18. Summertime-J.M. Coetzee (3)
17. Both Ways Is The Only Way I Want It (Stories)-Maile Meloy (3)
16. The Favourite Game-Leonard Cohen (4)
15. My life Outside The Ring-Hulk Hogan (3.5)
14. The Color of Lightning-Paulette Jiles (3.5)
13. Youth-J.M. Coetzee (3)
12. What The Dog Saw (And Other Adventures)-Malcolm Gladwell (3.5)
11. The Winter Vault-Anne Michaels (5)
10. My Prison, My Home (One Woman's Story of Captivity In Iran)-Haleh Esfandiari (5)
9. The Song Is You-Arthur Phillips (5)
8. Exit Lines-Joan Barfoot (2.5)
7. Boyhood-J.M. Coetzee (2.5)
6. Lark + Termite-Jayne Anne Phillips (4.5)
5. American On Purpose (The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot)-Craig Ferguson (3.5)
4. Balzac and The Little Chinese Seamstress-Dai Sijie (3)
3. Generosity (An Enhancement)-Richard Powers (3)
2. The White Tiger-Aravind Adiga (3)
1. The Disappeared-Kim Echlin (3.5)
There you have it. The ratings are more a reflection of a books ability to engage me and to keep me interested, which is why true stories, memoirs and such score higher.
I haven't finished anything yet this year. My attention is on almost nothing. Below was the song I listened to the most last year.
New York City Is Killing by Ray LaMontagne
"The previous morning, he had lain for a while on the beach listening to the chain of small metallic noises coming from the hen on the window ledge above him. In that moment, he understood that what you do does not necessarily define you. You can choose to say, Yes, I do this. But I am separate from it. You can give them callow gesture, because that's what they're worth, and you can be as you were. As you were - it's a military expression." Curiosity (A Love Story) by Joan Thomas.
I used to be overly kind, and perhaps people remarked about this aspect of my personality compared to their indifference to my presence and now that the shoe is on the other foot, I wonder about other people's kindness. Where does it come from and why has it not been exhausted, especially as it relates to me.
I read when my attention span is relatively long compared to its relative shortness. Relative. Relative to what. Anyway, I finished 60 books last year and they are listed below with a score out of 5. I am a generous scorer, since I find it impossible to see anything from start to finish, anyone who can write a story, start to finish, has accomplished something. I guess the only thing I can be guaranteed seeing from start to finish is my life, though the start is a mystery as I suppose the end will be.
Chronological order, most recently finished last year.
60. The Yiddish Policemen's Union-Michael Cabon (2)
59. Plainsong-Kent Haruf (3)
58. A Long Way Down-Nick Hornby (3)
57. The Unnamed-Joshua Ferris (3)
56. The Autograph Man-Zadie Smith (3)
55. Slam-Nick Hornby (3)
54. Exit Ghost-Philip Roth (2.5)
53. The Retreat-David Bergen (2.5)
52. The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green-Joshua Braff (3.5)
51. Last Words-George Carlin (4)
50. A Gate at the Stairs-Lorrie Moore (3)
49. Juliet, Naked-Nick Hornby (4)
48. In the Skin of a Lion-Michael Ondaatje (3)
47. Sixpence House (Lost in a Town of Books)-Paul Collins (3)
46. The Boys in the Trees-Mary Swan (3.5)
45. Stories From the Vinyl Cafe-Staurt McLean (3)
44. Garbo Laughs-Elizabeth Hay (4)
43. The Night Watch-Sarah Waters (3)
42. A Long Way Gone (Memories of a Boy Soldier)-Ishmael Beah (4.5)
41. Elizabeth and After-Matt Cohen (3)
40. My Years as Prime Minister-Jean Chretien (3.5)
39. Angela's Ashes-Frank McCourt (4)
38. How To Be Good-Nick Hornby (3.5)
37. Lush Life-Richard Price (3)
36. Half Broke Horses-Jeannette Walls (3.5)
35. Before I Wake-Robert J. Wiersema (3)
34. De Niro's Game-Rawi Hage (3.5)
33. Black Money-Ross MacDonald (3)
32. Then We Came To The End-Joshua Ferris (4)
31. Brief Encounters With Che Guevara (Stories)-Ben Fountain (3)
30. I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (The Dirty Life and Times of Warren Zevon)-Crystal Zevon (4.5)
29. The Anthologist-Nicholson Baker (2.5)
28. The Factory Voice-Jeanette Lynes (4)
27. Love and Summer-William Trevor (2.5)
26. Chronic City-Jonathan Lethem (3)
25. Amsterdam-Ian McEwan (3)
24. Going Rogue (An American Life)-Sarah Palin (3)
23. Open (An Autobiography)-Andre Agassi (4.5)
22. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay-Michael Cabon (4.5)
21. Oryx and Crake-Margaret Atwood (3)
20. Netherland-Joseph O'Neill (3)
19. The Incident Report-Martha Baillie (3)
18. Summertime-J.M. Coetzee (3)
17. Both Ways Is The Only Way I Want It (Stories)-Maile Meloy (3)
16. The Favourite Game-Leonard Cohen (4)
15. My life Outside The Ring-Hulk Hogan (3.5)
14. The Color of Lightning-Paulette Jiles (3.5)
13. Youth-J.M. Coetzee (3)
12. What The Dog Saw (And Other Adventures)-Malcolm Gladwell (3.5)
11. The Winter Vault-Anne Michaels (5)
10. My Prison, My Home (One Woman's Story of Captivity In Iran)-Haleh Esfandiari (5)
9. The Song Is You-Arthur Phillips (5)
8. Exit Lines-Joan Barfoot (2.5)
7. Boyhood-J.M. Coetzee (2.5)
6. Lark + Termite-Jayne Anne Phillips (4.5)
5. American On Purpose (The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot)-Craig Ferguson (3.5)
4. Balzac and The Little Chinese Seamstress-Dai Sijie (3)
3. Generosity (An Enhancement)-Richard Powers (3)
2. The White Tiger-Aravind Adiga (3)
1. The Disappeared-Kim Echlin (3.5)
There you have it. The ratings are more a reflection of a books ability to engage me and to keep me interested, which is why true stories, memoirs and such score higher.
I haven't finished anything yet this year. My attention is on almost nothing. Below was the song I listened to the most last year.
New York City Is Killing by Ray LaMontagne
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
My Summer Memory
"In a world that lives increasing in the moment, it's important to remember where we've come from, or we may wake up one morning unable to remember who we are." The Road to McCarthy by Pete McCarthy.
My Summer Memory
A mist has consumed the August night
The wetness is welcomed on my fingers
I am reminded of a young summer girl
Who could never stay dry in the heat
Water would drip from her like roofs
I swallowed gulps and stayed thirsty
She spread anywhere and gave anything
I could ever want and greediness won
Countless days were tossed blankets
Their need meant for winter's hours
Longer and lonelier than imaginable
Tolerable only with novels and music
East of Eden, August and Rubber Soul
Those days before Internet and iPod's
These days I am my own Nowhere Man
With my websites, music and novels
Juliet is naked and I'm reading her
But your body is my summer memory
I came on it too much to value it
Now it is beautifully bittersweet
When I think about its evolution
Because knowing is not possible.
August 25, 2010
jr.
My Summer Memory
A mist has consumed the August night
The wetness is welcomed on my fingers
I am reminded of a young summer girl
Who could never stay dry in the heat
Water would drip from her like roofs
I swallowed gulps and stayed thirsty
She spread anywhere and gave anything
I could ever want and greediness won
Countless days were tossed blankets
Their need meant for winter's hours
Longer and lonelier than imaginable
Tolerable only with novels and music
East of Eden, August and Rubber Soul
Those days before Internet and iPod's
These days I am my own Nowhere Man
With my websites, music and novels
Juliet is naked and I'm reading her
But your body is my summer memory
I came on it too much to value it
Now it is beautifully bittersweet
When I think about its evolution
Because knowing is not possible.
August 25, 2010
jr.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
The Stories of our Youth
"And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be
Are full of trees and changing leaves..."
Charles Isaac Elton
The Stories of our Youth
The moon rises before the sun expires
The summer forgets before the autumn colours
A love hides and a song plays
Through the credits of a movie
Disappearing like the stories of our youth
I stand in the soft rain
Waiting for August to fold
September fell once but stands now
How we remember is up to us
I have not forgotten you
Being in love is not an option
The shadows of vows are dark
The smiles of children are white
Digging through sandboxes for treasure
Finding a bone or a piece of China
I will be silver before being old
There will be a sliver of life left
When I close my eyes on winter
Reflecting off the abandoned lake
Frozen with its misplaced mittens
All the stories of our youth
They are written when we are old
Barely able to paint a face
Especially those we loved fully
I complete another jigsaw puzzle
My mind is full of corn mazes
The fields are being ploughed
The animals are being slaughtered
You took something from me
Replacing it has been hard
I cannot figure out this void
A black hole without a muse
Is just another empty space
My heart aches like a bone
It also beats like an organ
Pumping me full of life
I guess the story goes on.
August 21, 2010
john.
Are full of trees and changing leaves..."
Charles Isaac Elton
The Stories of our Youth
The moon rises before the sun expires
The summer forgets before the autumn colours
A love hides and a song plays
Through the credits of a movie
Disappearing like the stories of our youth
I stand in the soft rain
Waiting for August to fold
September fell once but stands now
How we remember is up to us
I have not forgotten you
Being in love is not an option
The shadows of vows are dark
The smiles of children are white
Digging through sandboxes for treasure
Finding a bone or a piece of China
I will be silver before being old
There will be a sliver of life left
When I close my eyes on winter
Reflecting off the abandoned lake
Frozen with its misplaced mittens
All the stories of our youth
They are written when we are old
Barely able to paint a face
Especially those we loved fully
I complete another jigsaw puzzle
My mind is full of corn mazes
The fields are being ploughed
The animals are being slaughtered
You took something from me
Replacing it has been hard
I cannot figure out this void
A black hole without a muse
Is just another empty space
My heart aches like a bone
It also beats like an organ
Pumping me full of life
I guess the story goes on.
August 21, 2010
john.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
"I wish that I was anesthetized and sterilized, and then we wouldn't have this evidence congealing......"
This summer has been the wettest I can remember. I do not mind the rain much but would rather sit outside on my balcony reading than be inside. I really need to purchase a few new books because my unread selection is lacking. If I had a couple of grand to drop on books, I would buy everyone on my list and disappear inside them.
Today we didn't get more than a few drops of rain but the humidity is annoying. I suppose in a perfect world it would be 22 or 23 Celsius each day with a little breeze and lots of sun. I have never lived in a perfect world, you might or might have.
I will be happy when the baseball trade deadline passes Friday, all the speculation is getting to be a bit much. I guess because around here it greatly involves a classless bum like J.P. Riccardi and a classy pitcher like Roy Halladay. He should trade him from a baseball business decision but he should never have been allowed to get to this point with this team. Ground Zero is the only hope for the Blue Jays, rebuild and see what happens in 4 or 5 years without Riccardi and Halladay.
I really need to start watching some good movies again, it has been so long. I tend to stay in bubbles longer than necessary, very little gets in and very little gets out.
I wrote the following last night.
Sliver
The night is not for writing
Earth’s moon is but a sliver
Replicate of my confidence
The night is for considering
Tossing and turning in bed
Kept up by Earth’s oceans
The morning is for sleeping
Waking only opens wounds
Earth’s sun is but a mirror
No longer reflecting smiles
I have almost disappeared
Without needing to return
All the dusty books boxed
Fingerprints left on covers
Earth’s satellites spinning
Showing us how far away
We are from anyone else
Dots on various horizons
Spread across landscapes
Drawn, imaged or natural
All the good dreams lost
Heartbreaks left on souls
Earth’s dwellers weeping
The night is not for loving
Nothing but a sliver lasts.
28 July 2009
Below is another 10 set of Counting Crows related live performances, especially of note this time is the poignant and rarely played Carriage aided by Jim Bogios father Chris on trumpet, very moving.
Angels of the Silences
Rotterdam, Netherlands
May 4, 2009
Cowboys
Rotterdam, Netherlands
May 4, 2009
Up All Night (Frankie Miller Goes To Hollywood)
Rotterdam, Netherlands
May 4, 2009
Carriage
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
Mercury
Adelaide, Australia
March 26, 2009
Mr. Jones
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
Cecilia with Augustana
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
Washington Square with Dan Layus of Augustana
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
Miami
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
(Pay particular attention to the drunken fan who makes it up on stage during the song and also notice how it does not faze Adam at all)
This Land is Your Land with Augustana and company.
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
And so another night fades and the moon is yours, should you need it to illuminate something precious in this life.
jr.
Today we didn't get more than a few drops of rain but the humidity is annoying. I suppose in a perfect world it would be 22 or 23 Celsius each day with a little breeze and lots of sun. I have never lived in a perfect world, you might or might have.
I will be happy when the baseball trade deadline passes Friday, all the speculation is getting to be a bit much. I guess because around here it greatly involves a classless bum like J.P. Riccardi and a classy pitcher like Roy Halladay. He should trade him from a baseball business decision but he should never have been allowed to get to this point with this team. Ground Zero is the only hope for the Blue Jays, rebuild and see what happens in 4 or 5 years without Riccardi and Halladay.
I really need to start watching some good movies again, it has been so long. I tend to stay in bubbles longer than necessary, very little gets in and very little gets out.
I wrote the following last night.
Sliver
The night is not for writing
Earth’s moon is but a sliver
Replicate of my confidence
The night is for considering
Tossing and turning in bed
Kept up by Earth’s oceans
The morning is for sleeping
Waking only opens wounds
Earth’s sun is but a mirror
No longer reflecting smiles
I have almost disappeared
Without needing to return
All the dusty books boxed
Fingerprints left on covers
Earth’s satellites spinning
Showing us how far away
We are from anyone else
Dots on various horizons
Spread across landscapes
Drawn, imaged or natural
All the good dreams lost
Heartbreaks left on souls
Earth’s dwellers weeping
The night is not for loving
Nothing but a sliver lasts.
28 July 2009
Below is another 10 set of Counting Crows related live performances, especially of note this time is the poignant and rarely played Carriage aided by Jim Bogios father Chris on trumpet, very moving.
Angels of the Silences
Rotterdam, Netherlands
May 4, 2009
Cowboys
Rotterdam, Netherlands
May 4, 2009
Up All Night (Frankie Miller Goes To Hollywood)
Rotterdam, Netherlands
May 4, 2009
Carriage
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
Mercury
Adelaide, Australia
March 26, 2009
Mr. Jones
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
Cecilia with Augustana
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
Washington Square with Dan Layus of Augustana
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
Miami
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
(Pay particular attention to the drunken fan who makes it up on stage during the song and also notice how it does not faze Adam at all)
This Land is Your Land with Augustana and company.
Berkeley, California
July 26, 2009
And so another night fades and the moon is yours, should you need it to illuminate something precious in this life.
jr.
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